


ice and fire

by heyitsbabz



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst probably, Dystopian World, M/M, Royalty AU, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, hero! josh, idk man, is that a spoiler, kind of, occasional murder????, team ups that ultimately end with sexual tension, tyler isn't really a villain, villain! tyler
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:21:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 45,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsbabz/pseuds/heyitsbabz
Summary: “Look around, Josh. We're all weapons.You’rea weapon,” Tyler said, waving a hand dismissively. “But you may as well be your own. If you’re going to destroy yourself, baby, do it for yourself and not for other people."Alternatively, Josh is constantly confused and done with everything, Tyler is a stressed man with a Plan™, and they all have powers which, frankly, makes things a whole lot messier than they thought was possible.





	1. The Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> this, my friends, is what I call: plane delay boredom. 
> 
> scrolling through tumblr prompts (s/o the-modern-typewriter ur a real homie for the summary prompt) gave me ideas and since my superhero loving ass hasn't done anything like this, I decided why the hell not? 
> 
> (this was originally meant to be much, much darker, but I changed my mind at the 3rd of the 4 chapters I had planned the story around and... well. hop on this riveting journey, my dudes. it'll be fun!)

Joshua Dun met Tyler Joseph by accident.

They were young, children, when Josh had found Tyler crying by himself, knees pulled to his chest and little sobs racking his tiny body.

Josh hadn't meant to see him, hadn't meant to even _talk_ to him, but an unstoppable force was pulling at his body, urging him to ask the boy if he was okay. It’s as though he couldn't stop himself if he tried, and really, maybe that was the case because next thing he knew he was dropping to his knees and tapping his fingers gently on the other boys.

“Hey, are… are you okay?” Josh asked tentatively, unsure of how the other would react.

He was met with warm chocolate coloured eyes, their edges softening from their glare as soon as they locked with Josh’s worried ones. The boy lifted a hand to wipe under his perfectly button-like nose with a one shouldered shrug, his cheeks turning a light shade of rose in the process.

“Fine.” The boy rasped curtly, turning his face away as he bit at his already raw bottom lip to stop another sob from escaping.

“You don't look so fine.” Josh argued softly, choosing and making the decision not to leave the boy until he was _positive_ he was okay.

“Why do you care?” The boy snapped, tears welling up at the corners of his eyes again. “Nobody cares. I—I’m a monster.”

Stricken, Josh grabbed the other boys hand tightly in his own. “Aren't we all?”

Something flashed in the boys eyes as he turned to face Josh with all the wariness and uncertainty showing fully on his face. Cheeks wet with tears, he took in a shuddering breath before squeezing Josh’s hand back, having come to a decision that left him looking at Josh with a mixture of hope and fear.

“What’s your power?” The boy asked him in a voice that shook, barely above a whisper, and it would have been caught and blown away in the wind had Josh not been paying attention.

Josh gave the boy a small, reassuring smile, trying to convey the message not to be afraid of him before lifting up his hand and spinning it around slowly. The temperature around them suddenly dropped, a shiver racking through the other boys body as he watched Josh form small shards of ice out of thin air, flicking his wrist and tossing them against the wall next to them. They fell to the floor with a pathetic cracking sound, but Josh hadn't really used any pressure in his throw to do actual damage to the wall.

“The ability to manipulate the cold and ice,” Josh closed his eyes and the cold air faded from around them. When he opened his eyes to look at the boy, he was staring at him, impressed. “I’m still working on it. What about you?”

The boy pulled his hand out of Josh’s grasp and snapped his fingers, a small flame lighting up on top of it.

“Fire,” The brunet fought back a laugh at their opposite powers, but then seemed to remember something else and his smile dropped into a frown. “And… And just fire. Manipulation of fire.”

Josh chuckled at the nervous rambling and nodded, reaching out a hand. “Well, hi there, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Josh.”

The boy’s mouth dropped open in surprise, as if he’s never had anyone introduce themselves to him before. Josh almost dropped his hand at the sudden expression, an apology at the tip of his tongue when a wide, genuine smile formed on the boys face, crooked teeth showing and making Josh’s heart skip a beat at the happiness radiating from him.

The boy slipped his small, smooth hand into Josh’s rough, calloused one and let out the sweetest laugh Josh has ever heard in his life.

“Tyler.”

* * *

 

Josh found out who Tyler really was by accident.

They’re 16 years old and Josh had been on his way to going into the house Tyler shared with his grandmother because he hadn't seen Tyler in weeks, worry nagging him at the back of his mind that something had happened to him.

He paused at the front of the door, preparing himself to step over the threshold and to ring the doorbell repeatedly if he has to when he overheard talking near him.

“So this is where mom and dad sent you.” The unknown voice was teasing, mocking. “I gotta say, it took a long time to find you, I mean, _here_ of all places. Gross. I’m surprised no one’s recognized you.”

 _What?_ Josh thought, walking closer to the edge of the house, careful not to make any noise and give away his position.

“It’s not like I go out much,” Tyler answered in a monotonous voice that sent a shiver down Josh’s spine. “What do you want?”

“Is that any way to treat your brother? Aren't you going to invite me in? How’s grandma? Has she rotted away yet?” The guy—Tyler’s _brother—_  replied, amused.

There’s quick movement on the other side when Josh heard a loud thud followed by a grunt. Josh had to force himself not to peak over to make sure Tyler was okay and give himself away, but Tyler’s voice cut through his panicked thoughts.

“ _Don’t_.” The word is spat out, venomous and dangerous while Tyler’s brother laughed at the warning.

“Careful, princeling. You might kill someone.” The other taunted and Josh could practically feel the cruel smile on their face. “Now get off me.”

“What do you want, Zack?” Tyler asked again.

Josh felt his hands begin to shake at the sudden quiet that took over, sullen and eerie; one that had his skin crawling with fear and his stomach turning and twisting in nervousness.

 _Get it together,_ Josh chastised himself. _You’ve got ice on your side._

“I just wanted to see you, is that so wrong?” Zack hummed finally, then louder. “Come out, I know you're there.”

Josh’s breath hitched, his first thought being to get the hell out of there, his fight or flight instincts choosing flight as a defence. His heart hammered in his chest as he closed his eyes, breathing in deeply. Tyler needed him, there was no way he would leave him.

He turned the corner to see Tyler, hands clenched by his sides, his eyes glowing blood red in the darkness while Zack leaned nonchalantly against the wall, glancing down and picking at his nails indifferently.

“You shouldn't be here.” Tyler said, clipped and filled with concealed anger. Josh swallowed, his throat constricting.

“I was worried about you.” Josh blurted out instead, face flushing in embarrassment. “Your—Your eyes…”

Zack’s head snapped up, eyes widening with delight. “Oh, he doesn't know?”

Tyler’s silence made Josh’s heart drop.

“I don't know.” Josh told Zack, confirming his question for him, eyes shifting to the other boy. “Tyler?”

“Have fun explaining this, _prince_ Tyler.” Zack laughed and suddenly he was gone, vanishing in thin air and Josh had the fleeting thought of _oh, teleportation_ before Tyler was grabbing him by the arm and dragging him into the house.

Once they were in, Josh yanked his hand out of Tyler’s grasp, crossing them over his chest and narrowing his eyes at the person he thought he could trust.

“You lied to me. You’ve _been_ lying to me.” Josh said, matter-of-factly.

He’s not sure if the feeling weighing down on his chest is him beating himself up for being a idiot and not knowing or if it’s the betrayal of his best friend being dishonest with him hitting all at once.

“I haven't been lying to you, Josh.” Tyler replied, taking a step toward him. “You just… never asked.”

“I never asked—” Josh cut himself off, laughing, incredulous at Tyler’s way of diverting the blame from himself. “Who the hell are you?”

Tyler took a deep breath, glancing up at the ceiling as though what he was about to say was hard. Josh felt the anger pulse through his veins; not only had Tyler lied, but he was _still_ reluctant to tell Josh anything that would even constitute to the truth.

“My name is Tyler Robert Joseph,” He whispered, turning to look Josh in the eyes, his own no longer red, but their usual brown. “Heir of the Joseph family, prince of fire and… and magic. Mischief, as my mother always used to say.”

“Prince of mischief and _lies!_ ” Josh growled, shaking his head. At this point Josh could care less about who Tyler’s relatives were, royal or not. “Why didn't you tell me?”

And at that, Tyler smiled.

He smiled, grin making his dimples pop and his eyes crinkle as he shrugged.

“You’re the only person who wasn't scared of me,” Tyler remembered, all those years ago, when Josh had found him crying. “Who didn't treat me differently. Who… Who cared about me.”

“So you repaid me by lying and betraying my trust.” Josh nodded, having heard enough. “I see.”

Josh turned to leave, the air around them turning cold.

Tyler grabbed his hand, pulling him back.

“You never asked me who I was, J. You have to understand, where I come from it’s not known for people to brush me into the category of _normal_.” Tyler tried to explain, voice raising in desperation. “You made me feel normal. How could I let that go and ruin it by telling you I’m a _prince_.”

Tyler spits out the word like he hates the association he has to it.

“Boo-hoo, must be fucking hard having money and being adored.” Josh snorted, making his hand cold enough to have Tyler flinch away from him and drop his hand.

“You have no idea.” Tyler’s voice cracked and Josh felt his anger dissolving. Tyler seemed distraught, like he never anticipated the outcome of Josh finding out and questioning him happening.

“Sorry, your highness. As you know, I grew up in a house that _lacked_ money. Still do.” Josh snarked, earning a wince from the other boy.

“Don't… please don't treat me like that,” Tyler pleaded, eyes shining. “Not you. I’m not… I’m not a prince with you. I’m just Tyler.”

“Where’s your grandma?” Josh changes the subject, the house suddenly feeling too empty and constricting.

“I don't have one.” Tyler answered bluntly, his eyes turning red and a hologram of his grandmother appeared next to him before she disappeared again. “Magic.”

“Using your powers to create an illusion,” If Josh weren't so angry, he’d be impressed. “But I've spoken to her.”

“All me.” Tyler said, waving a hand at the house they’re in. “I’m currently in hiding. I killed someone right before we first met and my parents banished me here.”

“I don't understand.” Josh said slowly, fingers stilling at his sides.

Tyler didn't seem like the murdering type, no matter what the situation was. He was always so shy, so sweet whenever he was spoken to that the thought of him hurting anyone baffled Josh more than he cared to admit.

“I couldn't control the flames and the magic very well back then, so I lost control and someone had the unfortunate luck of being with me at the time. My parents were smart because what better place to send their outlawed son than Columbus fucking Ohio?” Tyler smiled cruelly, crossing his arms and not going further into detail.

The bitterness in Tyler's voice contradicted the entire sentence, but Josh brushed it off. He knew who Tyler Joseph was, it was hard for anyone not to.

So Josh nodded, stepping forward. “Yes, I remember the stories that came out about you. The reward to whoever turned you in.”

“You can still turn me in if it’ll make you feel better. Lord knows I deserve it.” Tyler sighed, sitting down in the nearest chair and looked up at him with tired eyes. “You could also use the money.”

Josh started, his eyes widening at the mere suggestion. No matter how angry he was, he would never be able to do that. His anger would pass, it wasn’t as though he can permanently stay mad at the boy in front of him. Besides, Tyler looked as though he was ready to die, like he’s accepted that his death was coming and Josh just wouldn't have that, not while he was still breathing.

“ _No_ ,” He answered firmly, and Tyler raised an eyebrow. “You’re my best friend.”

“Yeah?” Tyler held out a hand, reaching for Josh as a smile tugged at his lips.

Josh grabbed his hand tightly between his own fingers, afraid Tyler would slip away if he wasn't careful.

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

Tyler ends up kissing Josh by accident when they're 21.

There had been a raid in a store nearby and Josh was well acquainted with the owner, Sarah, and he knew damn well she couldn't protect herself against an attacker. Naturally, with this information in mind, he raced down there as soon as he heard the gossip and tried to take matters into his own hands, only to be significantly outnumbered.

He knocked out one of the raiders trying to get to Sarah with a large piece of ice, the cold wind taking over the store as he shouted at her to leave, to get somewhere safe while he created the diversion, promising her he’d be fine. With one final worried glance at him, she turned and ran to the exit at the back of the store, making the 3 other attackers furious.

Only now they didn't have anyone to take it out on except Josh.

Josh tried to defend himself against them, using his ice manipulation skills the best he could, but being outnumbered didn't help his case one bit. There’s only so much he could do against 3 other people with powers and he took the beating as best as he could, gasping for breath with every kick to his gut and trying not to wince and cry out with every punch landed on him. He felt sharp zaps and stings against his body and hated that one of them had electricity on their side.

All he could think—all he was _sure_ of—was that this, him being in this position, was better than what would have happened to Sarah.

He braces himself for another hit, trembling helplessly on the ground, but they seem to have stopped, the continuous pain not reaching him. Cautiously, he opened his eyes, only to see all three thugs with their hands up in the air, looking defenceless and scared out of their minds.

“Hey, man, put that thing away.” One of them was saying through the ringing in Josh’s ears. He shook his head to clear it.

“Get away from him,” Tyler’s voice. That’s definitely Tyler. “ _Now_.”

The thugs all but ran out of the store, throwing each other in front of the other in fear, not caring if any of them die.

Josh turned his head, holding back a wheeze of pain to see Tyler, a gun in his hands, watching them go with a look of pure hatred on his face, eyes blinking red. If Josh hadn't known who he was, he’d have been terrified of him and ran out of there, too. It's not everyday you see someone with red eyes looking at you with murder on their face after all.

He was about to ask Tyler where in God’s name he’d managed to get himself a gun from, to lighten the mood around them, only to watch it vanish completely from sight.

Ah, magic.

Josh felt his lips pull in amusement because obviously, he should have known Tyler would never actually mean to hurt someone intentionally. Tyler dropped down next to him, his eyes back to their usual warm brown colour and started checking his injuries carefully, the featherlight touches against his body making Josh’s mouth part in surprise.

“What were you _thinking_ , Josh?” Tyler was saying, voice hoarse and cracking with all the pent up worry. “They would have killed you if I didn't show up. You complete _idiot_.”

Tyler helped Josh up, slinging Josh’s arm around his neck and wrapping his own around Josh’s waist as support.

“I know what I did, flame prince.” Josh answered dryly through gritted teeth, not expecting Tyler’s fingers to curl into his shirt and push him up against the wall, forgetting all about the arm around him and dropping it to pull him closer.

Josh only had a second to groan at the slight pain that shot up his spine before a warm, wet mouth was being pressed against his roughly and he forgot all about it. The surprise didn't last long, Josh’s eyes slipping shut while his own shaking fingers gripped onto Tyler like his life depended on it. He returned the kiss just as eagerly, heated and full of all the built up sentiments and emotions he’d been trying to hide for so long.

Tyler's tongue swiped against his bottom lip, making Josh break apart from him, pushing at Tyler’s chest lightly, a glare on his face. “Don’t call me an idiot again. You had no right to step in, this was my fight. I chose to do this.”

They both breathed heavily before Tyler leaned down to catch Josh in another breathless kiss, Josh’s wince when Tyler bit down on his bleeding lip going unnoticed with the hidden rage burning in both of them.

Josh didn't know when he knew he liked Tyler as more than a friend; he’d liked him for so long that when he finally realized what his feelings were he only felt relief because damn, he wasn't crazy or a freak. Far from it.

What was shocking to him was the fact Tyler was the one kissing him, catching him in kiss after kiss and dizzying the blue haired boy to the point his knees began to buckle beneath him. With the way they always acted together, Josh would have never thought Tyler would ever be the one to have been hiding his feelings, keeping them locked away until now.

Although, the voice at the back of his mind reminded, he did hide his entire identity once upon a time. Hiding feelings would be a piece of cake for him compared to that.

When Tyler pulled away, licking his already wet lips, bruised and a shade that made Josh want to kiss him over and over again, he looked over Josh’s face, doe eyes easing from their narrowed and disapproving state and into one of concern. He lifted the hand gripping Josh’s shirt up until he was gently caressing the cuts and bruises beginning to form on Josh’s face, the blood staining his fingers.

Josh felt as though he was experiencing something special, something that would start a new beginning for the both of them when he closed his eyes, swaying slightly on his feet. After all the days and nights he had dreamed about this happening, this was not how he expected it to go, though he couldn't complain. He’d always known that Tyler would be his undoing.

Letting out a shuddering breath at the damage done to Josh, Tyler trailed his hand softly along his jaw, down his neck until it was placed on Josh's chest, right above his heart. Josh is sure he could feel it racing beneath his steady fingers.

“I have every right to protect what’s _mine_.”

Josh’s breath hitched, his face burning enough to make him think that he was the one with fire powers instead of ice, not Tyler.

And it’s when Josh slowly starts to fall in love with Tyler _by accident_ that the real story begins.


	2. I've been around

Josh was silently patrolling the outskirts of the area with his partner, Brendon, when he comes to the conclusion that no one would attempt an attack today.

He would have liked to be alone on days like today, to have the time to think by himself, but no one is allowed to go out this far alone, powers or not. It’s a safety precaution for all the army folks trying to help out and be a part of the ‘better cause’ without getting themselves killed.

His first clue should have been the fact that it’s bright out, the sun beaming down on them so harshly Josh is sure his face is red; the unfortunate result of him burning. Josh could feel the sweat trickling slowly down his neck, the quiet itching at his skin that something felt off, but he couldn't quite place what. Any attacks on the city mostly happen on cloudy, drought filled days (which happen more often than not) or at night, where the element of surprise was on the Rebellions side.

Usually Brendon was a chatterbox too, talking Josh’s ear off until he threatened to kill him himself, but when they’re out trying to make sure no one gets hurt like now, he’s as silent as a mouse. It’s a weird contrast to Brendon’s character, but Josh is grateful that he has such a stealthy and reliable partner when it comes down to it.

It would definitely suck if he died because his partner was an incompetent idiot.

Brendon has the power to lock onto any target and never miss his shot. He’d discovered it when he was a kid, always tossing things into garbage cans from distances he shouldn't have been able to reach and never missing. His power comes in handy a lot more often as of late, especially when their enemies are far away trying to snipe and take down innocent bystanders, unaware of anything. The rebels never see what hits them before they're dead and lying lifeless on the ground.

Josh hated the weight of his gun in his hands, or holster, or even strapped to his back sometimes when he goes on risky missions. He hated the amount of knives he had hidden on him, just in case, always _just in case_ , since he was against using his power. He hated it more than anyone knew, but he would never dare say anything against it. He valued his life and who he’s become since the war started too much. He’s not the same frightened kid who let people attack him anymore; now he attacks back without feeling bad or remorseful.

Besides, people see him as some sort of hero now. Some brave man who didn't cower in the face of vengeance and chaos and somewhat helped save the city of Los Angeles.

Nobody knew the truth. Josh refused to share it.

With a tired sigh, he glanced at Brendon, whose eyes were narrowed and observing the road ahead of them for any signs of irregular activity. Josh doesn't know when this became his life, but it’s been like this for so long he’s not sure if he remembers how to be anyone else other than Josh the Hero. Josh the Fighter. Josh the Heir Killer.

He shuddered, attempting to clear his head. “I don't think there’s anyone around right now.”

“No,” Brendon said slowly, lowering his gun. “I don't think so either.”

“Should we head back to the checkpoint?” Josh placed his gun back in his thigh holster. He felt Brendon pat his shoulder companionably.

“Yeah. You should go home, Josh. Get some rest.” Brendon didn't remove his hand when Josh straightened out, looking him straight in the eyes. “You’re going to burnout if you don't, no pun intended. It’s been, what? 6 days of you working day and night watch?”

“I’m fine.” Josh assured him, poker face in check.

“No, man, you’re not. Who are you trying to fool?” Brendon let him go with a shake of his head, walking forward.

Josh followed him easily. “I’m not trying to fool anyone. I’m fine, as always.”

“You keep telling yourself that, but I don't believe your bullshit for a second.” Brendon paused, kicking a rock in his trek. “You’re avoiding it. Your house.”

Josh doesn't say anything for a while.

Brendon knew him, could read him like a book at this point. Not because they've known each other long or because they're best friends or anything stupid like that; it’s because when you think you're going to die at any time of the day, you tend to talk to the person with you.

That person was Brendon.

And Brendon knew that his house wasn't his home, hasn't been since he lost Tyler.

In fact, Brendon knew things about Josh that he only ever told Tyler, God, what he wouldn't do to rewind all of this and try to stop it, to try and reason with the other boy instead of having everything blow out of proportion.

Nobody knew about him and Tyler but his family. Brendon only knew about the fact someone he loved left him and now his home was more of a relic that brought back unwanted memories and nightmares whenever he was around it.

“So what if I am?” Josh mused, his heart contradicting the calmness of his voice. “Doesn't really matter. I could avoid it forever if I wanted to.”

“I’m saying this as your friend, so listen closely,” Brendon starts, holding up a hand in defence. “You need to get over it.”

Josh laughed almost mockingly, the quick, humourless sound passing his lips and leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Yeah, I do.”

“I’m serious. You need to get laid or something, man.” Brendon said, making Josh roll his eyes.

“Oh, that will definitely make me feel better.” Josh replied in a cheerful tone. “Thanks, Brendon!”

“Dude, are you a virgin?” Brendon whispered suddenly, looking around cautiously before looking back at Josh whose cheeks had turned a light shade of pink.

“I'm 25, what do you think?” Josh spluttered, eyes wide and face hot with embarrassment.

“I’m just curious, sorry for asking.” Brendon grinned, knocking Josh’s shoulder with his own. “Sometimes being with Sarah really helps me relax if you get what I’m saying.”

Josh groaned in reply, Brendon’s laugh practically piercing his ears.

Brendon’s girlfriend, Sarah, was one of the nicest people Josh had ever met. In fact, Sarah owned a store back in Columbus a few years back and Josh had helped her escape it during a raid. She’d sold it now, having been too scared to go back, but she still thanked him any chance she got. So did Brendon at this point, getting emotional and telling him he owes him his life when things get too much for him.

In the end, Josh thought it was funny how fate had gotten him to see her again after all the time he spent wondering where she disappeared to when her store closed down. All the sleepless nights he laid awake and wondered if she had died or worse being answered as soon as he moved away from Columbus.

The rest of their walk is spent in silence, their eyes continuing to scan the area for anything out of the ordinary. Maybe it’s the fact that Josh was being relieved from duty, but he suddenly felt the weight of how tired he was come crashing down on him like a goddamn waterfall.

He felt dirty and gross, the grime and sweat and dried blood clinging to his skin uncomfortably. Really, he was in desperate need of a crying session and shower, but he’s so tired he thinks he may pass out the second his head hits his pillow. At this point he just wanted to sleep for a good few hours and then come back to continue working.

See, working means getting to fight and fighting means getting out his anger. He’d never been one to condone violence, he’d always preached to his brother and sisters that violence solved nothing, that attacking others spoke more about your character than theirs even if it was in defence, but now? Now Josh is just so _angry_ at the world, he wanted to punch past-Josh in the face for his old, useless morals.

He accepted the fact he’s probably going to die out here and he doesn’t really care if he worked himself to death either. He wasn’t scared to die; he already thought he was alive too long. He should have died years ago, cursing the healer who saved his life every day.

Once they make it back to their checkpoint and other soldiers are already there waiting to take Josh’s place (or anyone else’s place, really. It’s like leaving work and having someone cover your shift, Josh thought), he still asked Brendon if it was okay for him to go. He doesn't want to leave Brendon and then have something happen to him. He wouldn't be able to live with himself.

“Go _home_. I’m with Dallon, he’s cool.” Brendon walked over to the guy Josh guessed was Dallon and threw an arm across his shoulders as if to emphasize his point. “He can, like, control gravity. I don't think anyone will be able to get passed him _and_ me.”

Josh ignored the sting he felt at that and nodded mutely, turning around without a second glance and walking away to the nearest car around. Someone was always ready to drive soldiers back into town for them to get their rest. Josh bit his lip to stop his frown; it’s okay if Brendon found a partner better suited for him. This was a war after all, it’s not like they were all going to survive it no matter how hard they all hoped.

“One of these days you'll get yourself killed, you self-righteous asshole!” Brendon called to him, having sensed his mood drop as Josh hopped into the front seat of the car.

“I’m counting on it.” Josh muttered more to himself than to his friend. With a nod to the driver, they made their way back to the city in silence, the familiarity of the open road hitting Josh full on.

He hadn't realized how long it’s been since he came back here. Yeah, Brendon assumed it was only a few days, but Josh hasn't gone back in almost two months, finding shelter and staying with other soldiers outside the city.

When they make it back into city territory, everything seems to transform; from the nothingness there was in the outskirts, over here there was people scattered everywhere, talking, laughing, _enjoying_ themselves; there were buildings as far as the eye could see. Truth be said, it was everything Josh never got the chance to see anymore.

A part of him is resentful of all of the people here. Resentful over the fact that they don't know how hard he tries to keep them safe so they could enjoy this lifestyle and how badly he wishes he had never joined the army in the first place. This could have been his life, blissful and filled with ignorance, but he had to have a fucking hero complex and the need to help others.

This is why he does it though, so these oblivious people could have this life of carefree wonder. Of course, they all knew that a war had broken out and the Rebellion comes out to play more often than not, but it’s always at night. Nobody leaves their homes at night unless they have a death wish.

“Thanks.” Josh told the kid driving when he parked the car; he couldn't have been older than 18 and Josh felt a pang of sympathy for him, wanting to say something more, like _good luck out there_ before he thought better of it.

If it was him and someone had told him that, he would have told them to get fucked.

Josh watched the car pull away, his eyes scanning his surroundings and he’s already reminded how badly he despises everything about Los Angeles. Everything here was attached to a memory burned into Josh’s brain and he can't forget them as hard as he fucking wished and tried.

The second he passed by the grocery store he and Tyler always used to shop at, one blossomed without any warning.

It was him, blue hair, grinning at Tyler who was staring back at him wide eyed and innocently sitting in their carriage, having insisted Josh push him around because he was lazy. Tyler had reached out, grabbing a pack of skittles and started explaining the downside of every food group they passed as Josh laughed and laughed before sobering up and asking, almost teasingly, “ _W_ _hy did you want us to move here if you hate all the food, Tyler Joseph?_ ”

People had moved on from trying to turn him in at this point. Nobody knew what he looked like since he was all grown up now and evidently, the addition of tattoos on a member of the royal family was unheard of, so nobody glanced at Tyler twice.

But Tyler had looked up at him, a fire being ignited in his eyes as he smirked, leaning up onto his knees and wrapping his arms around Josh’s neck. Josh’s eyes widened as he steadied the cart so Tyler didn't topple over and make a mess of their groceries, but his heart leaped into his throat in surprise, a question of _what are you doing_ at the tip of his tongue when Tyler leaned in.

Josh instantly closed his eyes, having the idea that Tyler was going to kiss him, say something like _I wanted a new beginning with you_ , like his hopeless romantic fantasies begged, but Tyler missed his lips, his breath fanning over Josh’s ear instead as his arms tightened around his neck.

“ _I wanted… I_ want _to change the world, Joshua Dun. Where else would I do that if not here?_ ”

God, Josh should've known. He should've _known_.

He doesn't speak to anyone as he neared his own home, not really much of a people person anymore. All his extrovert qualities had left him after the royal family gave him a poor excuse of a medal of honour (which he tossed away as soon as he could) and gave a whole speech about how he has the qualities that every warrior should have and that he was an example for others to follow, blah blah blah.

Josh is a fraud, is all, and he can't look these people in the eyes as they thank him repeatedly when he hasn't done anything for them other than what any other man fighting has done. He wasn't special and the fact people knew him by the way he looked was unsettling in itself.

Although, he supposed it was a good thing nobody knew his full name, not even the royal family. It’s a risk to share it nowadays, especially when they could find your family and anyone you care about and use them against you. It’s giving leverage to your enemies and instilling fear into yourself, so no one gives out full names. Besides, in a world where you can hardly trust anyone, it’s common sense to use an alias.

It always comes down to safety precautions.

When Josh had created his, it was out of pure spite and annoyance. He had been buzzed and heartbroken, his relationship beginning to break into a million pieces, and when someone asked who he was, probably to spark up a conversation about how to get him to go home with them, he wasn't having any of it.

He’d rolled his eyes, mouth sarcastically replying, “ _Spooky Jim, capital ‘S’ on ‘Spooky_ ’” before he could stop himself and understand what he’d done.

Needless to say, he kept calling himself that until it grew on him and word got around that that was who he was, especially after the war broke out.

He noticed the familiar edges of his home and didn’t stop walking until he saw the familiar sleek white fur and piercing blue eyes of the husky he supposed he called his own sniffing around the entryway, seemingly looking for something.

“Frostbite,” Josh murmured softly, beckoning the dog toward him with a tilt of his head when it looked up at him. The dog didn’t hesitate to get to his side, leaping up at him without a warning.

Josh dropped down to his knees so that the dog could lay its paws on his shoulders, tongue leaving slobbering kisses all over Josh’s face in a dog's way of saying _I missed you_. It brought a smile to the boys face, a chuckle passing his lips when Frostbite barked, loud and defiant, the echo of it making his ears ring.

“I know I haven't been around much,” Josh pet his white fur, wanting nothing more than to nuzzle his face in it to find some sort of familiar comfort. “I’m sorry.”

Another bark and the dog is sprinting toward his house again, small growls passing his lips as he scratched at the door. Josh eyed him curiously, leaning back up and trying to make sense of what Frostbite wanted. The dog had always been strange, never wanting to enter the house even before all the shit went down, but always being around it, watching it. Josh had this unrealistic vision of Frostbite _protecting_ the house for him while he slept, but it just seemed like such a crazy theory that he never took it seriously.

Then, startling Josh out of his thoughts, the dog whimpered helplessly, looking back at him lopsidedly, like what he wanted was obvious.

“I don’t know what you—” Josh cut himself short when he saw the slightest bit of movement at the edge of his bedroom window. “—Want.”

Josh looked the dog in the eyes one last time before nodding to himself and walking up the steps to his door. The dog stepped aside and as if it was reflex—and at this point it _was_ —Josh pulled out the knife he kept hidden in his boot effortlessly. It was heavy in his palm, and he almost wanted to ignore whoever was in here by leaving, but he turned the knob of his door before he could overthink it.

As expected, it was already unlocked.

Not that Josh never thought about someone breaking into his house before, but at least they could have done it when he was at work and cut him some slack. They could have been smart and locked the door, too, so he could have a reason to ignore them, but no, they had to make his life a bigger inconvenience. If he lost control and killed someone today, well, it wasn't his fault. This person clearly had no consideration for him and how tired he was so whatever.

Fatigue was a man’s worst enemy.

“Stay here.” Josh whispered to Frostbite as he closed the door behind him and locked it. The dog never comes in anyway, so better to corner whoever was in here while he was at it.

Josh brings up the hand holding the knife to his chest defensively, holding the blade outward as he crept up the stairs to his room carefully, cautiously, not wanting to get taken by surprise himself.

The door to his room was wide open, practically inviting him forward, and for a split second Josh had the urge to use his powers instead of the weapon firmly in his hand. He shook his head, banishing the idea and walked forward instead. It’s not that he was scared of who was in there, it's just that using his power was always his backup plan, he reasoned with himself.

Silently creeping along the wall, he peeked into the room to find it completely empty. Josh let out a curse, dropping his hand and walking in quickly, thoroughly examining the room until he felt someone come up behind him. Josh was quicker, twisting around and pushing them against the wall with a snarl, knife held firmly at their throat.

“Nice to see you, too, Josh.” Tyler smirked, tipping his head back to avoid the edge of the blade at Josh’s shocked intake of breath.

“What are you doing here?” Josh managed to get out, pushing the knife flush against the skin of Tyler’s neck.

“Missed you.” Tyler said simply, lifting a hand and pointing to the knife. “Do you mind?”

“Why shouldn't I kill you right now, huh? I should after everything you've done.” Josh felt his voice waver as he spoke, his heart about ready to burst out of his chest.

Tyler rolled his eyes, placing his hand over Josh's and guided the knife away from his throat. “I don't buy it.”

The knife slipped through his fingers as soon as Tyler let go of his hand, falling with a loud clanging sound against the floor. He balled his fists to hide the fact he was shaking, but he knew it would be impossible for Tyler not to have noticed; he was always acutely aware of what was happening around him. Josh took a step back, trying to get far away from him before he did something he’d end up regretting.

“You shouldn't be here.” Josh said weakly, hoping this was a dream. Or nightmare. Either of those would be better than reality.

“Why not?” Tyler questioned, taking the extra step closer to Josh. “It’s my home just as much as it is yours. More so mine, if I’m honest. You haven't been around in a while, I was beginning to think you were dead.”

Josh watched him with a face of pure confusion. “How long have you been here?”

Tyler gave him a look, reaching up and brushing the faded red hair off his forehead. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” Josh rasped, grabbing Tyler’s wrist in his hand, and stopping him. Tyler scoffed.

“Don't flatter yourself, J. I'm a busy man and like I said, I’ve only been visiting to make sure you haven't gotten yourself killed.” Tyler watched Josh drop his hand like he’d been burned. “Sorry, did that hurt your feelings?”

“Leave.”

Josh was looking at the ground when Tyler laughed, that high pitched giggle Josh loved so much and he couldn't help looking back at him, a little entranced. Tyler looked so carefree in his skinny jeans and black tank top, the complete opposite of Josh in his dirt filled pants and partial tactical gear. How could Tyler be so at ease when he should be on the run? Why was he still here when people thought he was dead? Josh looked away when the realization dawned on him that their relationship might be involved in the answer.

“Answer me this, Jishwa, and I’ll leave you be, I promise.” Tyler placed a hand under Josh’s chin, tipping it upward so he’d look at him before dropping it back down to his side. He shrugged, looking almost innocent. “Do you still love me? That's all I want to know.”

Josh took in a breath at the familiar nickname, the one Tyler knew made him feel dizzy with giddiness and filled with a yearning for the other boy, one that he had been feeling since he was 16 at the latest. Josh also knew damn well that Tyler was aware he would always be in love with him and he was only here to rub it in his face. Probably. Seemed the most likely option, anyhow.

As much as he wished his feelings for Tyler would evaporate, he knew they would never go away and that he was stuck being angry at himself and at the world for bringing him and Tyler together in the first place. What business did ice and fire have doing with each other?

God, Josh should've fucking known.

“Why does that even matter?” Josh retaliated, stepping up into Tyler’s personal space. Tyler doesn't seem to mind. “What good would that information do you, Tyler?”

“Answer the question.” Tyler replied lowly, making Josh fight back a shiver. Tyler leaned over, slowly, giving Josh time to pull away before placing a tender, sweet kiss to his lips. It was quick, barely a peck, but Josh felt his entire body light on fire.

“You know I do,” Josh breathed, closing his eyes for a quick millisecond when Tyler hummed his agreement that yes, he did know. “Tyler, you know I would die for you. Don’t pretend like you don't. It’s insulting.”

"Die for me?" Tyler echoed, pulling away enough for Josh to see his eyes widening in surprise before he's letting out an airy laugh. "Oh no, Josh, I don't want you to die for me. That's the last thing I'd ever want."

Josh gave him a doubtful look because why else would he have started all this? Started this conversation? Obviously it was to see if Josh’s loyalty to him ran that deep and God help him, it does. Tyler clutched his hands in his own, his eyes glowing red for such a quick second Josh must have imagined it.

"I want you to live for me, kill and bleed for me, find a purpose for yourself beyond what we knew so long ago," Tyler placed a hand onto Josh's dirty cheek, locking Josh’s eyes with his own as he smiled. "And would you look at that? You already have."

Josh felt himself nodding and Tyler's smile dropped off his face, his expression turning serious.

"I don't want you to die for me." Tyler repeated, firmer. "Not you. Anybody but you."

“You started a war,” Josh argued, pulling away from him, a little breathless at the confession. “How do you honestly expect me to live for you when any of your goons could kill me?”

"No, I started a rebellion against the royal family because they're unfit rulers." Tyler corrected, walking backwards towards Josh’s bed until he was plopping down on it, looking unimpressed and bored with where the conversation was headed. “There’s a huge difference and you're just caught in the crossfire of the situation.”

“Tyler, they're your family.”

“They’re no more my family than the fucking bystanders in the street.” Tyler spat, shooting up to his feet. “Don’t you dare say otherwise. _Your_ family didn't exile you and leave you for dead. _Your_ family didn't hire people to kill you when you were just a child. _Your_ —”

Josh couldn't help it when he ducked his head down to hide his smile. The laugh was bubbling in his throat, interrupting Tyler’s monologue and when he felt Tyler’s irritation floating throughout the room, he shook his head.

“Last I checked,” Josh started, after Tyler fell silent and glared at him, his smile still on his face. “My family hates me, too. And you know why?”

“It’s not the same.” Tyler growled.

“Because I told them I was in love with an outlaw, one that goes by the name Tyler Joseph.” Josh continued, waving his hands around mockingly and ignoring Tyler’s comment. He narrowed his eyes, his nostrils flaring. “So don't tell me I don't understand what it’s like to have my family hate me. I do. I agreed to move away from home, from _them_ , because they threatened to find you and kill you. The difference between you and I is that I’m not crazy enough to—to start _this shit_.”

Josh pointed out the window to reference the war, his heart pounding with how angry he was. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

Tyler stalked up to him until they were chest to chest, staring each other down. “The difference between you and I is that I go after what I want and I do it without failing. You’re too scared to do anything that requires consequences for others.”

“Oh yeah, killing innocent people is a normal goal to have. I aspire to be like you, Tyler.” Josh answered, sarcasm dripping off every word like honey as he shook his head, pushing roughly at Tyler’s chest to get him away from him.

“Those ‘innocent people’ chose the wrong side.” Tyler used air quotes while raising his voice, the frustration in it pulling at Josh’s reflex to comfort him. _No_. “I didn't force any of these people into anything, Josh. They _chose_ to follow me and to join the Rebellion. I’m not the only one who hates the royal family, but I _am_ the only one who was willing to do something about it.”

“Why did you come here?” Josh sighed, his shoulders sagging with how tired he was. “Why couldn't you just… stay away?”

“Does me being here bother you that much?” Tyler crossed his arms, face crestfallen.

“They think I killed you, Tyler.” Josh’s voice cracked, his breath coming out shallow. “Do you have any goddamn idea how hard it is for me, when people congratulate me for that? For killing Blurryface, the infamous rebellion leader?”

“Baby,” Tyler grabbed Josh’s face in his hands gently, leaning their foreheads together. Josh’s vision of Tyler's face blurred, smudging. “You didn't. I’m right here.”

“They don't know that,” Josh whispered, his voice hoarse. “And the idea—the fact that I was the one to kill you in their heads…”

Tyler kissed him; it shouldn't surprise Josh since he was always the first one to make the move and captivate Josh in the process. Josh melted against him, letting every one of his worries disappear to the back of his mind as he kissed Tyler back. He doesn't care that this is wrong, that they coudn't do this anymore without Josh feeling like some sort of traitor. He doesn't care that Tyler had left him alone, without warning, only to pop back in again now when Josh thought he was starting to get over him.

He doesn't care because when Tyler guided him back to their bed, the one they cuddled in, laughed in, made love in, did _everything_ in countless times before Tyler left, Josh felt the ice he’d been surrounding his heart in thaw. Tyler doesn't break their kiss as he moved to straddle his hips, Josh's body lying horizontally on the bed, slightly uncomfortable with his gear still on.

“Tyler…” Josh groaned, arching his back when Tyler started kissing down his neck. The fleeting _oh shit, I need to shower_ thought disappearing when teeth scraped against his throat, nipping, teasing, sucking.

“It scares you,” Tyler whispered against his skin, placing a chaste kiss at the hollow of his throat where a bruise was sure to form. “The Rebellion.”

Josh watched Tyler lean back, the light coming in from outside surrounding his frame and making him look more like an angel than the demon everyone made him out to be. “I just want things to go back to normal.”

“We are not normal.” Tyler purred, twirling a piece of Josh’s red hair between his finger. “We don't have to fight.”

Fingers tugged at his hair, pulling his head back and making his mouth part in surprise. Tyler knew what he liked, knew all his kinks and ways of getting him to agree to everything he said.

Lucky for Josh, he wasn't the same boy he used to be.

“We could be together, fighting for the same cause,” Tyler went on, hopeful. “Join the Rebellion and let’s stop dancing around each other, huh? It’s pathetic. I miss you, Josh. So much.”

Their lips met again, Tyler’s tongue pushing its way into his mouth while his hand tugged at Josh’s hair harder, pulling a soft moan out of him. Josh felt his arms raise, clinging to Tyler’s back, and holding him against him for just a little longer because he didn't know how long this would last; he didn't want their little moment to end and he was willing to hide away in this house forever if it was what it took to keep Tyler with him without any violence being involved.

Tyler pulled back, lips wet and breath hot against Josh’s face as he looked at him with lidded eyes and Josh loved him, he loved him _so bad_ , it hurt. He closed his eyes, trying to burn the image of Tyler into the backs of his eyelids so he’d never forget him while Tyler’s hands wandered down his chest, over the inches of Josh’s thighs he could reach. No matter how many times he’s been in this position, he would never get enough, or get used to the thrill of it.

The second Josh felt Tyler’s lips against the shell of his ear, he tensed up and held his breath in anticipation.

“I want you, Josh,” Tyler exhaled, fingers working at Josh’s tactical vest. “I want you with me, not against me.”

The wound that never healed in Josh’s heart suddenly opened; if someone were to take x-ray shots right now they’d find a tear in his heart physically forming again, he’s sure. A gasp left Josh’s lips in agony of what couldn't be, of what _they_ couldn't be, without any antiseptic in sight to ease the pain of his broken heart.

“I can’t.”

Tyler froze, stilling completely on top of him. Josh wasn't the same as he used to be and neither was Tyler. Both of them were changed people, fighting for what they thought was right, but not agreeing with one another no matter how hard they attempted to come up with a compromise. Josh wouldn't change his stance on following a movement that promoted mindless murder because he was in love.

“I _won’t_.” Josh uttered more forcefully, his words coming out in a growl.

Time seemed to stop around them, and Josh was too afraid of opening his eyes and seeing the disappointment on his lovers face at his defiance of being together. He doesn't know how long he waits for Tyler’s reply, the seconds feeling more like hours in his head; he wished things could be different as he waited for the soft voice above him to speak.

He wished he and Tyler never left Columbus and he wished they’d never learned what it felt like to be loved by one another. He wished he could take it all back, to erase how well he knew Tyler and how well Tyler knew him and how his body reacted to him. Better yet, he wished he and Tyler never met at all and that Josh never walked up to him, naive and young and unknowing of what he was getting himself into.

When Tyler finally replied, in a voice he’d never understand could hold such malicious intent, Josh’s heart shattered all over again, the tear deepening. Tyler said some of the simplest words in the english language and yet Josh couldn't find his breath, almost choking on air in his haste to understand Tyler’s motives in even visiting him.

“I know.” Tyler spoke so clearly, so simply, like it was a truth he should have accepted a long time ago.

Josh opened his mouth, desperate to find the right words, but before he had the chance to say anything that would diffuse the situation and bring back the trust the two had with the other, Tyler’s weight on top of him vanished. Snapping his eyes open and jumping to his feet, Josh looked around distressed, a scream lodged in his throat, only to be met with the four walls of his bedroom with Tyler nowhere in sight.

“Tyler?” Josh breathed out and when no response came, shouted, “Tyler!”

A hand lifted to tug at his hair in frustration, leaving his room to look around the house in the hopes that the other boy would be lounging about, waiting for Josh to find him again like this was some sort of game of hide and seek.

“Fuck you!” Josh kicked at the empty chair in the kitchen when he'd scanned the whole house, watching it hit the wall. “Goddamn it, not again!”

Not only had he lost Tyler for the second time, but this time it was entirely his fault. There was no erasing his words, his way of pledging his allegiance to the royal family's side now. Who’s to say Tyler won't try to kill him next time they see each other? Josh knew he doesn't have it in him, he could barely hold a knife to Tyler’s throat without feeling like he may be sick.

“Oh, god.” Josh leaned against the wall, breathing in deeply and trying to control his rising panic.

Without thinking, he bounded up the stairs, and went to the bathroom, turning on the shower and putting the setting as hot as it could go with shaking hands. He started undressing, slipping out of his tactical gear mechanically and tossing all of it back into the hallway before looking at himself in the mirror; he doesn't even recognize who the hell he is.

The boy in front of him wasn't him; he wasn't who he remembered seeing last time he was here. This boy looked _tired_ , the circles under his eyes so prominent against his far too sharp cheekbones. His mouth was set in a frown, his hair faded and longer than he'd ever seen it. At the sight of his protruding ribs, counting each one so easily, he felt his head begin to spin.

When was the last time he ate something? Did he eat at all today? When was the last time he genuinely smiled and felt happy? When was the last time he felt okay?

Steam covered up his reflection, his hand itching to wipe at the mirror to continue criticizing who he’s become, but instead he just blinked numbly. He stared at the condensation running down the mirror for a minute longer before he turned and hopped into the shower, barely flinching at the scorching water hitting his skin.

Feeling pain was good; it meant he was still alive.

He doesn't hesitate to grab the barely used bar of soap, scrubbing it along his body roughly, begging for the dirt and blood to leave his skin, to make him clean again. Josh doesn't care when he watched his pale skin turn red, he doesn't care when it started peeling at his constant rubbing.

No amount of scrubbing will ever erase the amount of blood on Josh's hands.

In the confines of his shower, Josh let himself cry.


	3. Tomorrow I'll keep a beat and repeat yesterday's dance

To say that Josh wouldn't see Tyler for a long, long time after their last encounter is an understatement. He’s surprised, to say the least; he half expected Tyler to kill him in his sleep.

Time unexpectedly turned out to be on Josh’s side, however, because with each passing month with no show from Tyler, he got angrier and angrier. How _dare_ he come back just to leave again?

When months turned to a year, Josh decided once and for all that he’d be the one to kill him. He couldn't tell anyone of course, since everyone already thought Tyler was dead, but he kept it safe in his mind. If he had one goal with all of this, it was to put an end to Tyler’s life and bring himself solace. In some ways he thinks this is exactly what Tyler wanted, though he doesn't let himself think too deep into it or dwell on it.

It was something that just needed to be done, by him, to let him get the closure he desperately needed.

He wasn't a toy that Tyler can just come play with when he was bored. And to think that that’s the same man that had admitted that he loved him time and time again seemed so absurd now; it was probably another one of Tyler’s stupid lies to get into Josh’s head.

Not anymore.

Josh fights, and he kills, and he bleeds, and he cries. God, does he cry. Whenever he goes home, he hugs his dog—who's always waiting for him, as if he knew he was coming—and cries. He doesn't care who sees him, let them talk. Let them call him a pathetic excuse for a _warrior_ , he doesn't fucking care because they don't know fuck all about him, or his life.

He’s fine—until Tyler reappeared in not just his, but everyone’s lives.

The Rebellion had started broadcasting news, their hackers doing their jobs and hijacking shows to show Tyler preaching about their cause. It didn't take a genius to learn that he was real—very much not dead—and the face of the Rebellion again. Josh knew he’d never left, always working behind the scenes, but at least now he could announce how badly he hated Tyler Joseph without sounding like a lunatic.

“You all may have thought I was dead,” Tyler said during the first broadcast of him that they had showed. He’d been smirking, sitting in a huge luxurious chair like he was some sort of king, which seemed ironic in its own right while the wall behind him was pitch black. “But as it turns out, your beloved  _prince slayer_ failed in his tasks.”

Tyler straightened up then, looking straight at the camera. “For those of you who don't know, my name is Tyler Joseph, formerly known as Blurryface. I’m not going to waste your time with false pretenses and analogies; the whole point of this is to educate you all on facts. If you all took a second and opened your eyes to the harsh reality, _our_ reality, you’d all see that our society is afraid. You guys are afraid of change, I get that, and when people like me come out and fuck up the routine of things, shifting it out of proportion, it scares you.” Tyler got up, narrowing his eyes. “But you all need to learn and understand that there is a group of people—a family—that's playing God without permission.”

Tyler laughed, shaking his head in disbelief. “And you’re all afraid of _them_. Tell me, have any of you ever seen them outside their precious castle that they hide behind? The royal family lives in a fucking fantasy world, ruling a kingdom and instilling fear in their citizens from the safety of their rooms.” Tyler licked his lips, one corner of his mouth lifting smugly as he clapped his hands slowly in a mocking display of satisfaction. “Well done, Joseph's. You are all truly doing a great job.”

All traces of humour vanished from Tyler’s face. “Except that, I’m pissed off. I’m pissed off that you took away the freedom for anyone to choose; you took their free will away, punishing anybody who disagrees with your laws with death. Seriously, am I the only one who thinks that’s ridiculous?” Tyler glanced around exaggeratedly, as if someone was going to answer him. He looked back at the camera with a sigh, biting down on his lower lip in thought, a few more seconds passing before releasing it with a nod.

“You're all living in a kingdom of bullshit, my friends. A kingdom that, quite frankly, we’ve all lived in for far too long. Join the Rebellion, fight with me for a cause much greater than taking away something that should be rightfully given.” Tyler moved closer to the camera, eyes flashing red as if he were stalking his prey. “Oh, and by the way, if there's anyone you all should be afraid of, dear people, _it’s me_.”

And the video had cut off, outrage breaking out in the same exact second at the bar Josh had been sitting in. There’d been plenty more in the coming months, attacking the royal family for the way they ruled and people looked at Josh with reluctance rather than pride now, though he didn't take it to heart, never having cared about what people thought of him anyway. 

To Josh’s surprise, the Rebellion had grew, so many people agreeing with Tyler and his words, but Josh kept his beliefs firm.

Innocent people didn't deserve to die.

Josh was patrolling with Brendon, keeping an eye out for the rebels. The two had been different ever since the first broadcast, Brendon’s usually calm face turning into a sneer whenever they saw each other. Josh had never asked him what his problem was all of a sudden, a weak attempt of being above the trouble he usually caused.

Brendon glared ahead, eyes focused on the abandoned buildings and roads. “Where the hell is everyone? I feel like there should be more rebels around, considering they've tripled in size since those stupid fucking broadcasts.”

“I don’t know,” Josh admitted, looking behind Brendon, cautious as ever. He’d always have his six, no matter the situation. “Maybe they join the Rebellion, but they’re too scared to actually fight.”

“They're all fucking cowards,” Brendon said in a near growl. Josh almost winced, the way Brendon was looking at him suggesting he was talking to _him_.

Josh opened his mouth to ask him what the fuck he meant by that, but they heard a glass bottle break in the building they passed all too sudden, as if it'd been knocked over by accident. He locked eyes with Brendon, who nodded and whispered a low _finally_ , drawing his knife from his pocket in a smooth, effortless tug. Josh does the same, lifting his hand up for Brendon to see him counting to three on his fingers. On three, Brendon opened the door, walking in with his blade held high and despite Josh’s nerves, he couldn’t help but feel a certain peace since he hadn't done this in so long. Brendon waved Josh in when he saw nothing, looking around the room suspiciously before he silently motioned for him to check upstairs while he checked the basement.

It’s eerily quiet as he walked up the creaky wooden steps, his eyes narrowed. He hadn't fought anyone in a few days, the rebels having vanished from their old base—since they'd found it and were planning an attack—so Josh was itching to fight and maim whoever was here.

A tiny part of him hoped it was Tyler; he would reenact their last meeting, only this time he’d cut Tyler’s throat right through.

 _You keep saying that_ , the voice inside his head taunted, _but when it comes down to it, you’d never be able to._

He shook his head, clearing the thought when he reached the top floor, old paintings—canvases—scattered all over the floor, as if the artist had had enough of them. He sees one canvas plastered with red and black strokes, the angry lines catching his attention a second too long before there's a scared squeak behind him and an unwanted weight suddenly on his back.

“What the fu—” Josh started, the breath of the person above him fanning his ear uncomfortably and Josh couldn't help the grimace on his face in disgust.

Josh grabbed the arm around his neck, pivoting his hips forward and throwing the body across him at the wall with all the strength he could muster up. The person hits the wall with a loud thud, their body falling to the ground like a rag doll being played with. Josh tightened his grip on his knife as he approached, the body just laying there and this can't be right, it was way too easy.

Then he heard sniffling, a sob being muffled into the fabric of the person’s ripped black t-shirt and Josh raised an eyebrow, a little confused. Of course he’d seen people cry while he fought, it’s not new, but this person wasn't even putting up a fight. It’s odd and a little concerning.

It’s only when the person lifted his head and peeked over at Josh with light brown eyes, tears smothered on his cheeks, that Josh’s heart clenched because this was a _kid_.

Josh lowered his knife right away, leaning down next to him. “Shit, kid, are you okay?”

“Are you going to kill me?” The kid sobbed, covering his mouth as soon as the sound left him. “Please don’t, I didn't mean to attack you, I was just so scared, sir, you have to understand.”

Josh looked at him with sympathy blossoming in his chest. God, he was going to kill a kid without knowing it.

“Hey, hey, sh—kid, it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. You're okay.” Josh tried to soothe, running a hand through his blonde hair in his attempt. “You’re fine.”

The kid just continued crying and it hits Josh that he has to ask this kid the basic protocol question. This was fucked up.

“Are you part of the Rebellion?” Josh asked, his stomach dropping as the words leave his mouth. _So_ fucked up. “No one should be out here.”

The kid looked up alarmed, not hesitating now as he pushed Josh’s hand away. “I’m—I don't have to answer to _you_.”

“Hey, watch it, kid.” Josh glared, though he’s internally smiling. The kid had heart after all. “I’m asking a simple question.”

“My family is,” The kid narrowed his eyes at him. “Will you kill me now? And them?”

Josh paused, getting back up slowly, not taking his eyes off him. Realistically, he should. It’s what he was supposed to do, but he doesn't even know what these people are like or if they were actively a part of the Rebellion or not. He can't and he won't kill innocent people.

Josh offered the kid his hand.

“No.” Josh told him honestly, and the kid took it. “What’s your name?”

“Mikey.”

“Okay, well, _Mikey_ , I’m going to bring you downstairs and you're going to go back to your family and never come back here. Got it?” Josh dusted off Mikey’s shoulders in a dramatic way, trying to lighten up the situation.

“You'll just follow me and kill them.” Mikey said, biting his lip at his outburst. Josh gave him credit; he was a loyal kid.

“I promise I won't.” Josh crossed his heart for emphasis. Mikey studied him for a second, trying to size him up, probably, before he nodded and Josh led them down the stairs where Brendon was waiting for him. At the sight of the kid, his neutral face turned into one of alarm and he drew his knife in protection, just in case.

“Josh, what the hell?” Brendon said, looking between the two of them.

“Hey, dude, put that shit away.” Josh hissed, pushing Mikey behind him and covering him with his body. “It’s a fucking kid. Chill.”

“Is he a part of the Rebellion?” Brendon snapped, gesturing the knife behind Josh. “Kids are the perfect spies, you idiot.”

“Not this one,” Josh lied, not thinking twice about what kind of consequences he just disregarded, and he felt Mikey stiffen behind him. “Get out of the way.”

Brendon regarded him with an expression Josh couldn’t read, but it didn't stop him from grabbing Mikey’s arm and moving around him to the door. Brendon didn't drop the knife, but to his credit he didn't make a move to attack them either, so Josh allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief when they made it outside.

“You lied for me,” Mikey murmured lowly, and Josh smiled down at him, patting his shoulder.

“I promised, dude.” Josh waved toward the road. “Be careful. Get back to your family safely and stay out of trouble.”

Miley nodded quickly, his blonde hair falling onto his forehead. “I owe you my life, sir.”

“Josh, kid.” Josh told him, shaking his head. “You don't owe me anything, alright? Just get home for me.”

Mikey nodded again, looking up at him cooly, and next thing Josh knew he was being hugged around the waist. This was so awkward, what is he supposed to do? He lifted a hand and pat his head, tentatively, like he did with his dog and tried not to push him away like he desperately wanted to. Then the kid lets him go, running down the road as quickly as the hug had started and ended, Josh watching him until his silhouette was out of sight.

He really fucking hoped he would get home alright.

When he walked back into the building to get Brendon, the other boy is already grabbing him by the neck and pinning him to the wall. Josh’s eyes widened, Brendon’s fingers curling tighter, cutting off his air supply and he’s honestly so lost with what the hell is happening, but he'll be damned if he died this way.

Josh kneed Brendon in the groin, the boy doubling over with a yelled curse and immediately letting go of Josh who gasped for air. Josh doesn't waste time though, grabbing Brendon and throwing him to the ground. He follows him down, knees landing on either side of his hips as he kept him there.

“What is your _damage?_ ” Josh growled, finally asking the question he’s had for months.

“You’re working with him, aren't you?” Brendon spat back, thrashing around in an attempt to get Josh off of him. “You’re a part of it.”

“Part of what? With who?” Josh asked, pressing down on Brendon’s chest impatiently.

“ _Tyler Joseph!_ ”

Josh’s eyes widened, heart jumping to his throat. He never thought he’d ever have someone label him a traitor, especially not his partner.

Brendon continued on, “You didn't kill him, and you let everyone believe you did. You hesitate every time his name is mentioned and now you’re letting rebellion members go? The fuck, Josh?”

“You… you think I’m a part of a rebel alliance or something?” Josh whispered through numb lips, easing his weight off of Brendon.

“Damn fucking right I do, unless you can explain your shady behaviour. I have half a mind to report this to the general and have you court-martialed.” Brendon sneered, pushing Josh off of him. Josh sat on the ground beside him without much of a fight, his hand rubbing at his face wearily.

“I’m not in a rebel alliance, Brendon.” Josh’s voice wavered slightly. He took a deep breath, the next part coming out tightly, “Tyler Joseph is my ex-boyfriend.”

Brendon gaped at him, obviously not expecting that to be Josh's answer. An unspoken question settled in the air, so Josh spilled everything. From the very first time he met Tyler, to how he found out who he was; how Josh started to fall for him so foolishly; the time he saved his life after he had saved Sarah’s and how they had moved to LA together to get away from Josh’s family. Brendon didn't interrupt once, or give Josh comfort when he got choked up, but somehow, that felt more sincere than if he had.

When Josh was done speaking, they stayed sitting in silence for a while, the air dissolving of the earlier tension with each passing minute, up until Brendon got up and cleared his throat to get Josh’s attention.

Josh looked up at him, eyes wide and pathetically hopeful that he’d proven his case enough that his friend could understand his circumstances.

Brendon just held out his hand for Josh to take.

 

* * *

 

The attack happened a few weeks later.

They were at their base, Josh had been meaning to leave and go home since hours prior, but got held up writing up his report on what he’d seen—which was _zilch_. It was a little disheartening to say the least, because Josh didn't know where the rebels were hiding and if he couldn't find them then he couldn't find the man behind all of this.

He’s about to hand over his report to the general when the first bomb goes off. It’s loud and it comes from the building to his right, everyone around him diving for cover. Josh did, too, and he’s pretty sure that everyone was shouting orders and commands at him though he couldn't hear through the ringing in his ears.

The ground shook beneath him, signalling another explosion and Josh sprang into action, running out of the building he was in currently and right out into the open, the only weapons that he had and really needed on his persons already.

The sight of all the rebels everywhere, fighting and from what Josh could tell _laughing_ at them, had his feet anchored to the ground in front of him in horror.

“No…” Josh whispered, looking down at his dirty hands and back at the carnage being done, his entire mind refusing to believe it.

It’s not until a fucking _wolf_ launched itself at him that he moved, taking out one of his many hidden knives and stabbing it in its haunches. It whimpered, blood falling onto Josh’s hands as it fell to the ground next to him. Josh thinks that he finished it off, an easy kill and was about to turn his back on it when he saw it gnash it’s teeth fiercely, clearly not done with him yet. It got back up, tackling Josh down to the ground, the growl in its throat frightening Josh more than he let on.

“Get the fuck off me!” Josh shouted, lifting the knife and hitting the creature in its side again and again. The wolf bit his forearm in retaliation, a scream wedging itself out of Josh before he could stop it.

This thing was going to rip his arm off like it was a chew toy. He didn't even think when the ice engulfed the wolf, sharp shards of it lodging into it’s furred skin. The wolf howled in pain until it shifted, turning back into its rightful form.

Instead of the wolf being on top of him, now there was a girl with bright blue hair and eyes full of unshed tears, the blood dripping from her nose and onto Josh’s cheek.

She tried to speak, but the ice was still lodged into her skin and all she could do was grimace. Josh knew how hard it hurt to have the ice impale you, but as he tossed her off of him, the shards breaking and her breathing shifting in obvious pain, he didn't feel any form of remorse when he took out a shard from her arm and stabbed her right in the throat, putting her out of her misery.

Not so innocent when they try to kill him, are they?

He’s alert now, his mind reeling with possibilities of how this could have happened, how the rebels found their base when they were always so goddamn careful. There were so many explanations, someone could have forgotten to cover their tracks, or someone gave away their location, traitors—

Josh stopped thinking when he spotted Tyler standing not even ten feet away from him, his posture so careless that it seemed out of character. They stared at each other, Josh’s jaw surely dropped while Tyler smirked and waved at him, mocking him.

He’d been waiting for this moment for so long, his first instinct was to run forward and just _attack_. Josh didn't care what happened, as long as he got a few hits in and he hurt the son of a bitch, he would be happy.

But none of that happened, because he’s being thrown to the side as another explosive goes off right in front of him. The smoke from the blast obstructed his sight, Tyler’s figure vanishing completely from view before he’s looking down at the person who interrupted his chance at redemption.

He doesn't expect to see Brendon, his hands covering his bleeding stomach like he’s surprised.

“Oh, god.” Josh whispered through the ringing in his ears, leaning down and shifting Brendon’s position like they’d taught him in med practice, ignoring the sting in his forearm. “Brendon. Brendon, hey. You’re going to be okay.”

Brendon tried for a smile, teeth already stained red as he opened his mouth to speak with no sound coming out. Josh fucking lost it.

“What were you thinking?” Josh ripped Brendon’s shirt to assess the wound and almost gagged. It was deep and the blood was everywhere, splurging onto his fingers. He racked his brain for all the med info he knew and all the blood looked like way more than a pint; this wasn't a good sign. “Oh fuck, Brendon, _why?_ ”

“You were running toward a bomb, bro.” Brendon gurgled out, his eyes closing, half-lidded.

“No, no,” Josh shook his friend. “Hey! Stay with me! Dude, stay awake, this—this isn't— _you have Sarah_.”

At the sound of his fiancé’s name, Brendon opened his eyes, reaching up a bloodied hand to Josh’s cheek.

“Take—care—of her.”

“You can do that yourself,” Josh said, though they both knew that was a lie now, the war going on around Josh a distant sound. “Brendon, you're going to be okay. Brendon, you’re— _Brendon!_ ” Josh sounded hysterical, his tears falling when Brendon closed his eyes and promptly stopped breathing.

Josh couldn't move as he stared down at Brendon, who had dived in front of him to stop him from stepping on a landmine, risking his own fucking life for a mistake Josh would regret for as long as he lived. How hadn't Josh seen it? The answer hits Josh too quickly; Tyler had never been there, of course not. Why would the face of the Rebellion go anywhere near the action?

Josh is too engrossed in his thoughts and his grief, his entire body shaking with his silent sobs, that when he gets hit in the side of the head by a fist that electrocuted him into unconsciousness, he doesn't even have time to react.

 

* * *

 

Josh woke up to a blinding light and his first thought is that he’d died and gone to heaven; that he was still pure enough to make it there, regardless of his kill streak.

It’s naivety at it’s finest because the second his eyes adjusted and he tried to lift his arms to rub at them warily, they were held back by chains. They clacked against the white wall behind him, his heart hammering in his chest because _this_  was the worst case scenario; what were they going to do with him?

Powers, as it turns out, are completely fucking useless when you need them the most. Josh tried to freeze the chains to break them free, but nothing happened. He didn't know why the ice wouldn't help him, he didn't know how to get out of here and when his breathing constricted and he gasped for air, he cowered further into the wall, bringing his knees to his chest in a desperate attempt of making himself small.

Realization hit him that he’s going to die. His friend was dead already, god knows how many other soldiers got caught in the crossfire. Maybe there was some in this prison with him, making plans on how to escape, too. Maybe there was a rescue mission being planned at their second base.

Josh thought of the positives, focusing on his breathing and trying to get the radical beat of his heart to slow down. He looked down at his arm, remembering the pain that had been there when he was still on the battleground, only to see no mark of teeth on him.

“What the hell,” Josh whispered to himself, turning his arm over to inspect it, not understanding why the rebels would _heal_ him.

It’s in that moment that three rebel guards decided to enter the room, their laughs of content making Josh’s stomach clench in disgust. They’d killed his _friends_ , the people he worked with in cold blood, how could they be laughing so carelessly? Josh watched them with all the hatred he feels plastered on his face, his gaze unwavering when they moved closer to him slowly like he was some rabid animal.

“Not so tough now, are you?” One of them spat, his long black hair tied back, though a few loose strands fell forward.

“That depends,” Josh drawled, tasting the blood from his split lip. “Are you going to unchain me for a fair fight?”

They laughed again, pointing at him like he’d made such a funny joke, but Josh’s eyes narrowed even more at their blatant ignorance. The second guy, a man with wild curly hair stepped forward and before Josh could even make a sound, his fist was connecting with his face, the shock of it making him jolt up in surprise.

So this was the guy who had knocked him out.

Josh breathed heavily through his nose and he could already feel the bruise beginning to blossom on the side of his jaw, picturing the dark purple hue of it when he closed his eyes.

“Ray,” The third guy said, a warning passing through the air and Josh looked up, locking his eyes with him despite the rising tension in the room. He had bright red hair and though he was glaring at Josh like he was the scum of the earth, he still appreciated to small stick-up for him.

“What? He deserves it.” Guy number two, Ray, replied. He waved exaggeratedly at Josh’s slumped up figure in an attempt to prove his point. “He’s in here for a reason.”

“And here I thought this was just some kinky roleplay thing.” Josh answered, his voice coming out more confident than his body felt.

It happened quickly again; one second Josh was looking at them and the next he’s staring down the barrel of a gun, his vision blurring it out of focus with its close proximity. He swallowed, the lump in his throat growing in size, but he wasn't going to be made a coward in here; he was strong and positive of the fact that he was still alive for a reason.

He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to it and calling his bluff. “Fucking do it.”

“You _ungrateful_ —” Ray didn't even finish his sentence, drawing back the gun and striking Josh in the face with it. Josh was starting to get tired of this. He’s a little surprised his jaw wasn't broken and his teeth were still all in tact.

“Now, now, is that any way to treat our important guest?” A new voice scolded, a voice Josh knew all too well, the sound of it replaying in his head every single fucking day. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply in an attempt to psych himself up before looking in the direction the voice came from.

Tyler looked back at him with amusement painted on his face, his arms crossed boldly over his chest as if he expected nothing less from Josh. He was wearing his usual black jeans and tank top, tattoos that Josh had once admired and adored in plain sight; his entire _conduct_ making him seem like an innocent bystander incapable of doing any wrong, but the way all three guards moved out of his way and spluttered apologies on apologies contradicted it.

Josh attempted to get up, holding onto the wall for stability before finding his footing and moving toward Tyler until the chains stopped him.

“Important?” Josh tilted his head, lifting his locked up hands. “This is what you call important?”

“Important prisoner,” Tyler amended, taking a step closer while his people watched on. “What did you expect?”

“Fuck you,” Josh growled. “Why don't you get on with it and kill me already?”

Tyler hummed, picking at his nails. “I’m glad to see that time hasn't soothed the sharpness of your tongue.”

Josh stayed silent at that, opting to glare at him instead and hoping all his feelings toward this entire thing can be translated by it. Tyler held up a finger, a signal for Josh to wait a second and turned to his guards.

“I gave you specific orders not to harm him,” Tyler said, low and intimidating, while the guards shook in place. Josh doesn't blame them, he was fighting back a shudder himself. “Didn't I?”

“Yes, sir!” They all replied in unison, Ray being pushed forward by his companions. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, eyes wide and afraid and completely frozen. “It’s my fault. I shouldn't have let him provoke me.”

“ _Provoke?_ ” Josh spluttered, laughing outright as the chains rattled behind him. “You call that me provoking you? Oh me, oh my, I am truly a scary man that needs to be put in my place.”

Tyler stared at him, snapping his fingers at the three people without taking his eyes off of Josh. “Alright, you three. Get out.”

“Sir, are you su—”

“ _Get out_.” Tyler repeated and they all snapped up to attention, saluted him in respect and scrambled out of the room without a second glance, leaving the two of them alone.

Josh felt the room get warmer, damp sweat beginning to form at the nape of his neck, a heat that could only be emitted by the boy across him. Josh knows better than to think otherwise and he kind of wants to scream for everything that’s wrong with all of this. It feels like one way or another, he’s going to end up here, a prisoner of Tyler’s, no matter how hard he tries to get away.

“Joshua,” Tyler said, walking up to him with the precision of a soldier, back straight and beat up vans silent as a mouse. “Josh.”

“That’s my name, yes.” Josh commented dryly, not giving Tyler any access to get in his head. He wasn't going to buy anything Tyler selled; it was all lies.

Tyler rolled his eyes, over dramatic as ever. “As if I could forget. Your pretty face haunts me.”

Josh knew he was trying to get a rise out of him, so Josh moved his face to the side taking in the walls of the room. The heat started getting more prominent and Josh tried to retaliate, to get the room back to a breathable temperature, but nothing happened.

“What did you do to me?” Josh asked, clenching his fists together. “Why won't my power work?”

“Does it bother you?” Tyler replied, raising an eyebrow. “Doesn't feel good being _normal_ , huh?”

“That’s not—”

“Your powers are still there, don't worry. It’s the room that’s blocking out any factor of cold,” Tyler interrupted, lifting his hand up and grabbing Josh’s chin. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Josh spat right in his face, watching it drip from his cheek down to his jaw with an innocent smile curling at the edges of his lips. Tyler blinked, then the hand grabbing his face was on fire, the burn making Josh jerk back in pain. He doesn't scream; doesn't let the sound leave him to satisfy Tyler.

“Are you a fucking idiot?” Tyler pushed him back against the wall roughly, not caring when Josh grunted in pain.

“We established that when I was stupid enough to fall in love with you,” Josh told him, hyper-aware of how there was a good chance he was going to die sooner than he thought. “Keep up, Tyler.”

“You have a death wish,” Tyler smiled, running his hand into Josh’s faded red hair.

“Yeah, I do, so let's get this over with,” Josh snapped, and Tyler tugged on his hair at that, giving him a sharp look. “Kill me or get one of your weaponized goons to do it.”

Tyler pulled away from him as he spoke, a chuckle passing his lips.

“Look around, Josh. We're all weapons. _You’re_ a weapon,” Tyler said, waving a hand dismissively. “But you may as well be your own. If you’re going to destroy yourself, baby, do it for yourself and not for other people."

“What are you talking about?” Josh reached for his arm to make him stop his pacing.

“I mean, I know you, darling boy. You work yourself to the point where you can't even stand up straight and for what? Certainly not for your own personal vendetta.” Tyler grinned in victory when Josh’s face fell and he let go of him, shock evident.

That’s how they found the base, Josh figured. Tyler always knew where Josh was. He knew him by his full name, so it would have been so fucking easy to just—

“You had a tracker following me,” Josh whispered, catching on. “You always knew where I was.”

Tyler points his thumb and index finger at him, a makeshift gun. “Bingo.”

“Why?” Josh raised his voice, eyes stinging. This wasn't fair, this shouldn't have happened. How hadn't Josh known?

He was the reason Brendon was dead.

“Because I _can_ and wanted to.” Tyler leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to the corner of Josh’s mouth, the lack of reaction from the other boy making him laugh.

Brendon was dead because of him; he led the rebels right to them. He’s the reason so many of his people were dead. He’s the reason they'll never see their families again. Brendon was right when he had called him a fucking traitor.

“It’s not fair,” He moved away from Tyler, leaning his shoulder against the wall for support.

“We don't live in a world that’s fair, Josh.” Tyler told him, his voice dropping in disgust. “We live in this one.”

Josh lifted his hands to wipe at a single stray angry tear, the chains clanking around heavily until he let himself drag down to the floor, his back pressing firmly against the wall and his knees drawn up, not quite to his chest but enough to bury his face in them if he needed.

“Kill me or leave me alone.”

“I’m not going to kill you, Josh,” Tyler crouched down next to him. “That’s too easy. I’m going to make you suffer until you’re begging me to stop.”

Josh laughed, short and humourless while Tyler got up, raising the heat in the room again, no doubt. Josh watched him, his face one of neutral concentration, one that he’d seen so many times and kissed away with a whisper of _come to bed with me_ and a coy smile of implication.

Of course, all those nights Tyler spent awake and worrying, all the times he’d hid his notebooks away from him, laughing it off as work related stuff with a sweet, tender kiss to Josh’s lips, it’d always been blueprints and plans for the Rebellion; how to get it up and off its feet like he’d done so cleverly.

Tyler started walking away, pausing in the entryway to Josh’s cell. He turned back toward Josh with a look of curiosity and a teasing smile that was so familiar it might as well have cut Josh's heart in half all over again.

“If I do kill you, Joshua, I’ll be quite generous about it.” Tyler nodded, eyes glazing over as if he were considering it. “I’d let you confess anything to me and free yourself of your sins before you go. Like they do in church. You were always a believer.”

 _So were you_ , Josh almost said, but that had been a fake Tyler, one that was using him for his own benefit. It’s so hard to think there was a time he would have told Tyler everything without a second thought.

“My sins are all I have left.” Josh replied smoothly, truthfully, though his mouth felt like sandpaper.

Tyler didn't glance back when he exited the cell, and Josh didn't scream when it lit on fire.

 

* * *

 

It’s like that for the next coming days. Or weeks. Josh couldn't tell, but if the stubble growing on his face was anything to go by, he’s been in there too long and all his hope was nearly spent. No rescue mission was being planned any time soon, much to Josh’s disappointment.

He didn't see Tyler every day either, but the man did come and check up on him every so often, taking in the damage his people do to him with a low appreciative hum. The sadistic and sociopathic asshole.

Josh refused to scream or cry. They won't get it out of him no matter how many people Tyler sends to break him. It hurts, of course; being tortured isn't fun business and being zapped, and pushed and torn at by all kinds of powers daily does a toll on Josh’s body, but he won't let it get to him.

He was stronger than he could ever have imagined himself being. He knew fear was only real if he let it be and that it made him stronger with every one he overcame.

When a girl with bright red hair and a too wide smile greeted him in his cell, Josh just stared ahead, fixated on a point on the other side of the wall like it was his magic way out of there.

She snapped her fingers in front of his face and when she got no reaction, Josh’s void stare unchanging, she made a noise of obvious annoyance. Josh wished he could care enough to apologize, to try and make her feel better like he would have before all this, but he couldn't even bring himself to utter a syllable after the last person who spoke to him distorted his reality in an attempt to get him to lose it.

As if on cue, he’s plunged into darkness with no warning; another test to see how well he can handle all this shit.

He doesn't let himself scream.

 

* * *

 

In the end, it’s ultimately Tyler who ends up breaking him and the new persona he had going on.

The pain was getting to him, his mind fogging up and deceiving him, telling him that things would be better if he just gave up already, when Tyler walked in, happy as can be. Truth be told, Josh didn't think he was real at first glance and when he appeared there, when Josh felt at his weakest and his body was aching all over, he’d thought it was some sort of sign—or mirage.

Tyler had smiled at him, sweet as syrup with his dimple popping out on one cheek as he crouched down in front of him and spread his knees apart to get between them, closer to Josh.

He reached out, fingers ghosting over Josh’s bruised cheek so gently, such a big contrast to how he was usually being treated when anyone entered his cell that he leaned into the touch like a cat, lips parting to let out a breath of relief when he wasn't hit in response.

Tyler didn't hit him, but his words struck him like he had.

“I can't believe you ever acted like you weren't mine.”

Josh bit his split lip, not wincing at the pain, but trying his hardest to keep his voice from shaking and cracking when he replied, “It hurts so much.”

“I know,” Tyler answered, a look on his face that suggested that was obvious, but Josh looked at this angel-sent version of his past lover and reached a chained hand up to connect with the one on his face.

“ _Everything_ hurts so much,” Josh broke, letting his unshed tears fall like a river flowing. “ _Help me_.”

Tyler placed a soft hand on his other bloodied and blue-black tinted cheek, ignoring Josh's stubble and running his thumb over his high cheekbones in an attempt to soothe him, but it only made Josh cry harder. Josh felt so fucking empty, like he had nothing left to fight for and he just wanted to scream his aggravation because how did this become him? He was better than this, he _used_ to be better than this.

Without thinking, he surged forward and caught Tyler’s lips in his own. It’s sloppy, his lips barely meeting with Tyler’s top lip, but being with Tyler is something Josh knows; it’s engraved in his bones and head like all the things he’d ever learned in school would never be. Tyler used to be his everything, his entire heart and _being_ , the thing that made him feel and gave him a reason to stay alive. Even now, in the midst of a war and having cheated death countless times, he still wants to stay alive for the sole reason of killing him. He’d never escape his clutches, his nails are dug too deep into him to detach now.

Tyler smiled into the kiss before breaking away, pushing Josh back gently—so gentle, Josh sighed—and pressed their lips together again firmer, better. His tongue ran over Josh’s raw and bleeding lip, a hiss escaping Josh before he’s gasping at the hands running down his thighs, featherlight; a soft pressure that made Josh want to beg Tyler for more.

“Tyler,” Josh murmured against his lips, moving to tug on the other boy's hair only to hear the chains rustle. He dropped his hands, figuring they’d hurt Tyler if they kept hitting him in the face. “ _Please_.”

“I know, baby.” Tyler assured, kissing his jaw lovingly, moving down his neck and leaving stinging bites and nips in his wake. Josh closed his eyes and moaned, his hips bucking when Tyler bites on a specific area on his neck that he knew made him whimper, and mewl, and beg.

Josh surprised the both of them when he ended up pushing Tyler away, the pain reminding him that this was reality and not a fantasy like he originally thought.

They both looked at the other, eyes wide before Tyler’s gaze hardened, jaw clenching with barely concealed anger. The friendly, caring demeanour broke completely as he got up and walked out of the room with a shout to the new guard waiting out there. Josh should have known better than to let his own guard down; he would never learn from his mistakes, it seemed.

Josh continued crying, and when nobody came in to continue his torture session, he finally let himself scream.

 

* * *

 

“This would be so much simpler if you just joined me, Josh,” Tyler walked into his cell with a bored expression, like he was tired of seeing Josh on the ground, panting and hurt every time he visited. “I mean, honestly, would it really be so bad? Being tortured is so much better?”

“Yes.” Josh bit back, leaning back on his knees and finally letting himself breathe when the girl who had the power to make him feel any pain she wanted just by a thought had left.

After feeling like he’d been stabbed with a dozen knives repeatedly, he almost wanted to vow to never use a knife again.

“You’re stubborn, but I really didn't think you'd be so fucking stupid on top of it. I’ve given you so many chances, Josh. _So many_.” Tyler walked over, kicking Josh in the gut and watching him fall over without a sound. He kicked him again, harder.

Josh clenched his teeth together, forcing himself to be strong. He figured that as the days pass and the weeks keep moving, that it would get easier. That the pain would become tolerable. Josh was always in so much pain at this point that he couldn't even fucking tell if it’s worse or better, so he counts it as a win on his side.

Sometimes, when he was unusually hopeful and delusional with his pain, he imagined a future where the world hasn't gone to complete shit. He imagined a world where he and Tyler got their happy ending; living a simple life, having a family. Things that he never thought he’d get now, but could still dream about.

“You'll never win this, you know,” Josh turned to lay on his back when the kicking stopped, staring at the all too familiar ceiling with ragged breaths. “The Rebellion will fall.”

Tyler laughed. He laughed, and he laughed and laughed, but Josh couldn't find the strength in him to move. He heard Tyler’s footsteps moving away from him, their sudden halt not even fazing Josh anymore as he continued to stare coldly toward the ceiling; Tyler always needed to have the last word, after all.

“Have a little faith, sweetheart,” Tyler said, a tightness in his voice that reminded Josh of a man losing his patience. “The people love me.”


	4. Yo, you, bulletproof in black like a funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Josh really hates being locked up so he gets off his ass and does something about it and Tyler continues to make mistakes and fail to give a damn but ultimately starts to get his shit together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've written and re-written and written this chapter so many times i'm beginning to lose my damn mind. 
> 
> the original ending wasn't working for me and i hated it and because i'm an improviser, i paved a new path for this fic to go in so that's what's up

Josh accepted his situation for what it was: he was his ex-boyfriends prisoner, and from the looks of it, he didn't think he was getting out of this situation any time soon. It was pathetic, but it could be worse.

What happened was that after a while, he kind of lost hope that he’d ever escape. He gave up, which, yeah, was a stupid thing to do, but his thoughts became darker, more cruel as they drifted to what his life had become. It was a complete mess; what more could he do with it if by some miracle he escaped Tyler’s clutches? Stay on the run, looking over his shoulder with fear rushing through his veins for the rest of his life?

He didn't want to live a life like that, he _thought_ he had decided. He really didn't, and he didn't think he could kill Tyler either, so what choice did he have? But then one day he woke up and by some miracle, he started plotting again, finding some kind of way to get the hell out of there and one-up Tyler in his trickery and games because he was Josh fucking Dun. Why was he scared of Tyler Joseph? Even if Tyler found him again, he didn't think he had it in him to kill him either.

So, Josh started setting his plan into motion the second he felt confident enough with it that he was _sure_ it would succeed.

He purposely made himself act weak and afraid a few days prior to when his plan would kickstart. It was something that gave his ‘torturers’—what is he supposed to call them, really—a kick. He could tell it made them feel powerful when he came back to himself after their powers had been used and he had to _pretend_ to be scared, to be something he’s not. He never used to be a great liar, but as his life spiralled out of control, he mastered the ways of being silver-tongued and convincing in his attempts of negotiation and meeting with the likes of generals he was reporting to. He just had to do this to make it believable to the rebels—even though all he wanted to do was fight them all until one side was left standing; them or him.

He saw the cocky edge of each person who walked in, how they thought they had an advantage over him when, in reality, he was already one step ahead. It drove him crazy pretending, but he had to make this believable. Yeah, they hurt him and beat him and all that jazz, but Josh, with the bruises and scratches, still had the upper hand despite his constant obedience and begging to not be hurt again.

Regardless, Josh was dealing with this problem just fine—he reminded himself that he was still in control, not the other way around. It kept him grounded. Then, when he was finally ready, he sized up the guards coming in and out until he chose one that looked the least threatening.

He stood up, leaning against the wall and baited the guy, calling him out on how his powers were no match for him if they couldn't even knock him off his feet and how his punches didn't even hurt while the blood from a blow slid from the side of his head, trailing all the way down to his neck. Josh got him riled up while he inched closer to the toilet in the corner of the room, calculating his odds carefully as he analyzed the other man again and again in order to not mess this up like he’s been known to do lately.

The most important part of this plan was to get near the toilet. Josh didn't know why, maybe it was a final act of decency to the prisoners, but it was the only place in the cell where the camera monitoring him didn't reach. He wasn’t entirely sure of this theory at first, but he watched every guard closely when they came in and without failing, whenever they were done with him, they always went and checked out the unwatchable area, probably to see if he’d been plotting stuff there. An escape of sorts like the heroes always managed to do in the movies. Josh _was_ going to escape, mind you, but not because of a hidden pathway he created.

When the guy was close enough and they were backed up against the wall near the chosen spot, Josh lunged forward, kneeing him in the stomach hard enough to make him keel in pain before his chained hands wrapped around his attackers neck as quickly and efficiently as his soldier training let him. Josh was glad that he already had the advantage of height on his side when the guy yelled in surprise, his hands reaching up to the chains in panic as he choked because _wasn’t Josh meant to be weak?_

Josh smiled maliciously as he glanced down, and he didn’t hesitate to pull his hands closer to himself, a snarl passing his lips when the guy struggled, his power not much use when he was being choked to death. The sounds escaping him were dangerously close to making Josh laugh outright like they all had when he shook with exhaustion every single time he was tortured. He wanted to ask him if this was really all he’s got, but he controlled himself enough not to sink down to their level of petulance.

The chains rattled on the floor as Josh pressed them tighter into the guy’s neck, his wrists straining against the restraints. Though this was a power moment for him ( _finally_ he could fight back!) he was getting impatient with how long this was taking. His instincts were on high alert in the off chance that someone else came into the cell to check out the commotion, but the door remained unopened, Josh’s eyes fixed to it just in case. If someone else came in, he wasn't sure how he’d handle it, but he knew it wouldn't be a pretty sight. He’s way past being rational with the rebels at this point and if he had to kill more than one person, then so be it.

Josh let him go when he went limp against him completely, breathing out a huff of disbelief when the guy fell lifelessly to the ground, his neck inflamed from the chains. This was too easy, and the adrenaline he was feeling was such a pleasant surprise after not having felt anything other than fear and dread since he got here.

Josh didn’t waste time thinking it over though, his escape plan was on a time limit now and he hastily pat the guy down, searching him. He grabbed the keys from the body's belt that would free his hands, internally screaming with joy before he dubiously, almost disbelievingly, noticed the amount of keys in his hand. The world, he decided, really hated him and wanted to see him fail. How the fuck is he going to find the one he needed in this shitshow of a keychain? If this weren't such a stressful mission, he’d scream his heart out for a solid 5 minutes until his throat hurt. Instead, he got to work, using key after key on the chains lock, desperately trying to keep from tearing his hair out in frustration when they didn't work.

After the tenth key, and a few dramatic sighs here and there, the familiar click of something being unlocked almost brought him to tears.

He unchained himself, his wrists aching with relief from the confinement they’d been in for so long, gently rubbing them and hissing at the soft pain the pulsed through him. He shook his head, ignoring the bruises littering his wrists and moved the body over, looking for the keycard that would get him out, that would finally set him free and give him his powers back. He was met with nothing as he patted all the pockets on him. This man didn't have one on him. How could he have the keys for his chains, but not the room? More importantly, why wasn't Josh surprised?

A sickening feeling enveloped him and made his stomach drop; had Tyler known the entire time?

He looked toward the door of his cell—that was surely locked now—with a narrowed gaze of annoyance. Tyler didn’t send in backup either, so there was no way for him to get out with someone else’s card. Josh let out a breath to calm himself down knowing, logically, that he still did get something out of this whole thing.

His plan had screwed him over, getting him right back where he started, but it would still send a message and he’ll be damned if it doesn't get Tyler’s attention. At least he managed to make himself be an even bigger inconvenience while he was staying in Tyler’s prison.

Josh sat back down in his usual spot and looked at the dead body on the other side of the room with a blank face again, not seeming to care about the fact he just killed someone for nothing. Morals be damned, his concern was more for the fact that he was outsmarted. How could this have happened? He’d been so careful, so precise with everything he had been planning. Tyler couldn't have guessed what he was doing, what he was planning, not when he knew he had acted the shit out of the ‘weak’ card so well leading up to this moment. How could he? Tyler hadn't even bothered to see him in the time it took him to come up with this stupid, backfire of a plan.

Maybe Josh was just destined to fail.

It felt like time had been slowed or just wasn't passing the longer Josh sat there wondering where he went wrong; where he slipped up and gave himself away. He’s lost in his head when Tyler sweeped into the room in all the grandness of a general who was feared and respected, back straight, his gaze hard and unrelenting when they locked eyes. The disappointed glint in them made Josh’s chest feel tight, like he couldn't breathe properly.

Tyler took one look at the poor soul on the ground and clicked his tongue, his face one of mock concern as he took a step closer to him. “Well, now you've made a mess, haven't you?”

Josh blinked, biting back his reply, not wanting to satisfy Tyler with one.

“Oh, come on. I know you're not chained, Josh. Aren’t you even going to put up a fight?” Tyler taunted, spreading his arms out. “I’ll even let you get the first hit in. Make it a good one.”

The silence Josh greeted him with was heavy with tension, anger and distress mixing together around them. If Tyler couldn't tell how he was feeling by the glare on his face, the mood in the cell definitely tipped him off nicely.

Tyler nodded, as if in understanding Josh’s unspoken words before looking back at the corpse. “Pete Wentz.”

“What?” Josh said back, his tone clipped.

“This guard,” Tyler pointed theatrically to the body. “His name was Pete Wentz. Great guy, generally well liked among his peers. He had a family; a beautiful son and a husband who are going to have their world fall apart once we send word that—”

“ _Enough!_ ” Josh snapped, chest heaving as he stood up, easily now without the grotesque chains weighing him down.

“Oh?” Tyler turned, raising an eyebrow. “Have I said something to upset you?”

“I know what you're doing, Tyler. I’m not going to feel guilty, not over this.” Josh hissed, waving in the direction of the guy. Pete. “We’re at war. Casualties happen. It was him or me and I wasn’t ready to die just yet.”

“I’m just letting you know who he was.” Tyler shrugged, the face of innocence.

“How would you even know?” Josh scoffed with a subtle shake of his head.

Tyler narrowed his gaze. Josh knew he hit a nerve. “It’s my job to know my soldiers. Don’t your leaders take the time to get to know you? Oh wait, of course not! You've probably never spoken to them outside their castle.”

“You could literally come up with any bullshit story about that guy, it doesn't mean I’ll believe you.” Josh retaliated, leaning back against the wall. He looked Tyler up and down to see if he had a keycard he could grab.

“Whether you believe me or not doesn't matter,” Tyler took a step closer, watching Josh intently. “You’re still going to have to live with this. Taking an innocent man’s life.”

Without missing a beat or breaking their eye contact, Josh replied, his tone sharp like a knife against smooth skin, “And how many innocent lives have you taken?”

“None that weren't warranted.” Tyler snarled, grabbing the front of Josh’s shirt and pulling him closer to him, to the point where their noses were close to brushing. “Let’s get something straight here, little _hero_. You’re no better than me. You think because I started this, I’m some sort of monster, but look at you. You’re fighting right back. Remind me how that's any different than what you think I do?”

Josh, to his credit, didn't flinch away from Tyler because he knew what his endgame was. He was trying to scare Josh into submission. Good fucking luck to him because not much can scare him anymore, either.

“I’m not intimidated by you, Tyler.” Josh swallowed, the realization that he was free coming back to him. He lifted his arms and pushed hard against Tyler’s chest. “We’re nothing alike.”

Tyler stumbled back with the force of Josh’s shove and laughed. “You’re right. I’m far more clever; I would have escaped this prison by now.”

It was a dig that hurt Josh’s pride much more than he cared to admit. Tyler did know what he was planning, of course he did. Josh reverses their roles for a second: if Tyler had started acting as out of character as Josh had, he would have picked up on it, too.

“I’ll get out of here and when I do you'll never see me again.” Josh glared, feeling the anger in him start to drain as he begins planning a new out for himself.

“Oh, you won't try to kill me!” Tyler snapped his fingers sadly, a pout gracing his lips. “Unfortunate. I’d ask you why, but I'm afraid I already know that answer.”

Josh said nothing, his jaw clenching as he looked away.

“Besides, you will get out of here, darling. Not because of the astounding plans you’re undoubtedly coming up with, though,” Tyler sighed, looking toward the door. “I’m going to get you out.”

Now he had Josh’s attention, his head snapping toward him in record time. “What?”

“I’m taking you out of here.” Tyler said slowly, advancing toward him. “You want to know why your plan to sneak out with the keycard failed?”

Josh felt himself nod, trying not to let Tyler’s close proximity get to him as he crowded him against the wall, one hand near his face and the other by his side. He sort of wanted to disappear into the wall before he did something stupid like punch him, or kiss him, or... anything, really.

“Tell me.”

“It didn't work because I knew what you were planning almost simultaneously to your thoughts of it. If you were half as observant as I am, and a little less reckless, you would have noticed that everyone who leaves has a series of knocks they do on the door before they’re let out. If you had thought to think of that before rushing into an escape plan maybe you would have succeeded.” Tyler grinned at the way Josh’s eyes widened, leaning down until his mouth was by Josh’s ear. “And you would have noticed the weapon I’m holding, too, but not everyone is a strategist.”

Before Josh could start, Tyler’s already tasing him, the electricity running through his body making him drop to his knees in pain, trying to gasp out Tyler’s name but only being able to mouth the word with no sound. The last thing he saw in his line of sight as he fell was the door opening while a voice called out to _General Joseph_ desperately, breathlessly, like they needed his attention right away. Tyler was too busy looking down at Josh with blood red, narrowed eyes.

 

* * *

 

When Josh opened his eyes and was met with a ceiling that definitely wasn't the one in his cell —he would know, he's spent too much time staring up at it—he could feel the rising panic in his chest.

He sat up, finally realizing he was laying in a bed. A soft bed, something he hasn't laid on in who knows how long. He dazedly ran his fingers along the blank white sheets, their entire pattern reminding him of something he’d see in a hotel before he looked around the room curiously, wondering if all of that was just a crazy dream. 

The room being huge was a dead giveaway that it wasn't a dream even to his fuzzy, sleep induced mind. It was much bigger than his cell and finely decorated with paintings and patterns on the walls that lacked in the bedsheets. Josh wasn't surprised to find Tyler at a desk a few feet away from him, papers scattered all around it, no doubt plans for where he was taking the rebellion. Josh is hit with a terrible case of deja vu and he shakes his head to orient himself back to the present.

“Why am I here?” Josh spoke up cautiously, but Tyler doesn’t so much as move at the sound of his voice. He probably knew he was awake.

“Relax, Josh,” Tyler sighed as he got up from his seat, stretching out his limbs above his head, a quick flash of golden skin peeking out from the hitch of his white shirt. “There’s no cameras in here.”

“Relax?” Josh repeated, his tongue heavy as if he didn't know what the word meant. “How can I relax when you've had me constantly tortured for the past few months?”

“Do you want me to apologize?” Tyler asked flatly, walking over to the edge of the bed.

“Apolo—” Josh cut himself off as he got out of the bed and all but tackled Tyler to the ground with a growl.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Tyler groaned, less at the impact of Josh falling on top of him and more at the fact Josh attacked him again. “Do it already. Go on. Kill me, Josh.”

Tyler was laying there beneath him, not an illusion or a trick fabricated by Tyler’s mischievous magic. Josh could feel him beneath his fingers where he was clutching at his stupid white tank top, his face a complete invitation for Josh to do just as he asked, his voice loud and clear. The adrenaline was delicious in the sense that the pain in his wrists and body were a faraway feeling now, his only focus being the boy beneath him, waiting on his actions as the words _do it_ echoed in his head, ringing until it hurt.

“I can't,” Josh replied, monotonous and rushed out all at once. “I have no weapon.”

“Oh, bullshit.” Tyler leaned his head to the side, looking bored. “Your powers. Ice, remember? Or snap my neck, I know you've done it before. Make it quick.”

Josh almost let out a breath of relief when the cold came to him, his body welcoming it like a long lost friend. He felt a surge of emotions within him as he fabricated an icicle sharp enough to cut through skin and pressed it onto Tyler’s throat with shaking fingers. Without the ice, he hadn't felt whole and the fact it was back made his sense of purpose come crashing down on him like a freight train falling off the track. He was doing everything to save as many people as he could.

Tyler didn't try to melt it away as Josh thought, being as patient as one can be as they stare death right in the face. He wasn't even putting up a fight, he was actually doing the opposite; he pressed into it, drawing the slightest prickle of blood against his tanned neck and encouraged Josh to put it all the way through.

It wouldn't be the first time he does it, he reasoned with himself.

He should do it, it would set things right, and mark up the path for his redemption of not being able to save the ones he cares for, but... it felt _wrong_. He couldn't help looking into Tyler’s inviting brown eyes with a muted love he didn't know how to get rid of no matter how hard he tried. The blood drawn trickled down Tyler’s neck slowly, taunting Josh too, a silent plea for him to do it already, to stop stalling. But killing Tyler wouldn't change anything; someone else would take Tyler’s place in the Rebellion and they'd have Josh killed without a second thought. At least with knowing Tyler, Josh was at an advantage.

Josh huffed out a breath and threw the icicle across the room, the shard getting stuck in the wall like a dart hitting a bullseye before stumbling off of Tyler messily. He begrudgingly sat beside him with a glare, bringing a knee to his chest and placing a hand on the floor beside him.

“Great, now that _that’s_ out of your system, we can talk about more pressing matters.” Tyler said, getting up and offering his hand for Josh to take like nothing had happened. Like he didn't just risk his life so stupidly.

“How did you know I wouldn't? How could you have been so sure?” Josh asked curiously, ignoring Tyler’s waiting hand and getting up himself.

Tyler chuckled, like the answer was obvious. “Because you love me, J. You wouldn't be able to hurt me if you tried.”

And Josh felt like Tyler had stabbed him instead, his knife already sharpened from the many times Tyler had stabbed _him_ in the back already.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I don't love you anymore.” Josh gritted out, as if that wasn't the biggest lie he’s ever told.

“Sure.”

“You tased me to get me here.” Josh acknowledged disbelievingly, changing the subject as quickly as he could. “You could have just escorted me out without the whole electrocuting me unconscious thing.”

“What fun would that have been? You should be _thanking_ me for not burning you.” Tyler smirked, motioning for him to follow him to the desk. He sat carelessly in a chair and Josh did, too, albeit biting his tongue from making more petty comments and opting to just raise an eyebrow at him expectantly. There had to be a reason Tyler let him out.

Tyler sighed. “I can't act like—like _this_ around you out there. It'll just put you in danger.”

“Since when did you start caring about my safety?” Josh said slowly, not letting his mind wander to hope.

“Don’t pull that,” Tyler told him, voice oddly soft. He ran a hand through his hair almost nervously before letting it drop back on the desk. “You know the rebels would tear you apart if they knew who you were to me. Not that _they’re_ the ones who worry me.”

The last part was added as an afterthought. Josh didn't care, ignoring the little voice at the back of his head that was warning him that something was off about all of this.

Josh snorted. “Unrelenting devotion to their fearless leader.”

“Yeah, well, it comes in handy to be respected when you’re running a rebellion.” Tyler admitted, gesturing to all of papers on the desk.

“They were already tearing me apart anyway,” Josh pointed out, keeping his eyes on Tyler’s face. “Because you wanted them to. You _ordered_ them to.”

“Oh, _please_ ,” Tyler scoffed. “At first, sure, but once I realized you weren't going to join me, the guards became child’s play for you. You even managed to kill one, so spare me the guilt trip.”

Josh shut his mouth. He gave him that at least.

“Why am I here?” Josh repeated instead, gesturing to the room around him. He wondered if there were guards outside the door, in case he tried to escape. It’s funny; Tyler was sort of a prisoner here, too.

“I need to… speak with you.” Tyler said slowly, a thoughtful look on his face as he chooses his words carefully.

Josh leaned back in his seat. “I'm listening.”

The air of nonchalance vanished from Tyler, the familiar back-and-forth wit that had transpired between the two forgotten as it shifted into something else; something that made Josh clench his fists until his knuckles were white. What was going on?

“Not right now,” Tyler forced out, looking toward the door, wary and calculating. He focused back at Josh. “How about you shower and shave first? Change out of those dirty clothes?”

“Tyler, I don't have time for this, what—”

Tyler was out of his chair and grabbing him by his shirt before Josh could finish his sentence, pulling him to him feet and pressing his mouth to his ear, a sharp gasp leaving Josh’s lips in surprise. “Shut up and go. _Trust me_.”

Then he’s being shoved toward the door opposite of the desk, next to the bed. Josh doesn't trust Tyler, _shouldn't_ trust him, but his feet work on autopilot, following his orders without a single stutter in his steps. He glanced over his shoulder at Tyler when he reached the entry of the bathroom, his heart sinking when he noticed the red hue in Tyler’s eyes before he lowered his head into his hands, as if he were in pain.

Swallowing thickly, he walks into the bathroom and shuts the door. The room was dimly lit, the marble sink and mirrors surrounding the area making him roll his eyes. Of course Tyler would want to look at himself so much, the vain son of a bitch. Though, Josh had to admit, the whole _general_ vibe really, _really_ worked for him; had this been a totally different circumstance and different scenario, Josh would have swooned.

Black clothing seemed to be laid neatly near the the edge of the sink and Josh doesn't want to think about what Tyler gave him to wear. In fact, he doesn't know how he even found clothes for Josh to wear in general, so he ignored it completely, eyes sweeping the room for cameras. He finds none.

Instead he narrowed his gaze toward the shower which was on the further edge of the bathroom, while at the middle of the room was a large oval bathtub; without warning a quick, unwanted flash of Tyler sighing and getting in it, muscles relaxing as the warm water hits his skin after a stressful day crossed his mind before he could stop it.

He shook his head, getting rid of the image and slowly made his way to the sink with an extensive sigh of his own. This was a less than ideal situation to be in and he knew it. He had to listen to Tyler, but everything in him was screaming _traitor_ repeatedly and it was starting to give him a headache.

He opened the drawers surrounding the sink until he found the automatic razor he’d been looking for, a regular razor blade next to it with a bottle of shaving cream. He took out the single blade gingerly, carefully, his heart constricting in his chest as he thought about taking the blade and slitting it across his throat himself.

 _God, get it together, Joshua,_ he snapped, disapprovingly. This was neither the time or the place to pity himself. He’d done more than enough of that while he was chained up.

Everything he does after that thought seemed to be happening on its own; the way he applied the shaving cream and shaved his cheeks and chin, sliding the razor down his throat with ease. The gentle press of the water droplets of the shower hitting his skin. The way he watched the blood and dirt leave his body, exactly the same as he used to do when he was home.

It’s ironic that he was here, months later, doing the same exact stuff only he has _Tyler_ in the other room. How did he even land himself in Tyler’s room of all places? It was such an anomaly, the more he thought about it. Tyler told him to trust him, but for what? Why did he have to hide in here if Tyler owned this place? Everything wasn't making sense and quite frankly, Josh is way too goddamn tired to deal with any of this. He should run away as soon as Tyler turned his back and drop off the face of the earth; kill the tracker and go somewhere Tyler will never think to look.

Josh snorted, that would be the dream; to live his life away from the war and away from the fight. It would be the best vacation he could take, but unfortunately for him, the fight always followed him, no matter how hard he would try to get away. Fighting was wired into his brain and his bones, he couldn't stop now. It’s who he was.

Josh was humming softly to himself, a song he only remembered the beat of, as he casually slipped into the black skinny jeans and black muscle tank that Tyler left for him, purposely ignoring all the bruises on him. He didn't need the reminder, everything was still fresh in his mind of what he’d been through in this hellhole. He already didn't recognize himself _months_ ago when he was a free soldier. Now he would only see another stranger, a new one, conditioned by sadness and the war, staring back at him. So, his eyes avoided the mirrors, and when Tyler threw the door open and closed it just as quickly, Josh was sure he yelped and jumped back in shock. Tyler ignored him, leaning on the door for a second, looking a little like he wanted to scream out all his frustration before composing himself again.

“What the f—” Josh started to say when a hand covered his mouth, the words getting muffled. Tyler’s red eyes bored into his, frantic, and a little panicked as he placed a finger to his own lips. Josh didn't need to be a genius to figure out what he meant: _be quiet._

Josh stood completely still, staring into Tyler’s ruby eyes, trying to make some sort of sense of what the hell was going on. He almost wanted to hold his breath, the way Tyler was reacting at whatever he was seeing with his illusions was unsettling. Tyler’s discomfort was painted clearly on his face and it wasn't doing anything to calm Josh’s erratic heart.

Damn him and his escape plan, he shouldn't have done anything at all. At least his cell wasn't this confusing, there was a routine he’d picked up on in there; sleep, wake up, get tortured, eat, get tortured, rest, more torture, sleep, repeat.

Tyler sighed, warm breath brushing Josh’s face, as relief filled the room and the tension left his shoulders. Josh watched as Tyler’s eyes returned to their natural honeyed colour in awe, the switch happening in the blink of an eye, so quick he could have easily missed it.

Then, to confuse him even more, Tyler _smiled_ at him. Tyler. _His_ Tyler. Smiling willingly, genuinely even. Josh watched the lazy curve of Tyler’s lips twitch upward into a smirk and almost felt the air get knocked out of him over how much he missed this.

“I should have known better. You do have a death wish after all.” Tyler drawled, dropping his hand from Josh’s mouth but stayed close to him, fingers faintly brushing his arm. Josh started nodding, eyes focused on Tyler’s mouth for a second too long before he realized what Tyler said.

“Excuse me?” Josh snapped, moving two steps away, keeping a safe distance between them despite the hurt that flashed in Tyler’s eyes. “I didn't even _do_ anything. This time,” Josh clarified when Tyler snorted. “I was quiet.”

“I suppose now’s as good a time as ever to explain,” Tyler mused, ignoring Josh’s comment, but doesn't continue. Josh stared, waiting to hear this almighty explanation that'll open up the gates into understanding whatever the fuck was happening.

He waited, and waited and waited and this definitely wasn't going well. God, he almost wished he was still in his cell getting his good old dose of torture right about now. Anything was better than this—this _suspenseful_ waiting.

Tyler cleared his throat, making Josh tilt his head impatiently, lips pressed into a thin line. “Well, my dear Joshua, it seems we’re being hunted.”

Josh breathed in deeply at the way Tyler was feigning a cheerful tone. He was so confused and when Tyler leaned back against the door again, exhaustion radiating off of him in waves without elaborating, Josh felt the urge to grab him by the shoulders and shake him.

Josh wanted answers and that’s not what he was getting. This didn't concern him in any way; whatever trouble his former lover got himself in wasn't his problem. So what if Tyler was being hunted? He signed up for that when he became the face of the Rebellion. Josh gave him a look that suggested that thought and Tyler gave him an exasperated one right back, the sheer intensity of it making Josh want to move forward and hug him, tell him everything would be okay.

“Not _just_ me,” Tyler’s eyes softened, pleaded for him to understand. “I mean, yes, me, that much is true. But they’re hunting you, too. _And_ the royal family.”

Josh blanched as he processed those words carefully, trying to understand them and their meaning without asking the obvious questions. Tyler spoke the words softly as if not to frighten him, and why shouldn't he be? If someone was hunting him, then that means someone most likely wanted him _dead_. He racked his brain, thinking about anybody he might have pissed off enough to earn himself a bounty on his head.

There was one thing he was certain about in all of this at least. The world _definitely_ hated him.


	5. I got soul, but I'm not a soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Josh reluctantly agrees to help Tyler while simultaneously questioning all his life choices. all of them. every single one

“You’re kidding me.”

“Oh, I wish I was.” Tyler said darkly, looking up at the ceiling. “Thanks to extenuating circumstances, it turns out that we have a common enemy and we have to pause our little quibble if we want to survive.”

“A—A _quibble._ ” Josh knew that this was a serious moment, and that above anything he _shouldn't_ laugh, but he couldn't stop the chuckle that left his mouth.

“Josh, this really isn't all that funny.” Tyler regarded him lightly, his expression cool, composed. Josh’s laughter only intensified, inching towards hysteria.

“It’s hilarious!” Josh gasped. “We’ve been trying to kill each other for _years_ , Tyler, and you called it a quibble as if it’s—it’s a small thing. No big deal, you know, just a usual day at work trying to kill my ex.” Josh wiped at his eyes, small batches of giggles still in his voice. “And now all of a sudden this unknown assassin is out there trying to kill _us._ As if I needed anything _more_ to go wrong in my life. The world is playing one sick joke on me and you know what? I’m fucking laughing it up while I can!”

Tyler sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Are you finished?”

“Oh, man. Yeah,” Josh nodded, leaning his hip against the counter and sobering up. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Talk, _darling_. Tell me everything.”

Tyler bared his teeth, anger sizzling in the air around them and Josh got the feeling Tyler was going to tell him absolutely nothing now. He looked like he was ready to pounce on Josh and finish what this assassin started, lord knows he _could._  Josh almost felt bad for teasing him, opening his mouth to say as much and maybe talk himself out of a death sentence, but Tyler shook his head.

“I don't know what the exact story is, but someone is trying to get us all killed.” Tyler opened the door and gestured for Josh to follow him out of the bathroom. “It initially started when I took you; someone had started kidnapping and killing my rebels from under my nose. I thought it was the royal soldiers trying to take back what was theirs. I took their soldiers captive so they wouldn't be a problem on the field, so they came back to kill mine.” Tyler shrugged, neck rolling with the movement as though he was trying to relieve some tension. “A fair trade, I suppose. I assumed our location had been compromised, which seemed the most likely option at the time.”

“So?” Josh asked, watching Tyler fall tiredly onto the bed before rolling over onto his stomach and leaning up on his elbows. “It wasn't them.”

“No,” Tyler confirmed. “It wasn't. It couldn't be because your bases were getting attacked at the same time as mine. I was angry at first, but I did my homework instead of being rash and ordering an ambush; how _could_ your army attack mine when we were both fighting to defend ourselves? It didn't add up.”

Josh tried to not let the fact Tyler knew where their hidden bases were get to him as he moved to sit at the corner of the bed, alarmed. “I don't—I just need to know... were there many casualties?”

It was a wake up call on Josh’s part. Of course the war was still happening even while he was stuck in a cell. It didn’t just magically stop because he was held captive, a prisoner of a war he didn't even want to be involved in. And Tyler knew how badly Josh cared about everything. Whether it be people or small trivial things, Josh cared with his entire _being_. Knowing that the people he served with, the people who had his back, could be gone was tearing at his heart, an internal hurt manifesting without a wound. Josh swallowed thickly, trying to hide it when Tyler stayed silent.

“Please, Tyler.”

“I couldn't tell you,” Tyler admitted, sympathy in his voice. “But judging by what this assassin is doing to my army, it can't be good.”

“Fuck,” Josh ran a hand through his curls, breathing deeply to calm himself. “And where do I fit into this? You and the royal family are public figures; it’s not surprising that you’d be targeted. But me? I’m just a soldier.”

“Yes, but this assassin… they knew about us. They left a very detailed letter behind after one of their attacks threatening me about killing you.” Tyler said slowly, waving a hand around the room as if to emphasize his words. “Which is why I took you out of your cell. The idea of anything happening to you because I’d been naive and selfish just didn't sit well with me. I didn't want you without your powers in case…”

Josh looked at Tyler when he abruptly stopped speaking and saw the pained look on his face, transforming his features into that of a scared boy afraid to lose someone he loved. Tyler had already lost most of the people he cared about, first with his grandmother and then his family exiling him. Who else did he have? Josh didn't want to relate, but he did, and he understood Tyler’s worry of losing him almost too well.

“In case of what?” Josh pressed, wanting to hear the confirmation, to feel _wanted_ for something that wasn't violent.

“In case they found you.” Tyler finished, face going blank again. “I know damn well you can protect yourself in the face of confrontation. Keeping you isolated in a power suppressing cell would be unwise on my part.”

Josh appreciated the vote of confidence, but he was still wary with this situation. If this unknown person had an army of their own, what chance did Tyler and he have? Though, Josh supposed, if he had Tyler’s rebels and the royal army all trying to kill the same assassin then it might not end so bad after all.

“Why did you make me hide?” Josh asked.

“Really?” Tyler said impassively. “Don’t be dense. This is serious.”

Josh wished he could’ve had a drink in his hand so he could toss it in Tyler’s face. He clenched his jaw, narrowing his eyes at the boy lying next to him.

“ _Clearly_ it’s not safe anywhere.” Tyler sighed, exasperated. “I don't know who to trust; there must be a mole in my ranks because the assassin is getting their information from someone.”

Josh nodded. “They must have one in the royal army, too.” His eyes widened, looking down at Tyler. “Wait, have they tried to kill your family?”

“ _Not_ my family,” Tyler hissed, disdain washing over his face. “But yes, they've tried.  _Attempted._ I don't like it.”

“Seriously?” Josh scoffed, bringing his legs up to sit cross legged on the bed, getting comfortable. “This is everything you've ever wanted. The royal family to fall, to have their reign end.”

“Your ignorance is unbecoming.” Tyler rolled his eyes. “ _I_ want to be the one to kill them. I want them to know it was me; I want to make sure my face haunts them for the rest of their disgusting lives if it doesn’t already, do you understand? This assassin is just an obstacle getting in my way of doing so.”

“Boo-hoo,” Josh pouted, mocking sadness. “Someone might steal your thunder. What a shame.”

“Josh.” Tyler warned, eyes narrowing.

“What? The way I see it, you should be rejoicing. You and our foe have a common goal. Who cares who actually ends up killing them?”

“Who _cares_?” Tyler snapped, getting onto his knees and grabbing Josh’s face in his hand, forcing him to look at him. “This assassin wants to kill _you_ , Josh. They want to take you away from me and I _will not_ let them. They lost the chance to negotiate an alliance with me when they threatened your life.”

“All right, _all right,_ I get it. God forbid we manage to find peace in this shitty world of ours.” Josh sighed, leaning back when Tyler let him go with a huff. “What do you propose we do then?”

Tyler wasn’t bristling anymore, the simple question making his shoulders slump down, relaxed again. He tossed him a grin, eyes lighting up. “We work together, of course.”

“No.” Josh replied automatically, already thinking the worst. “No way. I don't think so.”

Tyler would betray Josh the second they get rid of the person hunting them. He was known for doing that, his loyalties clearly lying with one person: himself. Josh couldn't risk trusting him again, even if it was for a brief amount of time.

“Come now, Josh, think about it before making a decision in haste.” Tyler tried to reason, crossing his legs and mirroring Josh’s position. “You and I were brought together for a reason. Fire and ice, right? It was no coincidence.”

“Are you really pulling the ‘this is fate’ card on me right now?” Josh replied dryly, eyes turning to thin slits as he assessed Tyler suspiciously. He’s losing his mind, he’d definitely suffered some sort of brain damage with all the torture he went through. That was a logical explanation for all of this.

“Mm, fate might be a little too cliche for my taste,” Tyler hummed thoughtfully. “But nevertheless, sure, let’s say it was _fate_. Perhaps we were meant to take down this enemy of ours together in order to restore peace.”

Josh gawked at Tyler like he’d grown a second head and it was blue. He was using his words against him and Josh was still too tired to be dealing with this.

“No, I don't believe that and neither do you.” Josh told him, pointing between the two of them. “ _We_ don't work well together.”

“What makes you say that?” Tyler mused, a lazy smile gracing his lips despite Josh’s outright refusal. “You know me better than anyone, Josh. We’ve trained together since we were kids who didn't know any better and back then we were still so naive, so afraid and confused with the gifts we’d been given. We’ve helped each other keep our powers under control for years _and_ we already know how powerful we can be if we unite our efforts.”

“That’s why it’s dangerous! I can’t believe you would even bring that up when you know how much harm it could do to the both of us and anyone involved. Our powers together, it’s not safe, it’s careless and...” Josh answered, raising his voice with each word unintentionally, the unspoken _and it scares me_ clear in the silence that follows.

“Don’t you see?” Tyler whispered. “That’s why this can work. The assassin won't see it coming.”

Josh shook his head, unable to answer him. Tyler was right, of course, to some extent. The two of them working together, trying to get rid of this assassin, would be a walk in the park. The second they found out who the assassin was, they’d be able to combine their powers like they’d learned to do when they still trained together, fire and ice merging into one entity in order to attain a coalition of power. But it wasn't _safe,_ they’d only practiced it a handful of times and they’d both suffered minor injuries when they did. Josh wished he could say the same for their surroundings.

It was the ultimate act of recklessness and it was so unlike Tyler to suggest. All their lives, Josh had been the one shoving himself into harm's way, practically sitting in Death’s lap with all the stupid shit he did, and now it seemed Tyler was trying to catch up to him. Josh could see the positive side of the plan, though; if it worked, then it worked and everyone would be saved. Add in the extra knowledge of military experience that they both had now and it only made the offer even more reasonable.

But this was still Tyler, someone who used and manipulated his enemies to get his way, too. Who does Josh want to believe he is? The guy he fell for was gone, that’s for sure, and the Tyler sitting across him wasn't the general everyone feared him to be. Josh could feel the on-going bloom of a his migraine get bigger as his temples throbbed and his resolve began to break.

“Maybe I should rephrase my offer, yes?” Tyler pursed his lips, then smiled, brilliant and warm. “Help me save the royal family.”

“I can do that on my own.” Josh heard himself say. This is what his superiors would want him to say. _Don't negotiate with your enemies_ , one of his generals used to tell them. _That will be your downfall. Take no prisoners. Kill, so_ you _won't be killed._

 _How does that make us any better than them?_ Josh would speak up, so defiant and arrogant.

 _Rebel scum don't deserve empathy,_ His general would snarl, pulling Josh aside. _Don't let them break you._ _Control your emotions or you won't last long in this war._

Josh was always bad at following orders anyway.

“But we can do it together, like a _team_.” Tyler clapped his hands together, snapping Josh out of the memory and looking thoroughly amused. “What fun would that be, huh? The two of us, fighting side by side again. Tell me you haven't dreamed of it, love.”

And the offer made Josh’s heart flutter, his entire being singing at the thought of it. He wanted to work with Tyler, he realized, eyes going wide with the revelation. He wanted to help Tyler because with his help Josh could do his job. He’d made a vow to protect the royal family from harm; if he got a little extra help, who would complain? And if he felt a little rush of excitement at fighting _with_ Tyler instead of _against_ him, nobody needed to know.

“Okay, _okay,_ hypothetically speaking, what if I do agree to help you? Hypothetically.” Josh repeated, making sure Tyler didn't get any ideas as he leaned back on his hands. “What guarantee do I have that you won't kill the royal family and me the second you see the chance?”

Lord help him, Josh didn't know what the fuck he was thinking anymore. This was a terrible, terrible idea.

“Oh, Josh,” Tyler moved closer, barely stopping himself from embracing him. He lifted a hand to Josh’s face, hovering but not touching. “I wouldn't want to hurt you. Not intentionally.”

Josh rolled his eyes. “Forgive me for not taking that comment earnestly.”

“I know that we haven't been on quite the right foot since everything that’s happened and for that, I’m sorry. I genuinely hope that someday you can understand why I had to do this and forgive me.” Tyler dropped his hand, leaned back and weighed his options. Josh watched him curiously, licking his lips as he waited for him to continue. “But right now, we can't afford being incautious, not because of our petty disagreements with how the world should be ruled and treated. Yes, I admit, I _will_ find a way to kill the royal family with or without you; I have no qualms with sharing that at all and you can try to stop me when the time comes, but with this person in my way, I’m left at a roadblock.”

Tyler sighed, a small frown nestling on his face. “Not to mention they’re after our heads, too. Trying to find the assassin by ourselves, individually, will take significantly more time than if we combine our efforts into one search and just get this over with.” Tyler reasoned, his voice strong and sure again. “We have to work together, whether we like it or not.”

Josh closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to get out of this. The option to run is still on the table, he may not have weapons on him, but he certainly had his power. He’s positive he could take on a few rebels if he absolutely had to.

“I have a duty to your—the royal family’s empire. To protect and keep them away from harm.” Josh opened his eyes, levelling Tyler with a look. “The second I see your hostile attempt at taking their lives, I have to honour my vows of protecting them.”

“Yes, you’re no traitor,” Tyler murmured softly, fondness taking over his features. Josh felt his cheeks flush under his gaze, biting his tongue at a snippy remark. “Very well, then. I understand and I respect your loyalty, regardless of the ill will I have toward your precious rulers. The second our assassin is taken care of, well, I assume it would be safe for us to go back to being enemies.”

Josh winced. _Enemies_ was such a harsh word, but that's what they were, wasn't it? They weren't friends, and they definitely weren't lovers anymore. Maybe, in some twisted way, acquaintances would be the best suited word for what they are. How they ended up from lovers to this, Josh couldn't even begin to explain, but he’s certain that if he tried to tell it, no one would remotely believe him.

In this very moment though, as he scanned Tyler’s face for any form of deception, his smirk and raised eyebrow practically coaxing Josh for an answer, he felt like he was making a deal with the devil.

He didn't see what other choice he had.

“All right, as long as that point is clear, then I guess you found yourself a partner, flame prince.”

“ _Excellent_.” Tyler’s smile widened, a new hope in his eyes as he got off of the bed and reached for his shoes. Once they were on his feet, he beckoned Josh forward. “Come on, Josh. There are a few people you need to meet before we begin our little operation.”

Josh’s brain took a few seconds to process what was happening before following after him, putting on his own worn out shoes that he’d toed off near the bathroom. Tyler opened the door to the hallway with a bored expression on his face, greeting the guards with a nod of his head. Josh scrambled to catch up to him, glaring at the rebels and daring them with his eyes to strike him down.

His heart was thundering against his chest, almost rattling his lungs as he followed Tyler through the narrow path he was leading him in. Tyler seemed at ease a few steps ahead of him, having no doubt that Josh wouldn't stab him in the back right now, strike him dead as a surprise attack. It made Josh grit his teeth, willing his anger away at being predictable as fast as it had surfaced.

“Where are we going?” Josh asked once they'd turned again, making their way to an elevator.

“If I told you,” Tyler replied smoothly. “I’d have to kill you.”

“Really.”

“Yes. _Protocol_.”

Josh doesn't grace him with a reply.

The floor number kept sinking lower and lower, Josh’s suspiciousness heightening his senses. He didn't know where they were going, for all he knew Tyler was taking him back to his cell to laugh in his face and tell him it was all a joke. Or better yet, he was probably on his way to hell to serve a sentence.

Great job, Dun. This is what you get for making deals you shouldn't.

“Relax,” Tyler pressed a hand to Josh’s shoulder in an attempt to soothe. Josh looked down at his hand, shrugging it off incredulously. “Still stubborn, I see. Well, let me put your mind at ease. I’m not leading you into a trap to kill you.”

Josh opened his mouth—

“Or sending you back to your cell.”

Josh snapped his mouth shut, crossing his arms over his chest while raising an eyebrow. For all the talk about being partners, Josh found it hard to believe that Tyler expected him to trust him all of a sudden. Them working together didn't erase the fact that Tyler was a monster now, someone mothers told their children about at night, like he was some sort of boogeyman.

Tyler just tilted his head, pointing toward the door of the elevator as it came to a stop, its metal doors sliding open to answer the question Josh was so determined to find out.

His eyes flicked over to the room, and held back a gasp of surprise. Josh wasn't in the rooms that he was briefed in with the royal army generals, no, nothing like it. He was in something far more advanced, the room surrounded in computers; cameras watching and scanning the area as people scattered about the room, a throng of competent expressions on each of their faces. In the middle of the room was a simulator, a hologram of a plane floating above it as the rebels debated and fixed it’s flaws before building it, adding and taking things out with a sweep of their hands.

Stepping out of the elevator in awe, he couldn't tear his eyes away from everything in front of him, not quite knowing what to focus on the most. This was surreal, how could Tyler build something like this behind the back of the empire? Where could he have got this kind of technology?

“Allow me to introduce you to my team.” Tyler said, stepping out in time to avoid the elevator doors knocking into him. “Please try not to fawn too much. It feeds their egos in the worst way.”

At the sound of his voice, everyone glanced over, smiles on their faces as a chorus of warm _Tyler_ ’s filled Josh’s ears in greeting. They weren't addressing him as the general that always sweeped into his cell. These rebels didn't refer to him as General Joseph in fear or anguish and Josh doesn't understand.

Wasn’t Tyler meant to be ruthless and callous with his soldiers? Wasn’t he meant to be a dictator, forcing his agenda onto others? No, Josh sulked, that's what the royal family told people. That’s what they tell their empire so their citizens don't turn against them and join the rebellion.

And just like that, without so much as speaking to anyone yet and being sure that everything he knew was a lie, the seed of doubt against everything he was fighting so hard to protect was planted into Josh’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic truly amazes me bc the original ending went something like: josh tricks tyler into thinking he cares and then poisons him
> 
> funny how things change huh


	6. Gotta be numb to miss you like that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Josh is still too tired for any of this shit

Josh was beyond the realm of puzzled; he was in the middle of a full blown mid-life crisis at this point.

Everything seemed so casual and normal around him, between the loud buzz of conversations going on, the laughter echoing across the room, the effortless, composed movement of each person, and the fact they were smiling at Tyler as they passed, Josh wanted to yell at them that this wasn't a time to have _fun_. A war was waging out there in the real world while these rebels were here, safe and sound, away from the fight.

Josh wouldn't be surprised if none of them had seen the gruesome reality of what their supposed weapons did to people.

He took a breath and turned to Tyler. “What is this place?”

“This _place,_ as you so finely put it, is where all my plans for the rebellion get shared and disputed for better or for worse.” Tyler told him, a soft smile on his lips, like he’d made an inside joke that Josh wasn’t a part of.

“All these people help you execute your ideas,” Josh clarified.

“Yes, they help ends meet.” Tyler shrugged, taking in the room around him proudly. “We compromise until we all agree on an action to take. Contrary to what you think, I’m not heartless, I do care what others think and have to say.”

“Could have fooled me.” Josh muttered, ignoring the way Tyler’s face fell. He deserved it.

“I trust everyone in this room with my life and in return they trust me with theirs.” Tyler said, reaching out to Josh before stopping himself. Hand dropping back to his side, he gave Josh an apologetic smile. “I may have lied when I told you I couldn't trust anyone earlier. See, I guess it was a test to see how well I could trust _you_.”

Of course.

“Uh-huh,” Josh’s mouth felt dry as he swallowed. “We’re already off to a bad start. We’ve been partners for less than an hour and you've lied to me already.”

Tyler’s smile only widened, irking Josh more than it should. He wanted to wipe that smile off his face somehow, make him feel bad for everything he’s done.

“I lied to protect the people I care for. The people in this very room,” Tyler nodded, fondness lacing his words as Josh’s anger faded. “They’re a family I never knew I could have and I’ll keep them safe if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

Josh felt his heart sink at his words, the idea of Tyler finding comfort in others wasn’t even something he’d thought was possible. Tyler had always been so closed off from the world, hiding his identity to the point of isolation. Josh wondered if Tyler ever loved anyone after him, the brief idea of him moving on making his stomach churn.

“That’s nice.” Josh replied, his words coming out harsher than he intended and he cursed himself for letting his jealousy get the best of him.

Tyler stared at him unblinkingly for a long moment before he spoke slowly, as if to make sure Josh understood him. “Nobody knows that this place exists. The elevator we came in? It stops a few stories up unless you have special authorization from me to get down here. That is, if you're someone who knows this exists.”

“Okay,” Josh shrugged, indifferent, praying for someone to come to his rescue and whisk Tyler into a conversation that didn’t include him. He needed to think about everything, his thoughts were a jumbled mess and the more information Tyler piled on him, the more Josh felt like his head was going to explode.

“You have to understand, I need to keep them safe,” Tyler touched his arm to keep his attention on him and gestured to the handful of rebels around the room with the other. “I won't let what happened to you happen to them.”

“What happened to _me_?” Josh replied incredulously, offence taking over his features as he pulled his arm out of Tyler's grasp. “What, having an opinion and disagreeing with your morals? God, you insufferable prick, I can't believe you.”

“No, not that,” Tyler growled, not taking his insult lightly as he grabbed Josh’s shirt in his fist and pulled him forward. “I meant you getting hurt, you absolute heathen. Don’t put words in my mouth. You already know that the rebels in this room refute me if they think I’m doing something wrong.”

“Okay, _sure_.” Josh spat, pushing Tyler away with a glare fixing him in place, warning him not to get closer. “I don’t trust you.”

“That’s fine,” Tyler snapped back, his shoulders tensing and eyes narrowing. “Because, quite frankly, I—”

“Tyler!”

Both Tyler and Josh’s heads snapped toward the sound of the voice. Josh watched as the petite woman bounded up to them, blonde hair tied up in a ponytail and eyes so blue they put the sky to shame. She didn’t even glance in his direction as she smiled brightly at Tyler and Josh wanted nothing more than to turn and go to let her have her moment of privacy with the general beside him when he saw the hope swimming in her eyes. Hope and something else, something deeper, something he had recognized on his own face once upon a time. It made her smile genuine, white teeth contrasting against tanned skin.

She wore black jeans and a blue sweatshirt that was way too big on her, the sleeves falling to her palms. Risking a side glance at Tyler, he noted that he was looking at her the same way, his previously tense shoulders during their argument now relaxed, every bit of stress gone. His smile was gentle, lacking the sharp touch and edge of his witty remarks at Josh, or the danger incorporated in his mischievous smirk that made Josh’s heart stop because he knew it all too well.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Tyler murmured to her, reaching over to cup her cheek. She leaned into it, closing her eyes briefly before focusing back on Tyler. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, don’t worry.” She replied quietly, their tones hushed as if sharing a secret, and Josh felt like he was intruding. He shifted his weight to his other leg uncomfortably and her eyes settled on him. “Is this who I think it is?”

Tyler chuckled, brushing the pad of his thumb along her cheekbone before letting it drop. “Yes, it is. Be nice.”

“I’m _always_ nice.” She exaggerated, sticking her hand out toward Josh. “Hi! I’m Jenna and you must be Josh.”

Josh took her hand, shaking it firmly while his lips twitched into an uneasy smile, unsure how to answer. “Uh—”

“Don’t worry, I know lots about you already, so this doesn’t have to be one of those awkward introductions.” Jenna continued, letting go of his hand and getting up on her tiptoes to assess him further.

“Jenna.” Tyler said in warning, but the amused undertone took away from the fact. She waved him off, making an approving sound when she found what she was looking for on Josh’s face.

She took a step back, leaning into Tyler while Josh just stood there looking like a damn moron. Yes, he decided once and for all, the cell was the better place to be. He could deal with his headaches in his cell; over here he had to constantly talk to people. People he didn't _want_ to talk to, no less.

“He _is_ cute.” Jenna whispered, though she did it loud enough for Josh to hear, tossing him a wink. “Can I keep him for myself?”

Josh choked on his own spit, glancing at Tyler for help, or maybe some sort of defense against his honour, only to see him in the midst of a bout of laughter. Jenna looked smug right next to him, grabbing Tyler’s hand and twining their fingers together when he put his arm around her shoulders while he laughed to keep himself upright. Jealousy sparked in Josh, but he ignored it in favour of focusing on what the hell this girl just said.

“I'm not some kind of possession!” Josh spluttered, his pale cheeks colouring a lovely shade of red. “I don't belong to you, and I sure as hell don't belong to _him_!”

Jenna laughed, the sound like chimes on a windy day, so light and airy his eyes softened from their glare. He internally cursed himself out, _why do you let your emotions get the best of you? Now look. They're laughing at you for being a whiny baby and will never take you seriously._

He really needed to control his outbursts and learn how to keep a poker face, like when he disagreed with his generals all those months ago but couldn't say anything about it. Keeping a fake smile on his face had seemed so much easier back then instead of practically bursting with emotions like he is now. Josh looked at all the technology around them and suppressed a sigh; if they could build things with them, then maybe they could remove his emotions from his brain so that he’d never react to anything again. That would be ace, this whole emotions thing was, for the most part, tiring.

“I’m sorry?” Jenna tried apologizing, the gist of it coming out more as an unsure question. Tyler bit his lip, glancing between Josh and Jenna like they were his favourite sitcom.

“Are you?” Josh sighed, bringing a hand up to wipe at his eyes, black dots exploding behind his eyelids as he rubbed. “All right, listen, I get it was a joke. _I get it_. But I’m so tired, I can't even see straight right now. So please, just. I don't know.” He looked at Tyler helplessly. “Is there anywhere I can sleep?”

“Of course.” came the automatic answer.

Josh waited, but nobody moved. Lacking patience, Josh crossed his arms, annoyance clear. “Well, take me to it, will you?”

“You know what?” Tyler drawled, leaning closer to Jenna, almost towering over her as he smirked at him. “I don't think I’m quite ready to bring you there yet.”

The growing frustration in Josh made him clench his fists together as he lowered them, his jaw clenching so he wouldn't say exactly how much he hated the man across from him. Between the fatigue and stress, he was an active volcano, unstable and ready to erupt with everything he was feeling at any given chance.

“Quit teasing him, Ty. He’s clearly had a rough day.” Jenna defended him, placing a hand on Tyler’s chest to push him back playfully.

 _Ty._ Josh seethed, biting his tongue from lashing out at her when she came to his defense, but Tyler never let anyone call him that. Including him. He had hated the short, childish connotation attached to it and had scolded Josh whenever he’d slipped up and spoke the nickname as easily as waves crashing down on sand.

“I guess the introductions can wait,” Tyler hummed thoughtfully, absentmindedly pressing a kiss to the crown of her head before letting her go. “Fine. I’ll show you to your room.”

“How generous of you.”

Tyler grinned at him, and Josh was too busy being petty and sleep deprived to find it anything less of annoying. Stupid boy with his stupid pretty face and his pretty girlfriend that Josh couldn't even compete with which, speaking of, where did she go?

Josh looked around for her, but she was gone, lost in the sea of people and computers.

“Jenna’s gone to do her own thing, I’m assuming.” Tyler told him, answering his thoughts, a teasing lilt in his voice. “Probably planning the murder of an entire town as we speak, bless her precious heart.”

“I don't care.” Josh snapped crudely, then sighed rubbing his eyes again. “Sorry.”

“You’ve always been adorable when you're tired.”

“Stop doing that.” Josh followed him into the elevator, taut and lacking the ability to take anything seriously anymore. If he was even pouting, well, who cares. He didn't anymore.

“Doing what?” Tyler questioned, eyebrows raising in genuine curiosity as he pressed a button on the elevators panel, the doors sliding shut right after. He turned to Josh when they began to move upward, waiting.

“Bringing up the past,” Josh stared ahead at the metal doors, his own altered reflection staring back at him, all tired eyed and frowning. He pursed his lips and looked down at his shoes. “The past doesn't matter anymore. You’re not the Tyler I knew and I’m not the Josh you knew. We might as well be strangers meeting for the very first time.”

Tyler doesn't say anything, and Josh counted it as a small blessing.

They're quiet as they wait, but Josh could feel Tyler’s eyes on him, scanning every inch of his body even without having to look at him to confirm it. He could feel the heat creeping up his chest the longer he could feel the lingering gaze, his eyes never leaving his barely kept together black sneakers. Everything in him was screaming at him to look at Tyler, to acknowledge the boy with something other than diligent hostility, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Maybe once he’s rested and thought things through and deemed Tyler an official ally, but only then.

Right now he just wanted to sleep.

When the elevator lurched to a stop, Josh didn't bother waiting for Tyler before getting out, the small confinement of the room was starting to make him feel claustrophobic, like there wasn't enough air in it for the two of them. He took a deep breath, willing himself to stop being childish, that he was better than that, and turned to face Tyler.

Tyler, who was smiling as if he knew the exact conflict going on within Josh.

“What?”

Tyler just shook his head, “Oh, nothing to worry about, darling.” The smile never left his face, and it made him look younger, more youthful than when he was wearing his prominent scowl. Josh could practically see all his memories of the two of them, laughing and carefree before all of this war nonsense broke out, and he had to wonder where he went wrong again.

He stared at Tyler, his eyes soft and trying to understand when Tyler moved toward him, quick in his strides. For a moment Josh thought he was going to shove him against the wall and—well. He stopped the thought there, not wanting to think of it, the idea too absurd even now. Tyler doesn't want him, he probably never truly did and besides that, he had someone else anyway.

That knowledge didn't stop him from shuddering when Tyler only brushed past him, his shoulder barely grazing his own while the image of Tyler and him was still fresh in his mind. He definitely blamed it on being tired because Tyler was the last person he wanted. Definitely.

He tailed Tyler like a lost puppy though, glancing around and trying to memorize the hallways and rooms in case he ever found himself in a position where he could escape. The idea of getting as far away from here seemed significantly more enticing now.

Tyler stopped in front of a door, turning toward him smoothly with a wave of his hand and Josh straightened up, alert. “Your room.”

Josh nodded, opening his mouth to ask for the code to get in.

“Ah, ah,” Tyler chastised, stopping him with an apprehensive look on his face, though a smile played at the edges of his lips. “There are some things you need to know first. Important things, might I add.”

Josh gave him a look that, if it could, would make Tyler drop dead. Now _that_ is a power he’d like to have.

 _Just keep calm, Joshua,_ he tried to pep talk himself. _Just keep calm enough to get the code. Do it for the sleep. The sleep? Is that proper English? God, I’m so tired, let this be quick._

“All right, I’ll bite, flame prince.”

Tyler bit his lip, eyes brightening at the sound of the nickname, _again_. That’s twice Josh let it slip out and he honestly wanted to punch himself for it. They weren't friends, this wasn't allowed, he shouldn't be getting familiar with him again.

“Well, firstly, this room is yours indefinitely. You may recognize the floor because my room is down the hall; if you ever need anything, you know where to find me.” Tyler spoke calmly, his voice soothing Josh’s nerves despite trying to fight it. “Secondly, and as much as I wish we didn't have to do this, you'll have guards at your door, rotating around the clock. You'll always be watched, but as it were, I’m getting the same treatment.”

Tyler doesn’t seem too thrilled with the arrangement either, but Josh still sneered, his fists clenching over and over, itching to hit something.

“So I’m still your prisoner. Great. Fucking fantastic.”

“You’re not so much a prisoner, as you are an important piece of this puzzle.” Tyler explained, leaning against the door and crossing his ankles one over the other. “Someone wants to kill you, just as they do me; it’s for your safety. Consider it a protection detail.”

“Whatever, I’m done.” Josh waved a hand dismissively, moving into Tyler’s personal space to open the door himself, not caring how many millions of combinations he’d have to do in order to get in before he realized what he was doing.

Tyler planted his feet on the ground, unmoving, and Josh’s face heated up again, the air around them buzzing with anticipation. Tyler’s eyes were so inviting, so familiar this up close, his pupils slightly dilated and his lips stretched into a smirk, as if waiting, _daring_ for Josh to make a move. Josh swallowed as he tried tearing his gaze away, opening his mouth to say something, but what could he say? What could he say that wouldn't embarrass him or _worse_. Because, despite how tired he is, a night of letting go and finding some semblance of bliss seemed far better than waking up and having to deal with more issues and problems.

“Josh.” Tyler’s breath was hot against his skin, and it would be so easy to stretch up on the tips of his toes and let their lips brush together, a small indication that Tyler should stay with him so easy to articulate like that.

But Tyler was still the person who left him behind. Tyler still ruined everything he hoped to have in his life and then had the audacity to move on like they'd never been together. Tyler took it all away without a second thought at the consequences it would have for Josh and that was enough to clear his head of the stupid fantasy that creeped its way into it.

“Okay, yes, protection, whatever you say.” Josh placed a hand on Tyler’s chest, pushing him back, away from the keypad for the door and away from him. He wanted him far, far away. “Tell me the code and go.”

A flash of disappointment crossed Tyler’s face but it was gone and replaced by the blank, emotionless one he was always sporting before Josh could comment. Tyler reluctantly moved away, pushing himself off the door, but indulged Josh enough to give him the right numbers to access the room.

“Oh, and Josh?” Tyler called before Josh shut the door in his face. They locked eyes and Tyler nodded, a small, almost feral smile forming on his face. “I don't trust you either.”

Before Josh could reply, Tyler’s already turning on his heels and walking down the hall to where his own room was, leaving Josh to gape at his retreating figure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jenna is in this and she's going to be great because who doesn't love her 
> 
> anyway. i'm going to try and update this weekly, but don't expect it because i'm absolute shit at keeping a schedule. i will try, though. i promise. 
> 
> till next time, friendos


	7. When I'm alone, I'd rather be with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Josh gets a wake up call, and Jenna is glad to be the one to give it. And maybe Josh has another existential crisis... or five.

Josh was already awake when he heard the sound of knocking on his door. Just three gentle taps, the sound reverberating around Josh’s room like a surround sound speaker, momentarily taking his mind away from his harsh thoughts.

He had managed to sleep a solid 5 or so hours before his nightmares woke him up, reminding him why he had avoided sleeping so much when he was a soldier in the royal army, and when he first became a prisoner of war. The dreams taunted him, made him relive things that he didn't need more guilt for. He had enough of it, but he still piled it on and on until the burden of it was too much to hold onto and it broke him. He couldn't take that chance here, now, not when he’s at a disadvantage already.

The knocking persisted, making Josh’s senses heighten. He doesn't think people know he’s here and if they did, they’d know he was asleep since he’d been so adamant to be brought here for that very reason. Which begged the question: who was at the door?

Josh got out of the bed slowly, internally calling the cold to him, feeling it ice up his veins in the most exhilarating way possible, and approached the door. He was cautious, the fleeting thought that this could be dangerous and he should just ignore it going unlistened to since he wasn't one to back down from things like this. Besides, he’s been itching to fight since Tyler told him all about the assassin; this was an _opportunity_. He prowled closer to the door, a predator waiting to catch its prey, when he heard the gentle whisper of his name from the other side.

Dropping his stance, he pressed the code into the keypad and watched the door slide open to reveal Jenna. She was dressed in sweats and an old baggy t-shirt, her blonde hair framing her face messily.

“I hope I didn't wake you.” Jenna grinned sheepishly, holding her hands behind her back innocently.

“Not at all,” Josh replied with a raised brow. Jenna cleared her throat, staring past Josh as if there was something fascinating behind him. The realization that she was waiting to be let into the room dawned on him a moment later, and he begrudgingly stepped aside for her.

What was he going to do? Tell her to leave? She practically _lived_ here, he had no right.

She moved into the room with grace, her movements easy and confident, nothing like Josh’s nerves making his hands shake as he pressed the code to close the door. He fumbled for what to say, what to ask her to find out what brought her here as he leaned back against the door, not wanting to get closer to her just in case.

“I’m just here to get to know you a little.” She admitted as she walked around the room, eyes scanning the area around her. “Tyler, ah… he wouldn't be very pleased with me being here.”

“Why?” Josh found himself asking as she sat at the desk at the corner of his room, opening the drawers as if she’ll find something scandalous. Josh had already done all that in the hopes that Tyler gave him back his weapons now that they were working together, but he didn't find anything, much to his discontent.

“He doesn't want us to scare you,” Jenna crossed a leg under her to get more comfortable, closing drawer after drawer before giving up and settling her eyes on Josh, still at the door. “He thinks you’re overwhelmed and wanted you to rest. Can you sit down?” She added, tapping a hand on the desk. “You’re making me nervous just standing there. I’m not going to bite you like some rabid animal.”

Josh slowly walked toward the bed and sat down at the furthest edge away from her. “He’s not wrong, I guess.”

“No kidding,” She gestured to him with a yellow painted fingernail. “You look like a mess. The dark circles under your eyes are making _me_ tired. Why aren’t you sleeping right now?”

“Because you woke me up?” Josh tried, not the least bit offended.

“Nice try, but I could tell you were awake.”

“Oh, great. What’s your power then?” Josh asked.

She hesitated, her blue eyes filling with uncertainty, and Josh felt bad for springing the question onto her. Sometimes people felt self-conscious about what they could do, he couldn't fault her for that. She didn't look like she was going to attack him any time soon either, if he goes by her casual, albeit stiffened body, in the chair across him.

“I’m a tracker,” Jenna finally said, and Josh’s eyes widened. “But I can feel a person’s emotions when I track. You were distressed, afraid, angry and remorseful when I walked by your room, so I either caught you in a nightmare, or you were awake and thinking. I tried my luck.”

Josh’s mouth went dry as she spoke, his mind chanting _kill her, kill her, kill her, escape this place_ , over and over. This was Tyler’s tracker, the devil on his shoulder urged, she was the reason Brendon was dead and—

No. She wasn’t. Jenna was just doing her part in trying to help.

“Are you always this quiet?” Jenna kicked her feet onto his desk, leaning back in her chair, a pout on her lips, not knowing what she’s done. Did. God, why was this happening to him? “Do you, like, need to talk to someone? Because I’m all ears, bud.”

Josh snorted despite himself. “You’re not my therapist, Jenna.”

“But I totally could be.” Jenna pointed finger guns in his direction, and for the first time in a long while, Josh found himself _smiling_.

“Yeah, no, I think I’ll pass on that offer, thanks.” Josh drawled, moving up on the bed so he could rest his back against the bed frame. He brought his feet up, crossing them at the ankles, and worried at his bottom lip. Jenna nodded sagely, like he’d made the right choice.

They stayed silent, both basking in the others company and Josh hadn’t realized how badly he didn't want to be alone. It had been such a long time since he’d found genuine companionship and not the solitary confinement of a prison cell that he kind of wanted to cry. He wasn't _going_ to, because that totally wouldn't add to his tough and mysterious character he’d been building up, but he wanted to. He was allowed to want things. Besides, Jenna seemed kind and like someone who doesn’t do things without reason.

There had to be a reason she joined the rebellion. People don't just commit _treason_ because they felt like it.

“I have nightmares.” Josh offered, looking down at his hands and wringing them nervously. He may not want Jenna to be his therapist, but his tone had an _I tell you something, you tell me something_ suggestion to it. Jenna picked up on it, her face lighting up as a smile brightened her tired face.

“About what?” She asked, surprised that he had even said anything.

He tossed her a small grin, shrugging. “Wouldn't you like to know?”

“That’s why I asked.” Jenna pouted, rolling her head back and sighing up at the ceiling. Her smile turned over, a frown morphing her face into sadness. “Tyler has nightmares, too.”

“Does he now?” Josh couldn't help the bitterness on his tongue, his heart constricting in pain _for_ him when he should be aloof and uncaring.

“Oh, yeah.” Jenna nodded, looking back at him seriously. She paused at the sound of footsteps near Josh’s door, continuing only when they passed. “He wakes up screaming more often than not. It’s—he doesn't like talking about it either.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Josh muttered, glaring down at his hands.

“He dreams of you.”

“And how would you know that?” Josh snapped, clenching his hands into fists. “Can you see other people’s dreams, too?”

“Of course not,” Jenna scoffed, and Josh looked at her in time to see her shrug. “He told me.”

“He told you,” Josh repeated, mouth curling into a rueful smirk. “Tyler told you he dreams of me.”

Josh wouldn't necessarily talk to his new girlfriend about an ex, but Tyler apparently had no qualms with it.

“Yeah, of what he did to you.” Jenna sighed deeply, like she didn't appreciate Josh’s petulance. “He told me he relives it, most of the time. The fight you guys had where you almost killed each other.”

“It was…” Josh swallowed, pausing when the overwhelming need to yell bubbled in his chest. He soothed it down before he continued. “It was a bad fight. Kind of our break up, if you will.”

“A break up that had him deemed dead to the empire,” She snorted, waving a hand dismissively. “And you didn't even bother to correct them, to point out that he was still very much alive. You, Josh Dun, gave him hope when you and I both know there was none.”

“How dare you?” He growled, his fingers curling into the fabric of the sheets. “How _dare you_? You know absolutely _nothing_ about my relationship with Tyler. I gave him hope of what exactly? _Joining him_? Betraying my people? Please. Everything he got was what he deserved.”

Jenna was the one to get up, angry as she bared her teeth in a snarl. “You gave him hope that love could overcome this stupid war!”

“If _he_ loved _me_ ,” Josh got up, too, walking toward her until they were mere feet apart. “He wouldn't have taken everything from me.” He watched her face drop, nodding as a cold, icy smile curled on his lips. “And I didn't tell the royal family he was alive because I didn't want to be seen as a liar and a coward. It had nothing to do with protecting Tyler.”

She stepped away from him, and Josh felt guilty for lying. Of course he lied to protect Tyler. He lied in the hopes that Tyler would come home and forget about starting this war. He had had this fantasy of them running away, of getting their happy ending without the fight, but Jenna didn't need to know that. No one needed to know that, least of all Tyler.

“Why did you come here? What do you want?” Josh demanded, tired of dancing around the question.

“I only wanted to talk.” She raised her hands up, a show of surrender. “I do want to get to know you.”

“Why? Why would you—”

“Because we’ll be working together, right?” Jenna snapped back, waving a hand around her. “Or have you forgotten where you are and the deal you've made?”

Josh clenched his jaw, moving to sit at the edge of the bed again.

“You're in a rebel base, Josh, and you should consider making some friends here because not everyone likes you.” Jenna continued, not harshly. It was a statement, fact.

“So, what? Everyone here knows of my past with Tyler?”

“No,” Jenna shook her head, sitting on the bed, too, the space next to Josh. “Not everyone. But the ones who don't know dislike you for being a royal soldier.”

Great. Just great. That’s exactly what Josh needed: more people trying to get him killed.

“I can protect myself, thanks.” Josh defended, back to wringing his hands nervously. He wished he had his knife to twirl. He’d gotten so used to it. “Besides, why do you even care? You’re with him aren't you?”

“With him?” Jenna asked, confused and momentarily slapped out of her anger towards Josh.

“Yeah, _with_ Tyler,” Josh waved to the door, raising his eyebrows at her confusion. “Dating? Together?”

Jenna stared at him dumbfounded for a second, and Josh was going to go further into detail of what exactly dating was, sarcastically, when she burst out laughing.

“You think—that Tyler—” She tried getting out between her laughter, but essentially gave up, doubling over and clutching her stomach as the sounds evaporated to noiseless gasps for breath. Good God, what the fuck had he said that made her laugh like this?

Josh waited, as patiently as he could, until she was finished. She had tear tracks on her cheeks when she straightened back up, looking at him with a warm grin of admiration. She was lovely, Josh realized, and he could understand why Tyler would choose her.

“You're an idiot,” She said, and Josh took it back. “We aren't together. I mean, yeah, we might have slept together once or twice, _okay,_ seven times, but it was a fun thing, you know. Let off some steam.”

Relief washed over him like the wind on a chilly winter day and he didn't understand why this was such a big deal to him. He shouldn't care about this, it wasn't his place to care, not anymore. Not ever. He wasn't going to be sucked down this path again, the rabbit hole had closed for him and he wasn't going to fall back in.

“Oh.” He said, blinking owlishly.

“Yeah, _oh_.” Jenna mocked, chuckling again and shaking her head. “ _Men._ ”

Josh picked at a fray in his shirt, stunned at the dig and the relieved feeling in the pit of his stomach. He looked up at her, an infuriating smirk on her lips as she raised an eyebrow at him, coaxing him to ask whatever he was thinking.

“How’d you end up here?” He whispered softly, his fingers stilling as her smirk disappeared.

He kind of hoped she would tell him to screw off before storming out and leave him alone with his thoughts again, or to punch him and make him feel pain like he had just yesterday. Hell, he even wouldn't mind if she told him to leave the room and give her space. He just wanted anything other than this friendly, familiar situation he’d gotten himself in. The rebels weren't allies, they were people that he had killed without a second thought when he was still a soldier, unable to distinguish the familiarities between himself and them. Now he does though, he understood them and why they were doing this and he wished he didn't, he wished so damn badly.

“My mother used to bake with me every week, on Friday nights. She wouldn't have time to during the week or weekend, you see, she worked a job that took her away from me most of the time. Most of my youth she had been gone,” Jenna started in a low voice. “But not Friday nights. That was _our_ night. It was like that from my childhood to my teens to, well, my twenties.”

“Then she disappeared.” Jenna shrugged, but Josh saw her visibly tense up as the words left her mouth. “I didn't see her on Friday night, and I thought, oh work kept her, it’s okay. But then the following Friday it happened again, and the following one, again and again. I was afraid; she hadn't called, hadn't left a note. What was I supposed to do? I filed a missing persons report only for the cops to tell me they couldn't do anything to help me.”

“Bills started piling up, so I started working at a local shop to get some money to pay my rent since my mother was gone. I didn't want to think she was dead, I just… I thought maybe she needed a getaway. An escape from her life. From _me_.” She gave a wet laugh. “From me, definitely. Weeks of feeling like everything was falling apart turned to months and then… then I met Tyler.”

Josh's heart sped up, his breath catching in his throat. Tyler knew her before any of this. How had he been so blind as to not notice him going out and meeting up with people to plan this entire thing?

“Don’t make that face, Josh. It was nothing like that back then. Like I said, he loved you.” Jenna assured and Josh fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Anyway, we became friends. Good friends. I trusted him with everything, including the disappearance of my mother. When I told him, he swore to me that he would figure out what happened to her and he did.”

Jenna was quiet for a beat, eyes somewhere else as she reopened a scar at Josh’s request. “He did.” She repeated, voice cracking.

“I’m sorry, you don't have to tell me—” Josh tried to stop her, the topic clearly hurting her and wow, he was an asshole. A huge asshole.

“Stop and _listen_ to me,” She told him, her glare making him shut up. “He found out that her _employers_ thought she was embezzling money and selling information to others. My mother could never steal money, first of all, it went against everything she stood for, but they had her executed anyway. No trial, no proper jury. Just plain unjustified murder.”

“How?” Josh whispered, scooting over closer to her. “They can't do that, it—it’s not _right_.”

“That’s just the thing, isn't it,” Jenna said, her eyes flickering between anger and sorrow. “You can get away with anything when you're the royal family.”

Josh felt like he’d been punched in the gut, the air being knocked out of him like it was the easiest thing to do. They had hurt her, this innocent girl and her mother, for nothing. He wanted nothing more than to take his weapons and destroy everything the royal family built. Get rid of the empire and them in the process, a growl lodging itself in the back of his throat at the thought. He’d been _defending_ these people for years! How fucking naive had he been?

He took a deep breath, calming himself down and shame built up inside of him. The thing was, Josh wasn't stupid, he was actually quite smart when it came down to things and it came in handy when someone was trying to manipulate him. This felt an awful lot like one of those moments and he couldn't afford to be gullible. There was no proof of any of this happening and the royal family had been nothing but kind to him.

“I think,” Josh said slowly, getting up from his spot on the bed. “That you need to go.”

Jenna doesn't seem upset by his bluntness, nor does she look sad at sharing a story that, if proven true, ruined her life and being completely brushed off about it. Josh wasn’t trying to be rude either, he’s just had enough social time for the night and wanted to be alone again.

They walk to the door together, Jenna speaking only when Josh pushed the code into the keypad. “Tyler isn't a bad person, Josh. And neither are you. You’re both trying to do what’s right and I can respect that, but right now, you need to put aside that difference and _help_ _us_. We’re all on the same side right now, so let’s act like it, yeah? Tyler always says, before we go on missions, this mantra that goes ‘peace will win—”

“—And fear will lose.’ I know.” Josh finished, knowing the saying well after having heard Tyler tell it to him when they lived together. It seemed that some things never changed. The door slid open. “And yet if that were the case this war would have ended ages ago.”

Jenna gave him a quick peck on the cheek as the door began slipping shut with a hiss and she smiled at him again once she was on the other side, a fake one that didn't reach her blue eyes.

“Nothing is ever that simple, Josh.”


	8. I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Josh gives zero fucks because he's bored. He'll fight anyone, he'll fight you, he'll punch a fuckin' bee if he has to. fwh

“I’m glad to see you well rested.”

“Cut the shit,” Josh hissed, moving out of his room as the door closed behind him. “Two days, Jenna. I’ve been in there for _two days_! I thought I wasn’t a prisoner!”

Jenna kept her composure, hair back up in a ponytail like the first time he saw her and a mischievous glint in her eyes, like she was waiting for him to try something. He noticed the two guards on either side of her, their hands over their belts where he knew weapons were, their eyes narrowed in warning and he laughed incredulously.

“Okay, all right, I guess our heart to heart the other night never happened.” Josh nodded, raising his hands up by his head, showing the guards that he was no harm. “Where’s Tyler?”

“You’re not a prisoner,” Jenna ignored his question, tilting her head and beginning to walk down the hall. “It just wasn't safe for you to leave your room.”

“What, so I’m grounded? Is that it?” Josh followed her, annoyed that they were treating him like a kid unable to protect himself. Jenna didn't give any indication that she heard him, so Josh grabbed her arm and pulled her back. “Hey, I asked you a question.”

Jenna smiled, feral and with no ounce of the gentleness he saw from her the other night. “And I chose to ignore it. My orders were to keep you out of harm's way and that’s exactly what I did.”

Josh grit his teeth together, jaw flexing as she pulled her arm out of his grip. He watched her straighten out her sweater dramatically, and Josh was tired of this weird little game she was playing. Was this another trust exercise, to see if he’d snap?

Josh leaned in close to her, eyes locked on to hers. “Where is Tyler?”

“He’s on a mission.” Jenna relented, raising her arm to the guards behind Josh who had readied their weapons, the hiss of a taser and the click of the safety being pulled back from a gun too familiar to Josh’s ears these days. “Now if you're satisfied, we’ve got to introduce you to the team. We’re two days behind schedule.”

“Wh—” Josh began, face contorting in confusion as she began walking away again. “No, I’m not satisfied! What kind of mission? I could have _helped_.”

They made it to the familiar elevator, Jenna’s impassiveness getting on Josh’s nerves. He doesn't know why she’s acting so cold toward him all of a sudden, but two can play that game and Josh was better at it.

Jenna sighed when the elevator began getting cooler as they descended, Josh’s frustration leaking into the air. “This isn't the kind of mission you would've liked to help.”

“Ah,” Josh said, catching on. “This was a rebellion mission.”

“Yes.” Jenna nodded curtly, lips pressed into a thin line as the doors slid open, revealing the sight of everyone working to Josh again. He doesn't think he’ll ever get used to it, all the advanced technology rattling him more than he cared to admit.

Before they walked off in the direction of the crowd, Josh grabbed Jenna’s hand, holding her back. “If I find out this is all a lie to keep me here, I swear I’ll—”

“It’s _not_ a lie.” Jenna replied, cutting him off before he could finish, firm and matter-of-factly, like this answer came to her as easy as breathing, like the sun rising and setting.

And the funny thing was, Josh believed her.

 

* * *

 

Josh was getting familiar.

He was introduced to everyone, greeting them all with cold eyes, and despite not wanting to let them in and befriend them, he figured he’d have to work with them so the least he could do was conversate every now and then. The problem with that was that, unbeknownst to him, he’d be very, very bored waiting for Tyler’s return, and talking to the rebels passed the time.

He learned how Ashley, a 23 year old artist with a shaved head and a pixie nose loved to help draw all their blueprints when they came up with plans, and engineer their planes and weapons on the simulator before building them.

He met Colin and Michelle, a science couple who designed the special weapons with chemical applications on them, because they don’t trust any of their machines to do it without blowing something up. They would know, they’d explained; they tried. It hadn't ended well.

He got thrust into a conversation on how _exactly_ he manipulated ice with a tall, albeit lanky blond man who went by Newt, his English accent mixed with amusement and actual curiosity. He was in charge of watching the security cameras, he’d told him. _One of the most important bloody jobs in this place_ , he scoffed while at least half the workplace rolled their eyes at him.

There's Mark and Debby, the tech crew who work mainly with the computers; they scan buildings and places to see if it’s safe to ambush, meet up at, acquire safe houses, etc. Josh doesn't want to know how they got a satellite to be able to do that, and he doesn't ask.

There’s Luke, a young shaggy haired boy who used to live on a farm before the empire took his and his aunts land. Now, he helped build things after always having a passion for mechanics to help make a difference. Josh doesn't roll his eyes or tell him he’s on the wrong side, he just nodded in understanding, clapping a hand on his shoulder. The boy practically _beamed_ up at him proudly.

Then he saw  _Ashley_ , but this wasn't an ordinary Ashley. This was his _sister_ and what the hell was his sister doing in a rebel base surrounded by rebels on a sub-level floor that only special rebels got access to? He’d told her exactly that, his words angry and demanding, only for her to inform him calmly that he’s missed quite a lot at home, and that she’s one of the best pilots here.

Josh thought he blacked out for a minute trying to process this, then promptly started hyperventilating. His sister. A pilot. A _rebel_. He doesn't know whether he’s proud of her or completely and utterly horrified. He’s too afraid to ask if Abigail and Jordan are with her, so he doesn't.

That said, he could go on and on about the people here, but the point was he started getting familiar, and he started getting friendly, and he found himself caring for these people and how their days went every day. Boredom does that and when you've got a room full of interesting people all too excited to tell you more about them, how could you not get a little bit attached?

He knew he’d got himself into a huge fucking mess, he doesn’t need anyone to tell him. Instead, he did what any adult in his position would do and chose to ignore it completely, pretending that these people weren't rebels and instead were normal people. No lines blurring them as royal soldier and rebels, no good and bad, wrong and right: just normal people who weren't at conflict.

It eased Josh’s mind enough.

Jenna, for the most part, hadn't stopped being indifferent and cold toward him and Josh realized, a little late for his liking, that her ambivalent exterior wasn't because she disliked _him_. It was mostly because she was worried about Tyler. Josh understood her concern was one that came from deep within her, not quite from love, but something near it.

“You don't have to worry for him, you know,” Josh told her when they were alone. “He’s smart. He can take care of himself on this, uh, mission.”

Jenna smiled, a knowing gleam in her eyes. “Is that what you tell yourself? That he’s capable of surviving, so there's no need to worry?”

And damn, he had to give her that one.

No matter where they were, what place they were at or who they were to each other, Josh would think about whether he’s safe, whether people are trying to kill him as he spoke to Jenna, if he would make it back. It was as if the questions came at a rapid fire pace the longer Tyler wasn't there and his thoughts delved into the darker edge of _I should be there with him_.

Nevertheless, he got more confident the longer he stayed there, too. He doesn't approve of the way any of the rebels are handling the situation regarding him because one: they constantly left him in his room if they couldn't escort him to and from places, and two: Josh never followed orders anyway. So, naturally, when he was stopped by the two guards in front of him when he attempted to leave his room and fucking _explore_ the place, maybe find out where they kept the royal soldiers and set some free to cause some trouble, he just raised an eyebrow in question.

“Stop. You can't leave.” Guard one, who Josh knew now as Alex, told him.

“Yeah,” Guard two, Jack, agreed, raising a hand in warning. “It’s not safe.”

Josh just grinned, rolling his shoulders as he began walking backwards, away from them. “And what are you guys going to do, hmm? Seems to me like Tyler won't really appreciate it if you guys attack me.”

He continued walking, confidence surging the longer they waited, and when they hesitantly glanced at each other, worry crossing their faces, Josh knew he’d won this battle.

“That’s what I thought,” He waved before turning on his heels. “See you later. Don’t worry, I won't be out past curfew, dads.”

Josh heard them snort, probably a mix of their disbelief as much as it was toward Josh’s dumb joke, and Josh explored. He didn't find much, most floors being restricted for him, but he did find a gym.

He’d never been a fan of routines, but that had become his life for the next week. Visit rebels, talk, go to the gym, explore some more, repeat. It wasn’t as bad as he expected it to be, but he still felt the tug in his chest that he could be doing _more_ if they just let him. If they would just realize that he was fine without all the extra protection, that he can protect himself against whoever they think is a threat. Josh just wanted to be useful, if not in the royal army currently, than in this rebel facility. It didn't make him a traitor, just… resourceful.

Josh was sitting with Ashley, or as she insisted he call her,  _Halsey,_ to stop the confusion between which Ashley he was talking to, her or his sister, when Tyler stepped through the elevator doors, hair matted with sweat, tactical gear still on, and a bruise already blossoming on his jaw and cheek.

It was like everything around him disappeared, the constant noise gone as he stared at Tyler, alive and _here_. Tyler looked around until his eyes landed on Josh and they softened from their hard edge, his mouth moving with no sounds registering in Josh’s head.

Everything came crashing back when Jenna walked up to Tyler and all but smacked him, the sound of it making the entire room go silent. Eyes turned toward the two, waiting, anticipating Tyler’s reaction, and even Josh was prepared to step forward and diffuse the situation before it turned ugly if he had to. Jenna grabbed the front of Tyler’s tactical gear and pulled him down to her level, Tyler’s shock dissipating into a smirk of approval.

“If you ever, _ever_ , leave without your comm again, I’ll kill you myself. Are we clear?” Jenna told him lowly, eyes set into a hard glare.

“Yes, my dear. I’m sorry.” Tyler replied easily, knowing when and when _not_ to pick a fight apparently, and Jenna nodded, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Oi, leader, nice face,” Newt called to him from his seat, and Tyler pulled away from Jenna to give him the finger. “I thought you went to negotiate.”

“I _did_ ,” Tyler insisted, walking to the center of the room with ease now. “It turned into, ah… an aggressive negotiation. They had answers that they didn't want to share and I, being a good Samaritan, gave them incentive.”

Josh snorted, leaning back in his chair. Yeah, _right_. It seemed Josh wasn't the only one amused by this, others hiding their smiles and chuckles into their palms discreetly.

“Please tell me you didn't kill anyone at least.” Mark said, and Tyler turned to him scandalized.

“Me?” Tyler pointed to himself. “ _Kill_ someone? What do you take me for?”

“Tyler Joseph, leader of the Rebellion.”

“Oh, relax Mark, they'll be fine,” Tyler said, sitting down in a chair before pointing to his face. “I was the one who got hit. I didn't touch them none.”

Tyler got met with skeptical glances, but he just shrugged innocently, like the truth was right in front of them even if they didn't want to believe it. After spending so much time with the rebels, Josh was hit with a wave of admiration and longing because this was Tyler’s family. That’s why it came so easy to them to come at the other without reprimand or worry of hitting a nerve amongst themselves.

 _They’re a family I never knew I could have_.

“Josh,” Tyler’s voice caught his attention, appearing next to him. Josh swallowed before glancing up at him. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Josh said dryly, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “You?”

Tyler grinned, dimples on his cheeks and eyelashes flush against his bruised cheek as he looked down at Josh and Josh’s heart _yearned_ to reach up and caress the injury tenderly, to kiss away the pain. He shouldn't want this, not at all, but he couldn't help it.

“Never better.”

Everyone had begun circulating around the simulator, grabbing chairs from every inch of the room to sit on, and Josh realized that he was about to sit in on Tyler’s debriefing of his mission. Did he really want to hear the details of a rebel operation? He should ask to leave, the idea of being a traitor settling in his mind again and making his stomach twist uneasily.

What he ended up blurting out was “Are you going to get your face healed?”

Tyler’s eyes widened in surprise at the sudden question before he began laughing, genuine and so unbearably lovely that Josh just scowled. Shifting his gaze to the circle of people, he noticed young Luke next to him, fidgeting nervously with a metal piece, his fingers tapping against it as if he was itching to put it where it belonged as fast as possible. Josh knew Luke helped build gadgets for everyone, his latest being a laptop with an electromagnetic pulse designed into it so that if someone’s prints didn't match the original access print, it shocked them unconscious. Jenna had requested it and so far it had worked fantastically.

He turned back toward Tyler when he heard his laughter quieting down. Tyler tilted his head in a way that gave Josh a better view of the bruise, purple and slightly swelled up at being so new.

“Does the bruise make me less handsome?”

“I mean, it’s not exactly a dick magnet.” Josh replied sarcastically, crossing his arms as Tyler bit his lip from laughing again, a smile pulling at his lips. “The whole wounded duckling thing doesn't work anymore.”

“It worked on me when you did it.” Tyler pointed out, and Josh kicked him under the table, a shocked laugh escaping him.

“I did not do the wounded duckling thing!”

“Then explain all the times I came and saved you from getting your ass beat.” Tyler grinned, waving a hand in a gesture that meant _go on_ and Josh was sure his jaw was on the ground. This wasn't happening.

“I never expected you to come to my rescue, okay,” Josh insisted, noticing a faded scar on Tyler’s cheek that hadn't been there before. “You just stalked me or something.”

“Or something.” Tyler winked, and Josh kicked him again with a groan. Tyler was still as annoying as he remembered, no amount of time apart would change that.

Tyler focused back on the group his face turning neutral again and addressed them, his tone demanding the attention of everyone.

“Rebel leaders.”

Everyone went silent, turning to face Tyler. Josh was shocked at the term, but it shouldn't have been surprising. If Tyler always ran his ideas through everyone here before executing them, it only made sense that they were all leaders of the Rebellion.

“Good.” He smiled, and placed his elbows on the edge of the simulator. “The mission went as well as can be expected; our ties with the north camp are still intact despite the violence that occurred. I think it was a long time coming between Thomas and I.”

Low murmurs of agreement.

“But you didn't hurt Thomas, did you?” Newt spoke up from across the table, his arms crossed and fingers gently tapping against his forearms.

Understanding flashed on Tyler face as he shook his head. “No, I didn't. As I said earlier, he was the only one to strike.”

Newt nodded, and Josh didn't understand the grateful _thank you_ he expressed toward Tyler. Josh felt like he was missing something, like he wasn't truly part of the conversations they'd all been having, and really, he wasn’t, but he still wanted to add his two cents in.

He just felt so fucking _useless_.

“However, Thomas did divulge information on our assassin.” Tyler continued, turning toward Josh to see if he was listening and turned back. “Their army is… complicated.”

“How?” Luke said from next to Josh, all eyes shifting to him and making him fidget again, uncomfortable with the spotlight.

“Thomas has encountered the army personally and he seemed quite reluctant to share anything he knew.” Tyler explained, bringing a hand up to rub at his jaw. “He was _afraid_. He told me that once the soldiers are killed they just vanish. No remains. The bodies just disappear.”

“That’s not possible.” Colin shook his head, Michelle confirming the same.

“I didn't think so,” Tyler agreed, worry forming in the lines of his face. “Thomas also said the soldiers were asking for Josh. Specifically.”

“What?” Josh whispered, his panic beginning to rise. “Why me?”

Tyler sighed, his hand tugging at his hair, a nervous habit he never quite broke. “I don't know. They didn't give a reason when they asked.”

This assassin was sending an _army_ to get Josh. What had he done to them to piss them off this much? Who _had_ he pissed off? He’d been constantly trying to figure out who disliked him at all through the years and he couldn't come up with anyone, not a single name. Josh was just likeable, he couldn't help that.

“I don't know what this army is, or why they want Josh, but Thomas said that one of the soldiers dropped this.” Tyler pulled out a communicator from his pocket, sliding it along the simulator panel toward Mark and Debby. “I was hoping either of you two could track the main contact to an address.”

Mark and Debby both lunged for it, a cry of victory coming from Debby when she snatched it first. Mark sat back, glowering and crossed his arms as Debby went to the computer to plug it in.

“That’s a simple thing to do,” Debby told Tyler, speaking a little louder to be heard by the group. The computer screen lit up on an access page, Debby pressing down on the keyboard without even glancing down. “I just need to get the password from the— _got it_.”

The computer screen lit up to a contact page, the only number being called having the ID as _Boss_. Debby hummed, switching screens and doing her job to trace the number, the screen zooming out to the continent then, after a few more clicks, zooming in to a specific location in Vegas.

“That’s where this Boss guy is.” Debby announced, and the group applauded lightly at her efficiency.

“Show off.” Mark muttered as she grinned and bowed dramatically.

“Well done, Debby.” Tyler told her, standing up. “I guess that’s where my next mission lies. Any oppositions?”

“Uh, _yes!_ ” Jenna raised a hand in objection. Tyler raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to explain. “You just got back. You need to rest, Tyler, not throw yourself back on another mission.”

“Don't worry, Jenna, darling,” Tyler assured her, a slow, lazy smile on his lips and his eyes dancing with fondness. “It’s just a simple reconnaissance.”

“Your last recon mission ended with an explosion.” Jenna hissed, getting up with her palms on the table as she leaned forward. Josh’s hands were beginning to sweat, the look of anger she was sending Tyler making him wipe them on his jeans, nervous _for_ him.

“An unfortunate circumstance, yes, but I was fine.” Tyler countered, a poor attempt to soothe her anxiety.

“At least sleep the night. Don't go rushing into it.” Jenna pleaded, and was met with agreement from the group. Tyler assessed them all, lips pressed into a thin line of discontent before he nodded.

“Fine. I’ll wait until tomorrow. Are we all in agreement now?”

“Just a simple recon, correct?” Newt reiterated for the sake of Tyler knowing he can't pull any shit. “Are you sure you shouldn't take backup? If this is where the leader of this is staying, I don't feel quite all right with you going alone.”

Again, nods across the room were met with an exasperated sigh from Tyler. He gestured to all of them as if to ask who of them would accompany him and Josh saw his opportunity to be useful. He could finally help instead of being confined in this building in the middle of nowhere.

“I’ll go with you,” Josh announced, lifting a sweaty palm to make himself known. “I’ll go.”

“I suppose it’s no use keeping you hidden anymore if they know you're with us.” Tyler murmured softly.

“It was never your decision to make in the first place.”

“Fair enough.” Tyler nodded, smiling sharply. “Time to put our trust to the test then, huh?”

Josh stood up, not letting Tyler’s teasing put him off this task. He has to do this, for his own sanity’s sake. He can't be stuck in here any longer or he’ll lose it completely.

“I’ll have your back as long as you'll have mine for the _mission’s_ sake.” Josh emphasized, crossing his arms. “Can you do the same?”

“If it comes to a battle, my dear Joshua, you know deep down I’ll keep you safe, whatever the cost.” Tyler practically purred, leaning down so that they were at eye level. “I can only hope you can have my back with the same level of ferocity.”

Josh squeezed his hands into fists, his nails cutting into the skin of his palms and he knew there would be small crescent shaped marks left behind. He doesn’t back down from Tyler’s taunting gaze, jutting his chin out defiantly. If anyone tried to hurt Tyler in front of him, Josh was sure he’d jump in to protect him without a second thought.

Tyler, taking Josh’s silence as an answer, straightened up, letting himself have one final sweep of the room. The rebels were watching their encounter intrigued, eyes lit up like they were the best gossip they'd had in months.

“Be ready for 1300 hours and please try to get some rest tonight.” Tyler ordered firmly, and Josh fought the urge to roll his eyes. “We’ve got an adventure ahead of us, Jishwa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick lil update to keep up my weekly update streak. 
> 
> If you hated this chappy, I'm sorry. Comment that you hated it, it'll fuel my passion for writing. Probably. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm dead in the middle of midterms and friendos, uni sucks. I am So Tired. 
> 
> Nevertheless, I'll catch y'all next week with a new update.
> 
> P.S. I couldn't care less about keeping every character involved in this strictly bandom, so if you know who the added book/movie characters are, you're a winner. If you don't, you're a winner, too. Everyone's a winner.


	9. Hold onto me, 'cause I'm a little unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Josh talks to his friend (FRIEND? WHAT?) and tries to understand exactly what he's got himself into. He comes to the inevitable conclusion that he's fucked.

Josh couldn’t sleep. It’s not like he hadn't tried, he closed his eyes and practically _willed_ his mind to stop thinking and let himself rest, but it just wouldn't come.

He threw the covers of his bed off of him and grabbed the sweatpants he’d thrown on his desk chair before leaving his room. The cold air of the hallway hit his skin and made him shiver, but he didn't go back to get a shirt. He just needed some air and to walk a little to clear his mind. Obviously he couldn't leave the building and go outside, but his room could get him feeling claustrophobic when he felt like this; he doesn't like the feeling of being trapped after having been a prisoner for so long.

As he anxiously roamed around the now familiar hallways, he noticed someone else a few feet ahead of him, tall and limping and familiar. Josh heard him sniffle, then watched him lean against the wall, the English lilt to his mutter of _‘bloody hell’_ almost making him smile if it weren't for Newt’s obvious distress.

“Hey, Newt.” Josh said softly as to not startle him, and raised a hand to stop him straightening up in surprise.

“Hi,” Newt nodded, leaning his shoulder back against the wall and looking him over suspiciously. “Shouldn't you be resting?”

Josh shrugged. “Can’t sleep.”

“Nervous?” Newt teased, though his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

“Nah, avoiding nightmares.” Josh admitted with ease, leaning his back against the wall and debating sitting down. Newt was clearly in pain, he’d been limping, but he was stubborn enough to stay standing if he had to.

 _I’ve only been here a week and I know how these people act already_ , Josh thought, a little horrified. He swallowed, pushing aside his fear and slid down the wall.

Newt gave him a look before grudgingly following him down, clenching his teeth when he straightened out his legs. He reached up, fingers closing around a necklace, twisting it around as if it were a habit. Josh eyed it curiously, pointedly not mentioning the wetness of Newt’s cheeks because really, Josh had imposed on him, right? If Newt needed to have a good crying session in the middle of the night he was more than allowed. Josh had just walked by during it. It wasn't a big deal.

They sat in silence, the hallway so eerily quiet that Josh could practically hear their breathing. He had no problem with the silent treatment, not at all, he was just glad that he wasn't alone again. It wasn't new that his thoughts plagued him these days, at least when he was around another person he could deviate his thoughts for a while.

His eyes were still fixed on Newt playing with the necklace, the cord long enough to hit the middle of his chest easily. Josh was surprised he hadn't noticed the simple thing before and he tried to make out the shape of it. It was round from what he could tell and when Newt noticed him trying to figure it out, he cleared his throat.

“It has a letter inside it.”

“Huh?” Josh asked, taken aback. He wasn't expecting that. “A letter? Why?”

“I… It’s hard to explain, really. You’re new here. You wouldn't understand.” Newt looked like he was talking more to himself than at Josh. He let go of the necklace, the small corded spherical shape falling effortlessly against his chest. “I wrote it for Tomm— _Thomas_. In case I die out here. Fearless leader is supposed to give it to him when it happens.”

It took Josh a second to realize he’s talking about Thomas from the meeting, and another to realize _Tyler_ is trusted with the task of delivering the message.

“You're not going to die, Newt.” Josh told him. It was an empty promise and they both knew it. All of them could die tomorrow for all they knew.

“A bit hard to believe that when I’ve seen it, mate.” Newt shrugged, glancing up at the ceiling and bringing his knees up. He rested his forearms against them, a sigh escaping his chapped lips. “‘S’all right. As long as Tommy gets this letter, I’ll be glad.”

“He’s important to you.” Josh stated, and Newt looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, aren't you a bloody genius?”

Josh chuckled. “Shut up. If he’s important to you, why are you here? And not with him?”

Newt stayed silent, his fingers wrapping around the cord again. Josh knew that this Thomas guy wasn't just a _friend_. Between his fondness dripping into his voice every time he called him _Tommy_ and the way he’s so vehement about giving him the necklace in case anything happened, it was clear as day. No one acted like that for just a friend and he almost felt bad for the two boys. If they were away from each other and hurting, what was the point of it?

“Circumstances prevent us from staying together.” Newt said carefully, eyes shifting to him as his lips curled upward, and Josh almost groaned at his vagueness. “He’s a good man, you would get along with him well, I think. He cares about others’ safety more than his own, that one. There was this one time when Tommy and I were stuck in a maze, can you believe that? Us and a few of our friends, yeah, we had a right blast in there.”

“How’d you get out?” Josh furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at Newt’s sarcasm. Mazes were impossible to get out of, even _he_ knew that.

Newt ducked his head, his cheeks flushing as he whispered his reply. “Tommy got us out. It wasn’t easy, but I told him that we needed to keep going because an awful lot of our friends died for us to get that far and that we couldn't give up—that _he_ couldn't give up and that I wouldn't let him. It seemed to have snapped something in him. He got us all out.” Newt let out a soft laugh. “Good that.”

“Yeah,” Josh said softly, swallowing and repeating the same words. “Good that.”

Newt laughed again, shaking his head at Josh’s reluctance. With his hair falling into his eyes and his arm rubbing at his knee absently, he sighed.

“You and Tyler…” Newt began, turning to look at Josh. “You're lucky. You found your way back to each other.”

“Nothing is stopping you from going back to Thomas.” Josh grit out, his heart constricting at the reminder. Tyler and him _weren’t_ supposed to be working together, it was never meant to happen and yet, here they were.

“There are many things stopping me from going back to him.” Newt told him, pursing his lips. “It’s absolute rubbish if I’m honest.”

“Tyler and I are only working together out of convenience.” Josh explained, tone clipped. “As soon as it’s done and over with, I’m leaving.”

“Do you truly think that?” Newt asked, a knowing smile on his face. “Because let me tell you, if I ever got the chance you have, mate, I’d never leave Tommy’s side again.”

Josh scoffed, shoulders tensing in annoyance. “You and him clearly have a better past.”

“Not quite,” Newt paused, moving the hair out of his eyes. “I’ve tried to kill him.”

“Join the club.” Josh muttered, shooting him a subtle glare.

“No, not like you and Tyler which, before you ask, I do know about.” Newt licked his lips, breaking their eye contact. “If I see Tommy, I’ll still try to kill him, but not because I want to. Something is wrong with me and it can't be fixed. Yet.”

Josh felt the air around them become thick and laced with tension, his eyes widening when he noticed Newt’s clenched fists on his knees. Newt was angry. The thought that he _couldn't_ go back to Thomas because someone had done this to him never even occurred to Josh. As much as he hated that Newt knew everything about him and Tyler, the fact that he was willing to share any of this with him when it was clearly a sore subject made up for it. Although it made Josh angry, too, to know that Newt had something terrible done to him that would lead him here of all places. Isolated from everyone he loved and hidden away like some sort of lab rat.

“How did it happen?” Josh whispered, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

“The honest answer? I don't know.” Newt admitted with a shrug. He was acting indifferent and like he didn't care, but that wasn't new to Josh. He knew it was a great way of pretending he wasn't hurting and avoiding people’s pity in the process. “I used to work with Thomas until our base got attacked. It didn't end well and next thing we knew, the two of us woke up in a room together without knowing how we got there. We brushed it aside, thought it a miracle we were still alive until the longer I stayed near him, the crazier I got.” Newt took in a shuddered breath. “I’d get these… black veins along my forearm, all the way up to my neck and cheek. It’d look like a virus spreading inside of me and eating at my head until I wasn't myselfanymore. We called it cranking out because I'd get angry and, well, cranky very easily.”

Josh peered at Newt’s arms now, seeing no sign of anything he described. “It only affects you when you're near him?”

“Unfortunately.” Newt narrowed his eyes as he studied his own arms, and Josh could feel his self-loathing. He reached out to comfort him, a small awkward tap on the shoulder. “I begged Tommy to kill me. I said things that… forget it, that doesn't matter. What matters is that I’m here now and I can't go back until this is fixed.”

“Do you know why someone would target you two?”

“I haven't got a clue.”

“We’ll find a way to fix it,” Josh promised, the words slipping out on their own accord. “You’ll get back to him.”

Newt just smiled, a sad one that doesn’t believe anything Josh was saying, but put on for show. He looked like he’d given up trying to find a cure for this already, and Josh wished he could help somehow. He was never good with words, but his actions always spoke louder. He’d find a damn way to fix this.

His mind drifted toward Tyler, the man he’d been on the fence about for years without any doubts on who he had become. Now, though, all of a sudden he was here and he spoke to Tyler and his family, and he had to throw everything he’d convinced himself of previously out the metaphorical goddamn window. He knew without even having to ask that Tyler was doing everything he could to find a cure for Newt. Josh may care with every fiber of his being, but so did Tyler, despite their lack of similar morals.

“Newt?” Josh spoke up again, continuing when the blond boy hummed. “Why would Thomas attack Tyler?”

At that, Newt laughed. A hand shot to his mouth in an attempt to muffle it, not wanting to be too loud and attract attention to their quiet hallway, but Josh heard it loud and clear.

“That was just plain Tommy being Tommy,” Newt said, struggling to stand back up, his arm reaching for the wall to steady himself. Josh did the same, offering the blond his hand. He took it, nodding gratefully. “Tyler won't tell him where I am for safety purposes and I agree with him on that; Tommy being near me puts both of us in danger. I reckon the fact that he couldn't see me and the fact Tyler still hasn't found a way to cure me didn’t sit well with him and both of them being as stubborn as they are...”

Josh nodded when Newt made a vague hand gesture to signify the situation. He understood why a fight would break out. If Josh wanted to see the love of his life and the person who knew where he was prevented him from doing so, he’d get aggravated, too.

 _The love of you life?_ The voice at the back of his mind taunted, it’s velvety smooth voice sending a shiver down Josh’s spine as it purred, _You mean Tyler?_

“Do you need help getting back to your room?” Josh blurted out, trying to ignore his thoughts. He’s begging them to go away, he doesn't need them, he’d much rather walk around like a mindless zombie than continue down this dangerous Tyler filled thought process.

“No, I’ll be fine.” Newt told him, both of them watching two guards round the corner. They all nodded toward each other in acknowledgement before continuing on.

Josh took in a sharp breath, steadying his anxious heart. He had to ask, he _needed_ to know. “Would you go back to Thomas if you disagreed with everything he was doing?”

Newt didn't even waver in his reply, the low, sure murmur hitting Josh like a freight train unable to stop. “Yes. I’d follow him anywhere.”

The air felt like it’d been cut off from his lungs, and when Newt clapped him on the shoulder, he held back a gasp for breath.

“You and I aren’t so different in that regard,” Newt sighed, letting his hand drop back to his side when Josh flinched. “Go get some rest, mate. Thanks for keeping me company.”

Josh could only nod mutely, not trusting his voice to speak, and gave him a weak smile.

 

* * *

 

He doesn't know why he stopped in front of Tyler’s room, trying to convince the two guards to let him in. Of course, the fact that Josh doesn't know the code to get into the room left the guards skeptical, but Tyler never mentioned it to him.

“Please, I need to talk to him,” Josh pleaded, hating the fact he’d sunk to this level. He kind of wished he’d thrown on a shirt now, too. “He told me if I ever needed anything I could come to him.”

“He’s asleep right now.” A guard replied monotonously, his eyes narrowed and untrusting. Josh couldn't blame him, but he was starting to lose his patience.

“Come on, if you hear us fighting you can barge in and knock me out. I won't even put up a fight.” Josh crossed his heart and waited. If they don’t let him in, he’ll knock them out himself out of pure spite before returning to his own room.

“All right,” The second guard relented, ignoring the sound of protest from guard one. “But if we hear anything, you're out.”

“Got it.” Josh waited for them to punch in the code and as soon as the door slid open, he went inside without a second glance at them.

The room was dark, save for the small light coming from the book Tyler had been reading before he fell asleep. The soft light illuminated his features, his face looking so relaxed and peaceful, the bruises looking more like shadows in the darkness, and Josh remembered how Jenna told him he had nightmares. He seemed perfectly fine now and Josh envied him, wanting nothing more than to get a good night's rest before this stupid mission. It seemed unfair that he could look like this, so serene with his disheveled hair and parted lips letting out soft snores, the covers low enough to show a small peek of black ink against his tanned chest, and fuck. Fuck this. Josh shouldn't have came here.

“I hate you.” Josh whispered hoarsely, and Tyler shifted slightly as if he’d heard. Josh could feel his eyes stinging, blurring the image of Tyler in front of him, but ignored it. “I hate you for making me feel like this.”

 _What am I going to do?_ was left unspoken, but the question echoed inside his head so loud it hurt.

He walked to the other side of the bed and hesitantly grabbed the pillow before returning to the head of the bed. Without much thought, he tossed the pillow onto the floor, following right after, and curling in on himself as his body shook with silent sobs.

_What am I going to do?_

Josh doesn't know. He doesn't know how he’ll survive this, he doesn't know how Tyler and him will do on this mission, he doesn't know how he’ll be able to leave if they succeed and take down this assassin and he certainly doesn't know how he’ll ever be able to face Tyler or his rebellion family and hurt them. He doesn't know how his own friends are doing, he doesn't know when his beliefs started to change and he definitely doesn't know when he started to feel more connected to what the rebellion was fighting for than the royal family.

 _What am I going to fucking do?_ was the last thing that crossed his mind before the darkness stole him away.

 

* * *

 

In his dreams, all his loved ones die. All his friends, his family, Tyler; they all die and he can't save them. Their deaths are always his fault in some form or another and that’s how he knew he was dreaming.

Sometimes it’s Brendon constantly running toward the bomb, sometimes it’s Josh who killed him, unable to control his powers and stabbing him. Sometimes he shot him, knifed him to death, threw him off a tall building. Other times it’s Tyler; he ends up killing him during their fight all those years ago, and he never has to lie about it. The royal family find his body and burn him, a mocking display of using Tyler’s power against him. Sometimes Josh killed him in his sleep on this base, sometimes he poisoned him. Other times he blew up the entire place, taking everyone out while he walked away unscathed.

Everyone always died in his nightmares, except him. Never him. He doesn't get that luxury.

He woke up whimpering, the nightmare getting the usual scream lodged in his throat, unable to come out. He sat up quickly, disoriented as to where the hell he was, when a presence in front of him made him look up.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Tyler soothed, dropping down to his knees slowly, keeping his hands up in front of him to show he’s not a threat. “You’re okay.”

“Tyler?” Josh rasped, his body shaking in fear and longing and everything in between.

“Yeah, it’s just me.” Tyler spoke softly, reaching for his hand slowly, until Josh doesn’t show any signs of pulling it away from him. “You had a nightmare.”

Josh laughed dryly, his voice coming out high and sharp. “No shit.”

“There you are.” Tyler grinned, running his thumb along Josh’s knuckles. “What are you doing in my room?”

Josh doesn’t answer; he doesn't even know why he stayed. He brought his free hand up to his face and wiped at his tear stained cheeks, trying to rid himself of the evidence that he was ever crying in the first place.

“I didn't want to be alone.”

It was truthful enough.

Tyler paused, scanning Josh’s face. “You didn't have to sleep on the floor.”

“What? And be attacked by your god awful octopus body the second I lay in the bed?” Josh scoffed, pulling his hand away from him and shaking his head. “No thanks, I’m good on the floor.”

“Well, good thing I’m leaving then,” Tyler sighed, getting up off his knees. He motioned with his head for Josh to get up, too. Josh realized with a sickening certainty that Tyler didn't _want_ to touch him again if he didn't have to. “You can sleep on the bed.”

“I don't get it.” Josh rushed out, getting up and dusting off his sweatpants to avoid looking at Tyler.

“I have meetings to attend either way, so I won't be staying. Please, don't act too disappointed on my account.” Tyler teased at Josh’s dumbfounded expression. “It’s only six in the morning, so you've got plenty of time to catch up on sleep.”

“I can go to my own room, you don't have to give up your bed.” Josh argued, already making a beeline for the door. _I shouldn't have stayed, fuck fuck fuck._

Tyler grabbed his hand and pulled him back, gently pushing him down to sit on the bed. Josh held his breath, his heart jumping into his throat and oh god, no, he can't want this. He looked up at Tyler and silently _begged_ for him to kiss him, even though his mind screamed otherwise, but Tyler paid him no mind.

“Nonsense,” The brunet dismissed the idea. “Just go to sleep, Josh. Stop fighting me about everything. I’ll see you later.”

 _He doesn't want you_ , the voice at the back of his mind trilled, laughing obnoxiously at his rejection.

“Okay.” Josh stuttered, laying down and facing away from him before pulling the sheets up to cover his burning face.

Turned out he wasn't going to die on a deadly mission, he was going to die of embarrassment. Great. Just fucking fantastic. Here he was, Josh Dun, soldier for the royal army being reduced to a scared, embarrassed mess because he couldn't handle looking his ex in the eyes after that awkward encounter.

He doesn't turn around when Tyler chuckled on his way out of the room after he'd gotten dressed. He just closed his eyes and prayed to fall into a coma, so he never had to face this terrible reality ever again. That’d be great actually.

Josh curled the sheets tighter around him, letting out a resigned sigh before he allowed Tyler’s familiar earthy scent to calm him down and lull him back into the endless abyss of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: subconsciously trying to find a way to fix everything the death cure ruined
> 
> Anyway. I sense a double update this week, if things go well!!
> 
> Also, unrelated, but I highly recommend everyone goes to see Black Panther. What a great movie, so relevant and thought provoking and fun!


	10. It comes and goes in waves, it always does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things happen, they prepare, and Josh does something in the heat of the moment that doesn't amuse Tyler. Or does it?

The thing about sleep was that it came and went so quickly for Josh that it was basically non-existent. Considering he hardly got a full night’s rest, well, _ever_ , the fact that he managed to keep himself under control after Tyler left was a miracle.

When he woke up, it felt like he’d only been asleep for five minutes, rather than the few hours he’d been given. He was still tired and Josh hadn't really expected the previous night—morning?—to have happened, thinking it must have been a dream, but waking up in Tyler’s room made it clear that it wasn't.

As he got out of the bed, still a little weirded out at being in Tyler’s room instead of his own, he noticed Tyler’s notebook on his desk, sealed shut with all the previously scattered papers nowhere in sight. Wiping his eyes one last time in an attempt to get the last remnants of sleep off of him, he walked over to it, slowly opening the book as if a monster would jump out and snap at him for touching it in the first place.

A chuckle passed his lips when he saw that everything was blank. Every page was crisp and brand new with no signs of anything ever being written in it.

 _Well played, Tyler_ , Josh thought, a little more impressed than hurt. Tyler doesn't trust him; it’s not exactly a secret. Josh doesn't trust him either.

The rest of the morning passed as if he’d been living the routine he’d gotten used to during his stay here. He walked to his room, ignoring the guards completely, showered, ate a granola bar that Jenna had stocked him up on once she noticed his mini fridge and drawers were empty and stared blankly at the wall. Jenna had been furious when she had noticed his lack of amenities. Josh remembered her muttered “Is Tyler kidding me?” before she left the room briskly and without another word to him too clearly. Josh had felt sorry for Tyler in that moment, but when she returned she had a bag full of food and water for him, so he counted it more as a win for himself than anything.

It was funny how he considered Jenna one of his closest friends now, too. They hung out often, sometimes even when Jenna was meant to be working on a task Tyler had assigned her and Josh found he enjoyed her company more than he expected to and vice versa—or so she told him. She was funny, wise beyond what she looked and made him feel as normal as an enemy should be to another. He knew from the start that he wasn't just spending time with her to be a spy for when he goes back to the royal army.

Not that he would leak any of the rebels’ information anyway.

As he waited for his supposed escort, he paced around his room, anxiously thinking of his return back to where he actually belonged. He wasn’t a rebel, but that didn’t change the fact he would never sell them out to his generals no matter how badly his stomach twisted up at the fact. _Traitor_ , his mind sneered, but he just couldn’t do it, not without it tearing him apart with guilt. The thought of the royal army storming into this base and killing everyone made him feel like his insides were molten lava and he was burning slowly. These people were his friends now, he couldn't let anything happen to them because of him and make his dreams a reality. He doesn't think he’d be able to live himself. He _wouldn’t_ be able to live with himself.

The rebels trusted him; that meant something important to him. Trust was hard to come by, it had to be earned constantly, especially during the war and Josh _knew_ that. To put your trust in someone—let alone an enemy like Josh was—was basically putting your life in their hands. He wasn't taking it for granted. Maybe that said more about who he was now than who he was a few months ago, but he doesn’t care.

Jenna came to get him a few minutes later, guards following her lead and her face scrunched up slightly as if she wasn't sure about something. Josh greeted her politely, trying to hide his uneasiness with a smile, then nodded to the guards before following her out the door and to the elevator. They were quiet as she pressed a code into the keypad that Josh didn't recognize and it made him raise an eyebrow in curiosity. He’d been memorizing floor codes with every escort; maybe one day he’ll put that knowledge to good use and sneak around, but until then, they were all on the same side like Jenna had so often reminded him.

“So, I heard you slept with Tyler last night. That was quick, all things considered.” Jenna said conversationally, eyes everywhere but on him. Josh felt his cheeks heat up, but the shit-eating grin on her face made him want to fire shots right back at her instead of just taking them.

“News travels fast around here, huh?” Josh pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Did it travel this fast when you slept with him?”

The guards next to them made choking noises at an attempt to smother their laughter. Jenna, on the other hand, gave him an offended scowl before she punched him in the arm so hard he winced, rubbing at it right after.

“Apologies, Jenna. That was rude of me.” Josh placed a hand over his heart, smiling his most sincere smile, the one his mother used to tell him would break hearts.

“Forgiven,” Jenna huffed, tossing a strand of blond hair off her shoulder. “And no.”

“No?” Josh repeated, eyebrow raised.

“No, it didn't travel that fast,” Jenna said, and the shit-eating grin was back as she knocked her shoulder against his. “I know how to sneak around without getting caught.”

Josh scoffed. “Good to know you're not a loud one then. You know,” He added, smirking. “Since there's guards stationed literally _everywhere_.”

“Oh my god,” Jenna laughed, the two guards chuckling with her. “I hate you, actually.”

“No you don't, I’m like an annoying older brother.” Josh laughed, tossing his arm across her shoulder amicably. She allowed it, pretending to glower up at him.

“The only correct thing about that sentence is the _annoying_ part.” She quipped, stepping out of his grasp when the doors slid open to reveal an empty hallway. “And I’ve seen how you treat your sister and let me tell ya, Josh, this ranks low on the scale. What am I? Chopped liver?”

“Okay, no, don't spin this on me. You're the one who started it.” Josh retaliated childishly and followed her as always, looking around suspiciously. “Besides, back to the point, I didn't sleep with him and you know it. Don’t go spreading rumours behind my back while I’m gone.”

“I know, I know, I just love seeing you blush like a little virgin.” She turned to him and smiled sweetly, looking as innocent as the devil.

“You’re the worst. I don't know why I tolerate you.”

“I’m like your ‘little sister,’” Jenna air quoted, mocking the pitch of his voice. “I’m supposed to be annoying, aren't I?”

Josh groaned, shaking his head and gesturing for her to keep walking. “Okay, we’re done with this conversation now.”

“It’s funny that Tyler keeps it in the family, huh,” Jenna continued, unfazed now that the two guards were trailing further behind them as to not impose on their conversation.

“I’m severely grossed out right now. Your mind...” Josh trailed off with a shudder, covering his ears with his hands, a warning that he’d stop listening to her if she said anything else. She didn’t, and Josh internally thanked God for it, although her smile never slipped off her face. She stopped in front of a door abruptly, pushing Josh toward it without warning.

“Go on.”

“Is this a joke? How do I know I won't fall to my death?” Josh asked skeptically, stopping himself from moving. He eyed the door, but there was nothing special about it. It was like every other one in this place, except this one didn't require an access code.

“Why would I want to kill you, Josh?” Jenna said, then perked up. “Oh, damn. Do I look like some rogue assassin or something?”

“Not really,” Josh replied truthfully, taking a step forward. “But then again, what do I know?”

Josh inched closer to the door until he got fed up with himself and marched up to it, determined and unafraid of whatever was through it. At this point he just wanted to get the mission over with, assassin found or not. Guilt washed over him when he realized he doesn't want to leave the rebel base after they take care of this assassin situation. How could he want to stay here when he knew he didn’t belong?

What was on the opposite side of the door took his mind away from his existential crisis. There were rows upon rows of weapons lined up for him, the walls peppered with different sets of guns and tactical gear. He stumbled forward like a kid eager to open up his gifts on Christmas day and reached for the first weapon he could see; a three headed spear, sharp at the end with smaller knives on the side of it. The metal was heavy in Josh’s hand as he shifted it from one hand to the other in awe before placing it back in its place.

There were taser shooters to the left of him and grenades in the shape of lighters neatly placed on a table. To his left was a net flinging gun that most probably electrocuted people unconscious, and a shield that Josh had an inkling deflected bullets because that would be the most obvious approach as to why anyone would want a shield. He noticed a pair of handcuffs too, but they covered the person’s hands completely, the thickness of it looking an awful lot like the ones he’d worn in his cell. He figured that power suppressing restraints came in handy, but Josh knew firsthand what having his powers cut off from him felt like and he doesn’t wish that on anyone, so he moved right past them.

He walked up to what he knew and kept it simple. Grabbing at the tactical gear was second nature to him, throwing it over his black t-shirt with ease and strapping it up with all the finesse of a soldier who’d done this millions of times before. He saw a thigh holster and attached it to his leg when he was done, his fingers working automatically at fastening it up. He’d already been wearing boots, their laces tied up and tight on his feet as he walked over to the guns.

Josh doesn’t want to brag, but he was an excellent shot. He wondered if all his time away from the battlefield lessened his accuracy or if it was something that would always be with him, like learning to ride a bike. He guessed if he really had to, he was going to find out.

He grinned when he saw the familiar pistol he always had with him before he got captured. Lifting the SIG Sauer, the newer P226R model he’d tried to steal from the weapons vault back on his army base more often than not, he felt like he was reconnecting with a missing limb. He cared very little for the revolvers and the riffles on the wall, checking the gun in his hands to see it was filled with bullets already. It was, but Josh grabbed an extra mag, just in case it came down to a real fight and he ran out. He could never be too careful.

With the gun strapped in place, he walked over to the knives where he noticed Jenna was standing at the edge of the table. She was looking at him with a twinkle in her eye and Josh wasn’t sure what it meant, so he turned away and inspected the sharp weapons laid out in front of him.

“Leave it to you to be surrounded by advanced weapons, _cool_ ones, only for you to go to the basic ones of them all.” Jenna snickered from beside him while Josh picked up a blade to inspect.

“I’m a traditional guy, what can I say?” Josh replied absently, lifting the knife and maneuvering it as if he were to use it. It was heavier than his usual combat knife, but it would have to do.

He grabbed a smaller one to hide in his boot, too, just in case.

“Okay, I think I’m good now.” Josh announced, and Jenna raised an eyebrow as if to say _really?_ “How come you keep a weapon room accessible to anyone? Aren't you worried someone will betray you?”

“Tyler likes to see who’s ballsy enough to come in here without authorization,” Jenna explained as she walked over to the door, motioning to the keypad. “It doesn't open again unless you have a special access code on the inside.”

Josh full on grinned, the giddiness of being back in gear making him overly excited. “ _That_ is sick.”

“Yeah,” Jenna agreed. “Luke put together half the things in here.”

“Did he?” Josh looked over his shoulder at the weapons as they exited one last time, a half smile on his lips. “That kid is too smart for his own good.”

They talked all the way back to the elevator where Jenna hit all the right buttons to lead them to the floor Josh knew better than any other one. Would they willingly give him the access codes to all floors if he decided to stay? He’d have to make them trust him of course, but he would already be in the class of ‘special rebels’ since he was allowed to be in the meetings where Tyler discussed everything. At least he’s got one thing going for him. He’s thinking up ways that he can earn their unrelenting trust when he realized what he was doing.

He _can’t_ stay here.

That much should be obvious to him by now, but as they step out of the elevator and into the familiar futuristic room to the sight of all his new companions, he couldn’t help but feel the ache in his heart. He’d have to leave them behind. This partnership wouldn't last, and when he caught sight of Tyler, dressed and ready in his own gear, nodding toward Mark and smiling at whatever he’d been told, he felt all the guilt and shame all over again. Why did he have to feel like this? Why couldn't he just stick to getting the mission done and not getting attached for once in his life?

“Hey!” Luke came up to him grinning, and Josh was sure he looked back at him with a look that resembled a man who’d witnessed the end of the world and somehow lived. “I, uh, I wanted to give you something. A good luck parting gift, but, I—are you okay?”

Josh’s breath caught in his throat at the mention of a parting gift, his fingers clenching at his sides as to not hug the boy in front of him and profusely tell him he’s not leaving _permanently_ , just for the mission. He held himself back, flashing a smile though it felt odd on his lips.

“Totally fine, dude. Whatcha got for me, huh?” He asked, unclenching his fists.

Luke reached into his pocket and took out something square that oddly looked like a bomb detonator. “Well, it’s a little hard to explain the exact details of it, but if you press the button,” Luke pointed to the only red button on the small shape for emphasis. “It should shield you from being detected by cameras watching the area.”

“That’s sweet.” Josh grinned, letting Luke place it into his hand, the thing barely the length of his palm.

“Yeah, uh, Halsey helped me design it,” Luke added, beaming with pride. “We tested it out here and we couldn't pick up anything about the other; no heat signatures, no detection on the cameras. It’s like you don't exist to the security.”

Josh stared, slowly blinking down at the object. “All that because I press this button?”

“Well, logistics.” Luke shrugged. “I could explain it, but it'll take a while and I don't think you have the time.”

“I’ll leave that knowledge to you then,” Josh reached over and affectionately ruffled his hair. “Thanks, kid. I appreciate it.”

Luke scowled, fixing his hair when Josh let him go. “It’s fine. I like to build stuff that helps. I wanted to give you another small thing, it, uh, it stops someone else’s power from working on you.” Luke paused to take a small breath, having rushed that all out in one go. “It wasn’t working, though. I _know_ I can get it to, but I’m limited down here, resources wise.”

The boy's determination spread a warmth in Josh’s chest, a soft endearing smile on his face as he let him rant his issues.

“If anyone can create something like that, it’s you, Luke.” Josh told him, watching the boy flush at the praise. “Tell you what, you can give it to me on the next mission I end up going on.”

Luke nodded enthusiastically, thanking him for giving him a chance and wishing him good luck again before running off to where Halsey was sitting, making exaggerated hand gestures in Josh’s direction in what could only mean him re-telling what just happened. Josh chuckled, shaking his head as he made his way to where Tyler was speaking to Jenna, Mark, Debby and Newt.

Tyler’s eyes flickered to him for a second in acknowledgement, never stopping from what he was saying.

“—Make sure that it goes as planned. We don't need any more failed attempts at this _or_ any casualties.”

“It'll be fine.” Mark assured him, patting his shoulder. “Debs and I will be here to guide her through it.”

Tyler doesn't look convinced, but nodded regardless. Josh wanted to ask what mission whoever this ' _her'_ person was going on, just so he could be in the loop and not feel like he was overstepping boundaries. He figured it was Jenna who was going, since she was the only other girl in this tight knit circle, but they could be referring to anyone. All of the people here were extremely capable, Josh learned that quickly.

“Okay, then. Josh? You ready?” Tyler finally addressed him, his steely gaze on him burning a flush up his neck. Josh tried to cool himself down as he nodded.

“Are you not going to give us a pep talk?” Newt snickered, gesturing to Josh with his head. “Too afraid lover boy will judge us?”

“Very funny,” Tyler shoved at Newt’s shoulder, the playful smile never leaving the blond boy's lips. Josh felt his face get hotter at the nickname while Tyler cleared his throat, no doubt for dramatic effect. “Do your jobs. Don’t die. Peace will win and fear will lose, and all that.”

They all said nothing when Tyler stopped talking, the cacophony of voices all around them sounding louder the longer they stood there.

“Great,” said Newt. “We’re all bloody inspired.”

“I’m glad my words touched you.” Tyler mocked, turning to Jenna and placing a careful hand on her shoulder. “Be careful, okay?”

“I should be saying that to you two.” Jenna smiled, leaning up and pressing a kiss to Tyler’s cheek. Josh doesn’t realize he’s glaring until Jenna winked at him before walking over and wrapping her arms around his waist, letting her head drop against his chest. “Be careful.”

“We will be.” Josh promised, wrapping an around around her shoulders, gently running it along her back until she seemed satisfied and stepped away.

“Are we done? Jen, you're acting like we aren't coming back,” Tyler motioned to her pouting face. “Enough of that. We’ll be back in a few days. Tomorrow if we’re lucky.”

She made a face, and turned back to Josh with a pleading look. “Don’t let him do anything too dangerous and don't listen to him when he says you should separate to cover more ground. He only gets himself into more trouble when he’s off doing his own thing because he tends to think he’s invincible when he isn't. I don't want him to find that out the hard way just yet, so please take care of him.”

Josh barely managed to get out an “I will” before Tyler raised an eyebrow, quizzically asking, “ _Just yet_?”

“You're pretty confident about this, huh?” Josh spoke directly to Tyler, his voice more confident than he felt. This assassin was a big problem for the both of them, but Tyler was sure they’d come out fine. It doesn't sit well with Josh, it weighed down on him and made his distrust in Tyler heighten.

Either he was just stupidly optimistic, or he was planning something sketchy.

“And you aren't?” Tyler countered, crossing his arms. “Haven't your superiors warned you never to go into a mission with doubts? That it would cloud your judgement?”

“I—no, they didn’t, but—”

Tyler stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder, holding onto him tightly as if to remind him that he’s there and he's real.

“Don’t worry. You'll be with me.”

Josh released a shaky breath, and then Tyler was leading him away from the group and Josh wasn’t even fighting it. He felt dizzy with emotions as he entered and stepped off the elevator for the millionth time that day, his thoughts jumbling up at the double meaning of Tyler’s sentence and he wanted to deny it, that they wouldn't be together much longer if this turned out to be a success, but he couldn't find his voice.

“Sir!” The voices of multiple soldiers standing at attention when they saw Tyler snapped him out of it. He noticed an entire squadron standing straight, waiting for their orders at the sight of their general and _this_ was the Tyler he knew about; the one that was feared, and respected, and wasn't to be reckoned with.

“At ease.” Tyler said smoothly, and they all dropped their stances, though Josh could steal see how tense they all were. Tyler visiting clearly wasn’t an everyday occurrence.

“What can we do for you, General?” said a woman with brown hair, chubby rose coloured cheeks, and a glint in her eyes that reminded Josh an awful lot of Luke.

“I need to take one of the jets,” Tyler explained. “I have some negotiations to attend. I hope that it won't be any trouble, Leia?”

Leia sniffed, her hands behind her back as she thought. “We weren't planning on taking to the sky today, so it won't be a problem.”

“Very good. You and your squadron have been keeping an eye out, I trust?”

“As always, General.” Leia nodded, her face unreadable. “No one has gotten past us or approached us. The royal army seems to have recalled their troops back to their perimeters.”

Tyler doesn't look surprised, or if he is he doesn't show it. “Interesting.” He murmured, and Josh found himself wishing he knew what was happening among the army he served. He doesn't belong here, he doesn't. He _doesn’t_. “Which plane can we take?”

Leia lead them down the runway, passing by some fighter jets that Josh had seen multiple times while on the battlefield until they reached a private jet plane that looked like it cost more than Josh would ever make in his life. How could Tyler afford all this? Better yet, what supplier would sell to the rebellion?

“You think arms dealers care about which side they sell to?” Tyler asked him, and Josh startled, face hot with embarrassment at accidentally speaking aloud. “Weapons dealers are all the same, Josh. As long as people pay, they sell. They stay neutral, play the game as Switzerland because that’s how they think they get ahead. By tricking both sides into buying from them without realizing.”

“Why would you buy from them if you know they sell to the royal family?” Josh followed Tyler onto the plane, Leia long forgotten. “Doesn’t it make you angry?”

“Because, one day, they'll owe me a favour,” Tyler explained simply, shutting the door and heading toward the cockpit. “And when that day comes, I’ll be the one laughing. Not them.”

The sight of lounge chairs, the tv screens, even the bar at the corner of the plane doesn't shock Josh. It’s the fact that there’s no other person on the jet.

“Do you know how to fly a plane?”

“Yes.” Tyler replied.

“How?” Josh moved closer, watching Tyler bend to adjust the seat to accommodate him, a small hum of appreciation falling from his lips.

“Ashley taught me. She’s really talented and smart for—”

It was the wrong thing to say; the reminder made Josh's eyes narrow, and Tyler never got the chance to finish what he'd wanted to say because Josh’s hand was pushing against his shoulder to turn him around, a long suffering rage sizzling in Josh’s bones since he'd found out. Tyler had the decency to look shocked at the gesture before Josh was pulling his fist back and swinging it right at his face, hard and quick and merciless. The way Tyler stumbled into the seat was satisfying, his fist having hit the edge of Tyler’s already bruised jaw with a sound that was like music to Josh's ears, never mind the dull ache in his knuckles now.

“That’s for not thinking to tell me my fucking sister was here,” Josh sneered, sitting down in the co-pilot seat while he still had Tyler surprised. “Now, let’s get going. I do have places to be.”

Tyler straightened up, a hand rubbing at his roughened jaw, and for a second, Josh almost thought he’d return the favour, punching him right back without warning. He’d welcome it, really. He and Tyler hadn’t really had the chance to get their proper feelings out about this whole mess, and after careful consideration, Josh figured it was better that way. They seemed to be working together fine until Josh ended up hitting him, but hey, Tyler deserved that one. His _sister_. That was low, even for Tyler.

It came as more of a blow to Josh when Tyler sat down calmly in the pilot seat beside him and only offered him a sharp, tentative smile in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't double update because i'm a piece of garbaaaage. i'm sorry. but hey, here you go!!
> 
> This is unedited because I just want you guys to have it, but please, if you spot any mistakes before I can get to them, feel free to let me know! (also I know fuck all about weapons, so apologies if I fucked up there. Oops?)
> 
> next chapter: the long awaited mission.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me and lets be friends if u want:  
> twitter: babsisnotsocial  
> tumblr: selfish-ambitions
> 
> pls leave comments and kudos if u liked it, i'd appreciate that so hard, my dudes. also i love validation so, ya know.


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